[kevin32]

Hi ladies. There's a woman at my job that I want to ask out on a date, but before I ask her out, I want to make sure she's interested in me first, because I don't want to make her uncomfortable. I have a few questions:

1. Why would you consider dating a man from your job, rather than dating a man from the bar or club?

2. Have you ever dated a guy from your workplace? How did he ask you out on a date? What was it about him that made you attracted to him in the first place? Or can you recommend some ways I should conduct myself at work that will make her more receptive to me when I ask her out on a date? Thanks.

[Atraina]

i am only 17 but i can give some pretty good advice, although i am guilty of not being able to take my own advice. so here is what my opinion is. to answer question number 1, i know i would choose a guy from my work atmosphere because i can see how he treats other people. also i can see how well he can deal with stress, and we all know that being in a relationship can be very stress full. i can also get to know him as a co- worker and a friend, therefore we can hang out (as friends) and hopefully become something more. dating a man from a club or a bar screams PLAYER, LIER, CHEATER, and B.S! men who generally hook up with girls at bars and clubs want one thing, and thats an easy peace. i would never date a man i met at a bar because the drink, smoke and look for any lonely girl they can lay.
for your question number 2, no i haven't dated anyone from my work place, but when i date some one i look for responsible, respectful, honest, trust worthy, loving, kind, pertectave, strong, and faithful. i feel that you should be yourself around her, sho her who you truly are.

[kevin32]

I wanted to add this question to my original post: Is there anything you say or do to indicate to the guy that you like him and want to go out with him? Maybe smiling more or something?

And thanks Atraina. These are good tips.

[ItsASecret]

Might want to also make sure that office relationships are okay. There are sometimes places that do not allow this sort of thing to happen and greatly frown upon it and consider it a very inappropriate thing to be doing.

[Hopeless Dork]

A couple of months ago there was a guy at work that I had a feeling liked me, he always tried to help me with everything and would make sure he took his breaks the same time as me... 1. I have a boyfriend , 2. I wasn't into him. I feel almost as if its insulting to a guy to point out to him right away that you have a boyfriend the minute it seems like he likes you.. like what if he doesn't. I always cringe when a guy says something nice to a girl and the first thing she says is 'I have a boyfriend' I feel like he should say ... whoa... slow down there lol, I asked if you wanted a soda I am not trying to have your babies!! But I probably should have mentioned to him that I did have one, however if I were single... I still would have not been interested so... not sure how important that factoid was.

Anyways he asked me if I would like to have dinner with him over the weekend... and you could cut the akwardness with a stick after I declined... he no longer offered to help me all the time, would almost ditch me at breaks, etc.

Now there was another guy in the office that we flirted mutually ... he was attractive, but I would never have wanted more than the occasional flirt because of my relationship status and the fact that I am in love. It was harmelss flirting, just to pass my day and I think it was the same for him too.

So just keep in mind that for some women and men... they may not be interested in a work hook up, but enjoy the casual (non harassing) flirts that make the day more interesting. If you cross it and ask the person out... they may say yes... they may so no, and its hard to get things back to the pre-awkward state.

I'd get more feedback than just flirting, making convo's about what she does on the weekends, hobbies interests... if its something you'd like to try mention you'd really like to try that sometimes... and just gauge her response, if she gets awkward you might want to pull it back and not express interest in asking to go with her... if shes like yah yeah you really should try it some time! And is enthusiastic about your interest... you can go from there. But do make sure this person is not below you in status in the company, or someone who feels her answer to you asking her out may affect her job.

Be sure to check your company policy on relationships and dating and its better to play it safe than sorry, try to see the difference between innocent flirting and someone that is interested in hanging out after work.

Start with something light perhaps, invited several co-workers out to dinner or a bar after work... including her and see if she goes... if she does there is a shot she's interested, if not... you haven't stuck your neck out too far for akwardness.

[CandyCloud]

Hi Kevin!

It’s great that you have a special lady in mind that you want to ask out, I hope I can help with your questions…

1. Why would you consider dating a man from your job, rather than dating a man from the bar or club?

I have dated a man from my job and would do so again. The reason for this, I’ve always felt meeting in a bar or club never was really “serious”. I think for a lot of women meeting men at bars or clubs doesn’t have a lot of potential, so I think a lady would gladly date someone at her job.

2. Have you ever dated a guy from your workplace? How did he ask you out on a date? What was it about him that made you attracted to him in the first place? Or can you recommend some ways I should conduct myself at work that will make her more receptive to me when I ask her out on a date? Thanks.

I have dated a man from my job and he asked me out in a very sweet way - it was when it was dark out and he asked to walk me to my car and then he asked for my phone number and from there we talked and he asked me out. What attracted me to him (and also some ways the lady may be more receptive to you when you ask her) is this: he was always very friendly to me, always saying hello or stopping to chat for a couple minutes. Even though he was completely platonic about everything inside the workplace, I knew he was interested just by those things. I would recommend the same for you!

I hope everything works out!

[Atraina]

when i like a guy i usually laugh allot, smile, and constantly want to and try to be around him. but i know other girls are different. some do some hard core flirting, some keep it to them selfs until they make you think they don't like you until they are ready to admit that they have feelings for you.

[lizzardb63]

To all those who think just because you meet someone at the bar, they are a creep. I met my ex boyfriend at a bar. We ended up dating for 4 years with a very committed relationship. I have met my current boyfriend at a bar and we are in love and talking about marriage. Just because someone is in a bar, doesnt automatically rule them as someone who sleeps around or are looking for one thing. Otherwise...you're there too..what are you hoping for? Wouldn't be fair that no guy talks to you because they ASSUME you're a b**** because you're there. That being said. I'd rather date someone from a bar because, I worked in a place that had 500 employees. EVERYONE KNEW WHO DATED WHO and yes...they all know every fight, every physical thing they did, oh and LOTS of rumors. People like to talk, so if you date someone from work, don't expect it to be so discreet. At least that is how it was at my last job.