[missgrape]

It is my boyfriends best buddy's birthday party tonite - I'm almost 24 and have no interest in that kinda thing anymore - I know it will just be a bunch of 30 somethings trying to relive their youth and getting stupid and drunk - long story short, he is going, I am not. I am not into it. I feel bad because if I go I won't wanna be there and if I don't go I will worry all night til he comes home to me. He isn't a cheater or anything, but I have bad thoughts anyway. I'm paranoid. Any similar stories so I don't feel alone? Lol. Do you and your spouse have seperate social lives and go out seperately sometimes? I am totally not used to this. First time in our relationship he is going somewhere without me.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well there will be bucks parties too, hens nights He's 30 or there abouts, not 18 so he's going to be somewhat sensible and get home safely.

It's important to have independance, and important to just purely trust..Otherwise, the relationship won't go far anyway..

This is where you go yay, me time, mmm what do do, shall I catch up with some friends? Or take a nice long hot bath with candles and a book, glass of wine and spoil myself...

[missgrape]

I like your take on it... Hehe. I like to play on SecondLife so maybe I will find a party on there for myself. LoL

[NICSY]

Enjoy your own seperate time, absence makes the heart grow fonder

[Modesty]

This is where you go yay, me time, mmm what do do, shall I catch up with some friends? Or take a nice long hot bath with candles and a book, glass of wine and spoil myself...

Absolutely this. Don't see it as a bad thing at all... if he's not a cheater than don't even freak yourself out about it.

It's not like he is trying to "sneak" off to the party either. If you don't want to go with him you'll have to learn to trust him.

[orchiddreams]

Having separate social activities/interactions every now and then is perfectly healthy. It sounds like you both live together so it is sometimes necessary to give each other breathing room.

Also, he invited you to join him. It's not like he doesn't want you there or is hiding anything from you. The way you are feeling is totally normal. Sometimes your just not into going.

I get nervous sometimes when my SO goes out with out me, but when you feed your insecurities don't be surprised if they grow. Trust is key.

[rosekitten]

I disagree with Nicholas. I don't see wanting to have time apart for each to do their own thing to be a problem at all. Everyone is into different things, and there's no reason for either person to be unhappy (you unhappy for going, him unhappy if he doesn't) just for the sake of "being a couple." It's silly.

[KMonte85]

I also very much disagree with Nicholas. Time spent doing separate activities is enriching to a couple. It allows you the freedom to be "you" not "us" for a while. Think of it this way... if you only ever did things together, how bored you would eventually get? (at least I would) Personally, I think two people who must do everything together all the time lose a sense of self and eventually take on some unhealthy codependent tendencies.

While he's out doing something you've decided isn't your thing, take that time to do something that IS your thing. If SecondLife is what you like, then enjoy the uninterrupted play while the boyfriend is out having fun with his friends. He'll be home to you soon enough, and you can enjoy being a "couple" then

[Fallen1]

Old thread.

Closed.