[innocent_eyes]

Would really appreciated peoples insight into my situation.
Been dating a guy for over 3 months. Since the first night we met weve been meeting every weekend, talk everyday. About the 2nd month we decided to be exclusive, not boyfriend and girlfriend but just not see other people.
Thing is its over 3 months now and he says he is still not ready to be my boyfriend. He is 22 and never had a girlfriend before so I can understand that he would be slow to get into it. I just feel were ready and it feels like a constant kick to the stomach each week that goes by now and he still isnt ready.
Am i wasting my time with him?? The dilema is that everything else is so perfect should i be obsessing about this and just go with it?
Had a conversation with a friend who was seeing a guy for few months but wasnt that interested in him so said to me she didnt want to go out with him and have the boyfriend/girlfriend label. This is what started my paranoia thinking this was his problem.
Please help this very confused girl

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Labels are exactly that... You are dating exclusively both of you, you see each other every weekend and talk every day, in reality you are girlfriend and boyfriend as the definition goes, so instead of asking him, tell him that

I imagine if he has never had a girlfriend, he may fear that it means "marriage proposal" at some stage...Just enjoy each other's company someone else's thoughts is someone elses, that is how she saw hers not yours.

CW

[Mes T]

Yeah that was my thought as well, that since he's never had a "girlfriend" before he thinks that label automatically comes with something very serious, life-long, etc...

You are romantically involved and are "exclusive," what else exactly is he looking for to accept that this is a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship?

Just have a little chat mentioning all this, it's probably nothing more than a definition confusion.

[orchiddreams]

I wouldn't stress out over it. He hasn't been in a relationship before. If you enjoy eachother's company just keep doing what you are doing. Taking things slow is not a bad thing. You have to ask yourself what the title would give you which you don't already have. Be cautious though- you should draw the line somewhere.

If he gives you reason to think he is intentionally avoiding what the relationship actually is- then it would make me leery and frankly, I wouldn't even want to be his girlfriend.

[ren_07]

I was in this same situation. We were exclusive but he would not admit that we were boyfriend and girlfriend. It has more to do with his own personal interpretation of the terms and fears/paranoia over what the expectations mean. It can be easy to accept if both partners don't mind the "no label" with all the other parts, but usually one person feels a bit offended that the other person doesn't want to proudly boast about their "gf/bf." If this is the case and it's really bothering you, feel free to put space between the two of you more than normal so he's not so comfortable and sees a need to pursue you again. It'll get your point across in a way you don't need to verbalize.

[innocent_eyes]

thanks everyone for your help
Talked to him during the week and basically just put it out there that are we really any different to what a boyfriend and girlfriend would be, ive met all his family, THEY call me his girlfriend, we meet every chance we get, we dont see other people, were physically intimate,HELLO?? but anyway I ended the conversation saying im just going to put the whole relationship thing on the back burner and just enjoy each others company for what it is. That was Wednesday and by Friday he asked if we could take the next step He said the thought of me backing off is more frightening and scary than a relationship. Everything is all good and hes grinnning everytime he calls me his girlfriend. Im thinking reverses psychology works!!! haha

[Mes T]

You go girl! That's wonderful to hear.

[Guest]

It seems kind of odd that he wants to be exclusive, but not your boyfriend. Perhaps he really just doesn't know the definition of "boyfriend". i wouldn't worry too much about it, but he does seem a bit immature.