[kevin32]

Ladies, have you ever been harassed by a guy from your job? Or a guy that creeps you out? What does he do, or how does he behave? Also, are there any comments or body signals you use to show him you're not interested? I'm sort of new to this and want to know what to avoid and what signals to read from women that are not interested. Thanks.

[Hopeless Dork]

At WORK... your best bet is to assume NO woman is interested unless she gives OBVIOUS signs to the contrary, not the other way around. I just mean its a slippery slope when you assume women are interested and look for any sign to disprove that .. as women, most women are less likely to show negetives than they are positives in the work place. So just assume that every woman you meet at work is being nice and friendly because you are a co-worker. Don't assume any of them are interested unless they go above and beyond the smiles and being polite.

Once a woman at work is creeped out ... you've gone too far so don't keep pushing the envelope assuming women are interested until they give the ackkk weirdo leave me alone face (not calling you a weirdo btw) Just keep everything completely platonic assume they are NOT interested unless they give off a STRONG, and I mean strong vibe of interest.

And even if they flirt, there are some people that like to flirt in the office but are attached, if you have a woman that you think is flirting with you... you might want to learn if she's already committed to someone before you end up asking her out to get 'i have a boyfriend/husband/5 cats'.

Touching you when they talk, rule that one out if they are the type that touches EVERYONE when they talk, going out of there way to see you... repeatedly (not just once or twice). Just because a woman gets you for breaks etc... doesn't mean she wants to date you, she could want a friend or just want company and think you are nice.

The work place is such a no-no for so many reasons... one that if you make any woman feel uncomfortable or uneasy from unwanted advances... that is the definition of sexual harrassment in the workplace pretty much... so really I would suggest fishing from a different pond unless she makes it UNQUESTIONABLE that she is into you and wants you to ask her out. And if she is is beneath you in status at the workplace, don't even consider it.

[Ashlee T.]

Yes...in every job I've ever had except for my current one.

Anytime a guy in the workplace shows me "special" attention, meaning he gives me way more attention than he does everyone else, I see a red flag. This is bad for a woman on several levels. First, the guy could be a total creeper that ends up sexually harassing you if you give him even the slightest of attention back. Second, if people see him constantly at your desk or in your area, the rumor mill will start. This is very detrimental to a woman in business, especially in a business where men are more prevalent because then she becomes a sexual object instead of a well respected educated intelligent woman. Trust me.....this I've experienced. Women who want to be very successful in their positions, who want to advance in their careers based on their merits and accomplishments (not their looks) have to be VERY careful how the behave, and how they allow others to behave around them in the workplace.

My suggestion is to stay away from any type of flirting in the workplace. You want to be taken seriously by your coworkers and superiors so stay away from "play".

[ManINeedACoffee]

I agree with HD - just assume every woman there is uninterested. Assuming every woman COULD be interested and looking for those signs will come back to bite you in the butt.

And, yes, I have been sexually harrassed at work before...by a former boss, no less. What sorts of things did he do? Give me the "once over" every day, tell me flat out that I had a nice body and probably looked great naked, told me I was walking bowlegged after visiting a guy I was involved with with that horrible leering grin he used to get, and trying to get into sexual topics of conversation. I was very close to quitting.

What did I do? I said "no" and "please stop" in every single possible way I could think of - from the very polite to the downright rude - and he never did. When the another (male) coworker found out that he was doing this to both me and another young woman working there at the time, he called HR, and shortly after that the guy was fired. And of course it was our fault for making him think we liked it. I'm not sure what part of "Do NOT go there with me - stop." says "Yes, please, keep making me totally uncomfortable because I absolutely love it." Not that I'm bitter or anything.

[ItsASecret]

I have had it at one of my jobs, the creepyness automatically starts with the stares. That is always the first sign that things are either okay he wants to just be a friend at work (absolutely nothing wrong with that), or he lasted a couple seconds too long with that gaze stop it now. Its like if he is pouring some coffee in a conversation with you, he is either going to stare directly at you as you watch for his inevitable once over or he will go back and forth between looking for the sugar and turning his head to you as the conversation continues. The latter is a-okay, showing interest for conversation purposes without trying to turn it into 'how does she look without any clothes on?'. It is a very very fine line between the two when dealing with stares at the workplace. Conversation is the same thing, do not start conversations about sex or related material do not seem absolutely desperate either. None of the "so what are your hopes, dreams, aspirations?" "what do you like to do on the weekend?" "what is your idea of a good time?"...she may start thinking okay this is weird, sounds a lot like he wants to ask me out. Simply asking how she is doing, how her weekend was, and so on is okay anyone could ask those questions without seeming creepy. And biggest of all if she has a man in her life back off and keeping it completely 100% only friends.

[Guest]

Kevin,

Do you like your job? Company? Employment? Bank Account balance? Your Freedom? Then:

A) Don't approach women at work.

B) Don't approach women at work.

C) Don't approach women at work.

For ANYTHING other than work related questions, duties or responsibilities. Sexual Harrassment in the work place is an INDUSTRY with growth that is exploding.

Companies (first) and Employees (second and usually male) are being successfully sued for enormous amounts of money.

It's unfortunate, it's unfair, it whatever....it is what it is.

Be careful !

[kevin32]

Thanks all.