[KSmi]

Hi!

You can call me KSmi. As the subject says I think my boyfriend has OCD and BPD. We've been together for almost a year. He used to be really fun and sweet when we were just dating. However, things changed when we started exclusively dating. Apparently, he has anger issues and a feisty temper. He is also impulsive. He gets really worked up when he drives recklessly. He also has a tendency to "verbally abuse" me and/or the people around us.

I have honestly been thinking about leaving him. His OC behaviour is tiring me out sad to say. I'd like for us to remain as friends, but I am not entirely sure that is possible. The thing is, I guess it would be best if we have him diagnosed for bpd first. Is there a way I could ask him to do it without sounding offensive?

Also, would insurance cover therapist consultations? Was thinking of contacting insurance companies from this directory, but I am not familiar with them. So if you also have some advise re BPD and insurance I'd love to learn more about it, too!

Thanks!

[Guest]

Read the book "Stop Walking On Eggshells" It will help you make better decisions.

BPD is a challenge that can be overcome IF you're up to it. IF not, then perhaps it's time to go...

I would read the book first.

[Ashlee T.]

I always have issue with someone who CAN pull it together and put their best foot forward when dating, but then when they "get you" unleash all their beasts in a way that makes you think they can't help it. If they truly can't help it, how can they help it when they're trying to win you over?

I dated a man for a year that would have sworn had some sort of personality disorder, bipolar, bpd, ocd, etc. I was convinced. It made me feel sorry for him like his behavior was out of his control. I later found out he was addicted to pain meds and during his withdrawal periods was INCREDIBLY mean to me. He was also cheating on me the entire time and feeling guilt and stress over that, therefore taking that out on me as well. I'm not saying this is the case with your guy....but I am saying that there may be a diagnosis for almost everything, but it doesn't mean you should stick around.

Diagnosis or not, temper tantrums that get to the point of risking your safety when he's driving like a maniac and verbal abuse is unacceptable behavior in a relationship. Let him figure out who he is, what his issues are, on his own. Life is too short to spend it with someone you are not compatible and happy with.

My vote is, cut your losses, peace and part.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I wonder what the link was? Insurance?

In any event, anger issues, abuse, driving recklessly, are "anger issues" .... You can't diagnose someone, only a Doctor can and you can't lead the horse to the water, only the horse can.

As other's have said, where danger is involved, your life, you don't risk it...

Advise him to seek help, find out what the problem is, and just let him know that you won't accept this behaviour until he's seen someone, and has it under control....and leave.

CW