[Nikksta]

Ok i'm fairly new to the whole dating guys thing (my past relationships have been with girls) and I am really in love with this guy and we have been dating for a few weeks now but every time I've tried to hold his hand he's just not letting me. When I asked him why he simply said "its too hot, plus i think it's childish". How do I convince him that it's sweet and not childish? (FYI the holding hands does not determine my relationship with him it's just something i'd like to do)

[Nikksta]

FYI I am a girl

[WildChild]

You could point out that adults of all ages hold hands.

[Hopeless Dork]

Tell him that it makes you feel special when you hold his hand, that it makes you happy. If he shrugs it off and thinks its too much trouble to do that one little gesture to make you feel good... it points to a lack of interest in making you feel special, and points to a selfishness that will probably rear its head in other areas.

Most guys, just want to know what makes you happy, makes you feel good... from sex to affection to anything at all.. the average guy wants a happy girlfriend and will do the things she likes and wants once he knows what those are. The fact that he knows you want that, and while he may personally find it childish... too hot, stupid, etc... whatever he feels about it.. if he can't do such a little thing to make you happy, I'd worry he's not too concerned with your happiness.

Unless he's lived in a bubble he's already seen people of all ages hold hands, he's aware its something couples do and should not be shocked to know you'd want that from him.

How is he about affection in general? Does he kiss and hold you? Put his arm around you? Can you sit on his lap or run up and smooch him whenever you want? Does he pet your hair or express his feelings for you in non touchy ways?

[Nikksta]

Tell him that it makes you feel special when you hold his hand, that it makes you happy. If he shrugs it off and thinks its too much trouble to do that one little gesture to make you feel good... it points to a lack of interest in making you feel special, and points to a selfishness that will probably rear its head in other areas.

Most guys, just want to know what makes you happy, makes you feel good... from sex to affection to anything at all.. the average guy wants a happy girlfriend and will do the things she likes and wants once he knows what those are. The fact that he knows you want that, and while he may personally find it childish... too hot, stupid, etc... whatever he feels about it.. if he can't do such a little thing to make you happy, I'd worry he's not too concerned with your happiness.

Unless he's lived in a bubble he's already seen people of all ages hold hands, he's aware its something couples do and should not be shocked to know you'd want that from him.

How is he about affection in general? Does he kiss and hold you? Put his arm around you? Can you sit on his lap or run up and smooch him whenever you want? Does he pet your hair or express his feelings for you in non touchy ways?

In general he is really affectionate, he plays with my hair and holds me and all kinds of other things but grabbing his hand is just a kind of subconsious thing I do and I can't help but feel a little disapointed when he doesnt like it.

[jr]

A man's perspective.... This guy needs to grow up! Or at least get rid of his immature/macho thing about holding hands. There are so many wonderful reasons to hold hands and it is the simplest of gestures.

If he "cares" about you and won't hold hands, what else won't he do? Have you had a face to face, heart to heart conversation with him about it? Communication is key and a lack of same can lead to a whole bunch of issues down the road.

I'm not an expert and I am far from perfect, but everyday I try to do something to improve the life of the one I love....ie: put a smile on her face! To me, that's what it's all about. I may not always succeed in doing so but without an attempt there can be no failure.....

[pretzel]

A man's perspective.... This guy needs to grow up! Or at least get rid of his immature/macho thing about holding hands. There are so many wonderful reasons to hold hands and it is the simplest of gestures.

If he "cares" about you and won't hold hands, what else won't he do? Have you had a face to face, heart to heart conversation with him about it? Communication is key and a lack of same can lead to a whole bunch of issues down the road.

I'm not an expert and I am far from perfect, but everyday I try to do something to improve the life of the one I love....ie: put a smile on her face! To me, that's what it's all about. I may not always succeed in doing so but without an attempt there can be no failure.....

Agree totally here.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well said Jonnie

I had a boyfriend that made it very clear from the inset, "one thing I don't do is hold hands" and he was 40...

I think it's a "macho" thing, in other words, for what ever reason, these men feel that they're not being a man by doing this which is rubbish... And for the record? It shows clearly that they do not live for themselves, rather, what other people percieve them to be, which is sad...

We should be exactly who we are and not worry about what other people think...

CW

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well my love we have a Beauty section and your own headings, so why not post a new thread for everyone to provide their ideas?

Personally I think you may have started something

[mutablepearl]

sounds like a jerk... tell him BJs are childish? lol.. just kidding :P sorry girlfran