[ashleygoez]

So I have known this guy for a long time, but not very well. He is the bartender at a bar in my home town. For a long time I just thought he was cute, and it was not an issue. Then I moved away to from my hometown and I was really lonely one night and went on facebook to see if I could find his page. Ever since then I have honestly become obsessed. I look at his pictures constantly, and have found out way too much stuff about him (his ex-girlfriends name, his parents name, the places he has been on vacation). As of now I have completely cut my self off of facebook because I waste alot of time on it in general, but it is also has aided my obsession.
I feel really embarrassed that it has seriously taken over so much of my time and energy, so I need some advice.
We each other, but I really like him....I really want to get to know him but I don't ever get the opportunity because the only time I get to see him is when he is behind the bar working, since that is really not that much of a possibility as of now, I know I have to just try and get over him.
Help me? what do I do?!?

[sourpuss]

So you don't live in the same town? If meeting him and getting to know him isn't an option, then not allowing yourself to look at his page is probably a good idea. If there is an opportunity to get to know him and spend time with him, then why not open the communication by sending him a message?

[Ashlee T.]

Yeah...why not just send him a "Hey, long time no see. How've you been? How are things at the bar?" type of message on facebook.

Def just sounds like you're lonely and have found something to fixate on. But if you're seriously THAT into him, I can't imagine not at least contacting him. But if you're not going to, I'd say definitely staying away from his facebook is a good idea. You don't want a little crush to turn into a scary obsession.

[idon't]

I've been through that!It quite surprised me when i read ur problem!And u know what i found out after a long time?That i was lonely and i just needed something to put all my energy on!Just relax and open ur eyes to the world around u.Socialize as much as u can.You'll find someone else to fulfill u.You'll see.
There's an other side of the story,though!If u think about it a lot and find out it's really something different in ur case then go visit ur hometown and have a drink where he works!Check him out a lot and talk to him.Then let us know how u did!
I hope for u it's the second one cause the first one hurts and wastes ur time.And if it's the second one,brake a leg!

[ashleygoez]

Thanks guys.
Ya beautiful disaster... agreed a crush turning into a scary obsession is well.... scary (for lack of a better word).
idont.... well, I actually went home last weekend, and went out with my girl friends a couple of the nights, and we went to the bar where he works... we chatted a bit, but he was really busy. Now when I walked into the bar he seemed pretty excited to see me, he was like "Hhheeeeeeeyyyyyy" (yes all long and drawn out like that). He paid for all of my drinks. both nights.
so I don't know. I'm just scared I guess. And he is ridiculously good looking (im not the only one that thinks so) when he is done working there is like a swarm of girls standing around him outside.... I refuse to be part of the infestation.... but I want him to notice me. At the same time, I don't want to, well literally stalk him via facebook on the inbetween time we can't see each other. so....
Help?

[idon't]

Ηmmm...It's a very good sign he was so glad to see you and offered u drinks...!On the other hand,i understand ur hesitating.I would feel insecure if i saw those girls around him etc...But you have to do something.It's nice to have your friends' support on that, so try to go more often.You could ask him go for a coffee sometime.How about that?Dont' be shy or else you'll be suffering.If he sais no,it will be hard but it will help you move on.But if sais yes...well he said yes!I don't know if u have the courage to do it but seriously,why not?Best of luck!