[pinknfwuffy]

I recently just broke up with someone I had been seeing for nearly a year. While it hurts, we both came to the realization that we just wouldn't work out over the long term. Outside stressors had been effecting us both and while I avoid the term "mutual", as most would argue break-ups are never simultaneous, we both really did come to terms with reality. With a bit of an age gap, we just weren't in the same life stages for it to work.

What I want to ask about is whether anyone has experienced a friendship following a healthy relationship? He and I were friends first, we have so much in common, and genuinely respect one another. No contact was never established, but it is neccessary. I am considering sending a simple happy holiday/new year e-mail in a few months, but otherwise let us both breathe. I know re-establishing yourself after a breakup is important both to heal and move on. But is a friendship possible whether it be months even years from now if we both want it? I've read some people say absolutely never and others have been successful.... so confusing.

[sourpuss]

I am friends with a few of my exes. It's definitely possible. Sounds like it was a mutual split and you are both mature. I don't see why you can make a casual friendship work.

[kristalyn_04]

IMO, in order for a friendship to happen after a breakup, both of you would have had to move on and no longer have romantic feelings for each other. That takes time and space, so I would say give it a little while before trying to be friends with him.

[Mes T]

I am friends with a few of my exes. It's definitely possible. Sounds like it was a mutual split and you are both mature. I don't see why you can make a casual friendship work.

Can I ask how long you were together with them/how serious the relationships were? I have trouble understanding being friends with an ex who was a serious part of your life at one point, but I totally get being friends with someone you weren't with for too long or weren't too serious about.

[sourpuss]

IMO, in order for a friendship to happen after a breakup, both of you would have had to move on and no longer have romantic feelings for each other.

I think this is key.

[stressed]

It's possible, as long as:

- There are honestly no feelings or hope from either side.

- Some time has passed since the end of the relationship.

- It won't interfere with the next relationship.

But, yes, you can have such a friendship for as many years as you want to, as long as it's 'clean' and doesn't bother anyone's SO.

[Allie602]

I think you still have feeling for him and being friends may keep up an emotional connection which will make it difficult for you to make emotional room for the next guy that will come into your life. It's better to make a surgical break and not contact him again not even email. Looking forward to sending him an email might keep you with the emotional investment, small though it may be.