My fella got invited to go to a hockey game in a nearby city (about an hr away) last evening with a vendor and also offered a hotel room for the night so he could drink and not have to drive home. We work for the same University. Due to my position here, it was be very unethical of me to take part in something like that as it would be me accepting a "gift" from a vendor. That's a big no no. It's a no no for him too.....but he and everyone else in his very large department does it....which doesn't make it right, but it happens nonetheless. Anyhow so he went and when he got there at 5:30 he text me and said "I just got here, I'll text you later". No problem. So throughout the evening, I didn't text or anything because he was with a group of guys and I wanted him to enjoy his guy time and not be bothered with his phone. Now here's where it got a little ugly:
He knows I got to bed around 9 on weeknights as I get up super early in the mornings. I knew the game would be over by 9:30 so I stayed up thinking I'd get a message when the game was over, telling me what a great time he'd had, etc. I went on to bed, but the more time the passed, the more aggravated I got. 10:30 rolled around, still nothing. I couldn't sleep because I was bothered by the fact he told me he'd message me, and hadn't. So I text him and said "I'm going to bed" and almost instantly got a response "Hey babe. How was your night?". Then I find out they had left after the game was over and went to a bar. No big deal...he could've stayed at the bar all night for all I cared, but why couldn't he send me a quick message as he said he would?
He knew I was upset. He said he lost track of time and intended to message me when he got back to his room. I told him his inconsideration really hurt my feelings, and then said Goodnight and stopped messaging.
This morning I had a text from him stating that he hadn't slept because he felt upset that he had upset me. He again said he lost track of time and should've been more thoughtful considering he told me I'd hear from him. Also keep in mind the weather here is awful and the roads are icy and bad. So he knew I'd be anxious to at least hear from him. So anyway, he apologized. But here's the kicker.....now I feel awful about it. I feel like maybe I overreacted, shouldn't have been upset by it etc. But it made me feel like an afterthought and things like that make me feel insecure. I know if the roles had been reversed, he'd have wanted to hear from me, and I would've text him after the game without any doubt in my mind. So why do I feel bad about it? Do you think I was wrong? (No...that's not a loaded question.
)
He knows I got to bed around 9 on weeknights as I get up super early in the mornings. I knew the game would be over by 9:30 so I stayed up thinking I'd get a message when the game was over, telling me what a great time he'd had, etc. I went on to bed, but the more time the passed, the more aggravated I got. 10:30 rolled around, still nothing. I couldn't sleep because I was bothered by the fact he told me he'd message me, and hadn't. So I text him and said "I'm going to bed" and almost instantly got a response "Hey babe. How was your night?". Then I find out they had left after the game was over and went to a bar. No big deal...he could've stayed at the bar all night for all I cared, but why couldn't he send me a quick message as he said he would?
He knew I was upset. He said he lost track of time and intended to message me when he got back to his room. I told him his inconsideration really hurt my feelings, and then said Goodnight and stopped messaging.
This morning I had a text from him stating that he hadn't slept because he felt upset that he had upset me. He again said he lost track of time and should've been more thoughtful considering he told me I'd hear from him. Also keep in mind the weather here is awful and the roads are icy and bad. So he knew I'd be anxious to at least hear from him. So anyway, he apologized. But here's the kicker.....now I feel awful about it. I feel like maybe I overreacted, shouldn't have been upset by it etc. But it made me feel like an afterthought and things like that make me feel insecure. I know if the roles had been reversed, he'd have wanted to hear from me, and I would've text him after the game without any doubt in my mind. So why do I feel bad about it? Do you think I was wrong? (No...that's not a loaded question.
)
Get The Newsletter
Comment