[jamie43]

My BIGGEST problem in the dating world is approaching a guy I find attractive. Many times, I don't even make eye contact. I can't tell you how many attractive guys I've seen come and go, and I didn't even have the courage to say Hi.

And the funny thing is, I'm not wholly shy or a recluse. I'm 20-yrs old and physically attractive (I model occasionally and have done photo shoots). I also do some acting and singing. So I have experience being in the spotlight. But when it comes to meeting a guy who I WANT to meet, for some reason it's just not in me to go up to him and say Hi, or even look at him for too long. A part of me fears being rejected, because he doesn't really know me and might think that I'm weird for approaching him.

I'm looking for any books or articles that talks about dating for women. Not necessarily all about getting married, and not all about sex. Just dating guys in general, but it MUST talk about the subject of approaching a guy and minimizing my anxiety for approaching him. If you don't know of any books or articles, then I'd appreciate any tips of how to approach a guy and have a normal conversation, and deal with my fear of rejection. Thank you!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I would read Allan Pease - body language and his other books...

This will teach you what they are thinking when you do catch their eye and squash your fears of rejection...

It's not un-common for a good looking girl to fear being in the year 2000 where we can approach a man... But, I'm glad you are searching for ways to over come that fear, because, they will think your un-attainable and not approach you...

The honest key is you don't necessarily have to approach, persay, just smile when you catch their eye, that's the biggest body language signal of "I'm approachable"...

CW

[thiruselvamk]

At twenty is like being in a threshold of meeting men. You are anxious for company. You want to start saying hello.
RULE NO 1: No need to hurry. Rule No 2: Relax. Rule No 3: Smile natural. Rule No4: Get started.
I will elaborate a little. Other readers would contribute and enrich your need for answers. Walk up to that person, and throw a request info question or ask a favour. Examples: " Would you have some small change for me to..........?" or "Is this where we submit / register..........." or " Do you know where............." . Find a reason to start a conversation.
A genuine question at the right place/ time gets the ball rolling. If in a queue, the conversation could drag and if you do find the company ( you chose, remember that) good, pleasant, worthy.... just say would you like to join me at the cafe for tea/ coffee? If all sounds well, exchange phone numbers. As mentioned above Allan Pease's book on Body Language is interesting.

[jamie43]

Thank you!

[Guest]

wow, i can't believe there are girls that have this problem.

i have the exact same problem, except i'm a 27 year old dude...the two or three times i have approached girls, i've been shot down politely - which might even be worse than a simple "eff off, creep".

i wouldn't say i'm good looking, i'd like to imagine i'm average...and a few girls have come onto me, but they weren't any girls that i was interested in.

ur a model, right? your problem might be that guys might automatically think ur hot and assume that ur already off the market and hence not approach you.

here's my question to you though...if a guy was to walk up to you, what would you want him to say? what would turn you off? what would cause you to like him more?

[annalove11]

be yourself
be confident