[Little_Miss_Me]

So, today I was having lunch with the usual group of people, and something a 60 year old man said to me struck me to the core (he knows me and my ex really well, kinda like an uncle-figure).

Anyway, he and my brother were debating "how to keep a man". My brother has always said that the best way to keep a man is to have a great sex life, something I've always believed in. And David, the older man, said, "While that's important, the tease and the chase means so much more -- that way when you do have sex, it's something you've been craving and wanting more than anything, instead of a mechanical 'we're having sex again' scenario."

While I don't think sex was mechanical in the least bit, I did expect to have sex every night, and most nights, we did. I never really teased without it leading to more. Now the relationship is over, and I've been dating other guys, it seems like he's right. I'm not ready to sleep with anyone just yet, but it seems like the more I joke and tease, the more they want me. I've gotten insane attention that I've never really gotten in other relationships, simply because I'm keep myself busy and I'm not putting out.

I just don't know if it's the "chase" that's making the difference or not. Almost ever person I've ever taken past the third date, I've ended up having a long lasting relationship (and a very sexual one).

So I guess my question is, what do you think? Any personal experiences/stories to go along with it? (I'm a sucker for a good story, haha!)

[Hopeless Dork]

I think teasing is ESSENTIAL to keeping the sparks going. I love getting my boyfriend (and myself) all worked up then occassionaly making him wait for it... til the next day, and then sending him dirty texts and emails letting him know how good i'm going to make him feel later and by the time we do it.. its fireworks.

Keep it fun, if you know exactly what to expect each day so does he, and thats I think when men or women will get bored ... gotta throw a wrench in there every now and then so that even though he knows whats probably going to happen... somewhere in the back of his mind he's excited thinking of all the possiblities..

So yes I think tease is apart of keeping things fresh and unpredictable along with throwing new ticket items on your menu at the most unexpected of times. As much as a guy doesn't want to go to bed with a case of the 'blue balls' there is something about fooling around then making them stop that is exciting sometimes anticipation is more fun than what you are anticipating... the craving and the wanting... its all apart of the greater pleasure.

[lizzardb63]

What are some examples of how to tease?

[LanaBear]

Anything really...

Bend over in front of him, 'unintentionally', then get up and walk off like you just didn't do it.

Grab his crotch, then turn around and leave.

Walk up behind him and lick his neck, turn around and keep doing what you are doing.

Look at him, lick your lips, then proceed talking as if nothing happened.

Send him raunchy text messages, make good on it that night when he gets home.

If you do it right, just about anything can be turned into a tease.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think it's both

They are both right, but the chase and tease initially is what drives a man to "want" badly... If the sex is awesome then he wants to stay for more

However, naturally the inner person is what keeps it from being a one night stand, and making it a relationship as he gets to know you an likes you for you...

But, I have to agree with the 60 year old in as much as, mechanical sex, is exactly that and not just a man, women too want excitement, adventure, out of the blue, straight horney sex as well as sensual and sexual...

I've pulled my top down and laughed, walked off, sat in a way where sexy knickers show, bent over pretending to pick something up, simply touched him as I walked past, shown the outline of a corset underneath a sexy dress, lifted my dress up and asked do you like my new bra set? teasing is essential, he is saying, oh we're in bed, naked, so better have sex, in out, in out, okay done now, well that's not going to keep the relationship alive sexually at all

[rcoreyus]

Teasing is great - but it needs to eventually lead to sex. Teasing but never actually having sex will just turn to frustration.

[Allie602]

Where a nice dress, not too short and then tell him you are not wearing any panties when you are on your way to an all day outing, that will drive him wild all day.

[Hopeless Dork]

Teasing is great - but it needs to eventually lead to sex. Teasing but never actually having sex will just turn to frustration.

Thats totally true, but I think a little bit of playful frustration can be good... and can create little middle of the week sparks. I don't mean teasing and NEVER satisfying... the satisfying is the goal of course! But I think when you give it up every single time it can be predictable, and though the guy may be in the mood to orgasm, it can be very technical and matter of fact without any build up. Sometimes you can work em up all day long like allie's suggestion then seal the deal that very night.

Other times you can work em up before bed then break out the fireworks in the morning. If you attempt to make your guy cum the minute he gets an erection every single time... it could become old hat... and when you are talking about a long term love... teasing and making each other crave it a little before coming through can make all the difference between mechanical sex and want you so bad I'm going to rip your clothes off sex

[rcoreyus]

Completely agree with Hopeless Dork. Nothing at all wrong with sometimes just teasing to keep the game going. Just be sure that usually it leads to more. (sorry, I'm touchy on this - I've been exposed to a lot teasing that was never intended to go anywhere and that gets really annoying).