Hey, I got some great advice on here before so here I am again!
Ok, I've been dating my boyfriend for ~ 2 1/2 years. We had a lot of issues in the beginning with him being on "adult friend finder" & other similar sites, as well as issues with an ex. Well, he stopped all of that & after about a year, everything seemed to clear up & we were doing well. Last May, I found a (locked, I might note) text on his phone from another ex from 5 years ago, who I will call J. J had said, "Come down, let's *EDIT*." She lives in Florida & we're in NC, so I knew they hadn't actually met. After a huge fight, he finally admitted that he saved it because it "excited him". Hm. He then said he would cut off all contact with her.
Well, he moved in with me in December. When he first moved in, I saw that he still looked at both J's and the initial ex's facebook pages. I was angry but it did not turn into a huge fight.
Now, this Saturday, he went out drinking with his friends while I was at home sick with a migraine. He came back at 4 am (per usual) and passed out. I looked at his phone today and saw that he had saved a picture that she had sent him under "my pictures" on Saturday night. It was just a pic of J at the gym, who had obviously been working out & had gotten abs. He saved it on his phone & had sent it to an old friend from high school, but he deleted all other contact he had with her. His friend had said that she must be "really tight", but that's all I could find that was not deleted.
So, obviously he is still contacting the ex. I know I shouldn't have looked through his phone, but I was curious to see what he had done this weekend. I started to cry but then thought you know, I've been through so much with him, I don't know if I can cry anymore.
Please give me advice on what I should do. I know he's going to be angry at me for looking through the phone, and he has a great way of turning our fights into things that I've done wrong, let alone the lies he is trying to cover up. I feel betrayed and like there is so much he isn't telling me, and that he still wants to be with this ex. Is this cheating, although not physical? Why is he doing this to me?
What should I say or do? Please help- I am at a loss for what to say to him.
Ok, I've been dating my boyfriend for ~ 2 1/2 years. We had a lot of issues in the beginning with him being on "adult friend finder" & other similar sites, as well as issues with an ex. Well, he stopped all of that & after about a year, everything seemed to clear up & we were doing well. Last May, I found a (locked, I might note) text on his phone from another ex from 5 years ago, who I will call J. J had said, "Come down, let's *EDIT*." She lives in Florida & we're in NC, so I knew they hadn't actually met. After a huge fight, he finally admitted that he saved it because it "excited him". Hm. He then said he would cut off all contact with her.
Well, he moved in with me in December. When he first moved in, I saw that he still looked at both J's and the initial ex's facebook pages. I was angry but it did not turn into a huge fight.
Now, this Saturday, he went out drinking with his friends while I was at home sick with a migraine. He came back at 4 am (per usual) and passed out. I looked at his phone today and saw that he had saved a picture that she had sent him under "my pictures" on Saturday night. It was just a pic of J at the gym, who had obviously been working out & had gotten abs. He saved it on his phone & had sent it to an old friend from high school, but he deleted all other contact he had with her. His friend had said that she must be "really tight", but that's all I could find that was not deleted.
So, obviously he is still contacting the ex. I know I shouldn't have looked through his phone, but I was curious to see what he had done this weekend. I started to cry but then thought you know, I've been through so much with him, I don't know if I can cry anymore.
Please give me advice on what I should do. I know he's going to be angry at me for looking through the phone, and he has a great way of turning our fights into things that I've done wrong, let alone the lies he is trying to cover up. I feel betrayed and like there is so much he isn't telling me, and that he still wants to be with this ex. Is this cheating, although not physical? Why is he doing this to me?
What should I say or do? Please help- I am at a loss for what to say to him.
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