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  • collegegirl2010
    Veteran Member
    • Jul 2010
    • 313

    Why do guys always target me sexually?

    It seems like every guy that approaches me or that I want to get involve with only wants sex. Not a meaningful relationship(which is what I want), but sex...It like they don't waste anytime just ask or intiate it right away. Why do they do this? And when I tell them I don't want sex and I'm not going to do it with them, they either slowly pull away & stop messing with me, or they get mad and try to persuade me to do it.Guys, what are your opinions on this? What do you think it is? What am I doing to attract this attention?
  • stressed
    Veteran Member
    • Jun 2009
    • 1914

    It could be because of one, or more of the following:

    - You're attractive.

    - You look at them and they perceive this as you're interested in their physical appearance.

    - You spend a lot of time in places where young guys hang out, mainly interested in sex.

    - If it happens at school/workplace then maybe somebody has spread the word you're after sex.

    Comment

    • collegegirl2010
      Veteran Member
      • Jul 2010
      • 313

      Originally posted by stressed
      It could be because of one, or more of the following:

      - You're attractive.

      - You look at them and they perceive this as you're interested in their physical appearance.

      - You spend a lot of time in places where young guys hang out, mainly interested in sex.

      - If it happens at school/workplace then maybe somebody has spread the word you're after sex.
      Well, I usually make it clear I don't want sex and all the people I conversate(d) with know I'm virgin. And about looking at them, that may be one reason, because sometimes I may look without trying to look at them in a "I'm interested" way, but It may seem that way to them so maybe you're right. But your reasons do make sense to me.

      Comment

      • CHANDLERS WISH
        • Mar 2008
        • 22440

        all the people I conversate(d) with know I'm virgin.
        That's why

        What red blooded young man (who is only after the chace) isn't going to try to be the first?

        It purely tells you that those boys are only after one thing...The decent boy wouldn't target you at all....

        CW
        PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

        Comment

        • Magnetism
          Veteran Member
          • Jan 2009
          • 1060

          I don't think you're doing anything. It's just that some guys are desperate to be the first one to take away your virginity. They want to get that feeling that they got you to change your mind. It's annoying, but some people are like that.

          I've personally found that announcing that I want a meaningful relationship in the beginning attracts the wrong kind of guys. Has anyone read Why men Marry b*tches? The author talks about that-How guys looking for casual sex will actually target the girls looking for serious relationships. You would think some guys would back off when you say what you're looking for, but some hang in to try and change your mind. Some like the chase, as chandler's wish said.
          "Dating is like slow dancing. Let the man lead, or you will fall all over your feet"

          Comment

          • collegegirl2010
            Veteran Member
            • Jul 2010
            • 313

            Originally posted by CHANDLERS WISH
            That's why

            What red blooded young man (who is only after the chace) isn't going to try to be the first?

            It purely tells you that those boys are only after one thing...The decent boy wouldn't target you at all....

            CW
            Yea, I agree because some of them I tell them too soon. But with some, they don't know that I am, alot of them actually can't believe that I am a virgin Idk what it could be, that's why I feel like its something else I am doing wrong. But you are right, someone else told me the samething.

            Comment

            • collegegirl2010
              Veteran Member
              • Jul 2010
              • 313

              Originally posted by PaneraBread
              I don't think you're doing anything. It's just that some guys are desperate to be the first one to take away your virginity. They want to get that feeling that they got you to change your mind. It's annoying, but some people are like that.

              I've personally found that announcing that I want a meaningful relationship in the beginning attracts the wrong kind of guys. Has anyone read Why men Marry b*tches? The author talks about that-How guys looking for casual sex will actually target the girls looking for serious relationships. You would think some guys would back off when you say what you're looking for, but some hang in to try and change your mind. Some like the chase, as chandler's wish said.
              I completely agree. Maybe they target girls looking for serious relationships because they know that the girl will take the relationship a little too serious and fall for them so hard they'll be blinded and would more likely give in/consent to sex...That makes sense. Like you said they are trying to change their mind.

              Comment

              • Magnetism
                Veteran Member
                • Jan 2009
                • 1060

                It's hard not to blame ourselves if something keeps happening repeatedly, but chances are it has more to do with them. They're looking for a fling and you happen to a pretty nice girl that they're attracted to. That isn't your fault that they happen to be looking for something and are pushy.
                "Dating is like slow dancing. Let the man lead, or you will fall all over your feet"

                Comment

                • collegegirl2010
                  Veteran Member
                  • Jul 2010
                  • 313

                  Originally posted by PaneraBread
                  It's hard not to blame ourselves if something keeps happening repeatedly, but chances are it has more to do with them. They're looking for a fling and you happen to a pretty nice girl that they're attracted to. That isn't your fault that they happen to be looking for something and are pushy.
                  Well, thanks for the reassurance...I don't know why I'm always feeling guilty about things.

                  Comment

                  • Magnetism
                    Veteran Member
                    • Jan 2009
                    • 1060

                    I do the same. I need to start taking my own advice.
                    "Dating is like slow dancing. Let the man lead, or you will fall all over your feet"

                    Comment

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