[LadyPinky]

Ok so my boyfriend and I have been together for a year and eight months. We are both 25 both still live at home with the parents. He is the man I want to marry and he feels the same about me. We see each other once or twice a week depending. He works night and goes to school and I work two jobs. Basiclly I want to move in together now, like this summer fall at the latest. He wants to wait till next spring.

Upon talking about it he said maybe in the fall if the summer goes well. Also he is worried we wont have enough money to do it. Ive done the math and know we can. Will things be tight yes but i feel its worth it to live with the one you love. But I think right now he is content spending all his money on his car and not paying rent at his dads. This frustrates me cause ive been saveing so I can move out. Which may end up happening with or without him. Not breaking up just living on my own. We have been through this before and he basicly paniced and told me to wait for him. So yeah.

I need this realtionship to move forward, he knows how I feel. Somtimes I feel he is as frustrated with were we are as I am. But why do I feel like Im the only one trying to do somthing about it. We are spending the whoel weekedn together and I want to talk to him about this. I just need some advice about the best way to go about this. Thanks in advance.

[Guest]

Well, as a guy, it sounds like he is content living with his parents. No bills and nothing taking his money so he can spend it as he pleases. It doesn't mean he loves you any less, he is just comfortable without the responsibilities of living on his own. Just a thought from another guy. It never bothered me to turn my entire check over to my wife as she is So good with money. Maybe he is afraid he won't see "his" money being spent on things he wants? Just speculating- I'd say to move into your own space and let him see you on your own and he will realize it's not as hard as it sounds. He's going to have to learn that it isn't just his money, it is going towards a relationship that will only get better with time as bills get paid off.
Just my advice, but I'd bet there are some women here that would be happy to explain it better. One more thing, get that man a copy of Pam Babbitt's book, "How to Please a Woman" and make him read it. You will be a very happy Lady if you do and he does.

[Mes T]

I agree with Mark that he's probably just so comfortable living at home - you say if you move in together money will be "tight," maybe he's much more afraid of that than you are.

If he's used to splurging on cars and whatever else, it'll be hard for him to stop that. He may end up continuing to splurge if you move in together, leaving you will all the bills!

I'd say move out on your own if you want to! I don't get why he panicked when you mentioned that before?? Why would he WANT you to remain at your parents' place?

Sounds like he's been putting this off for a while. Sounds like he may continue postponing without some serious pushing.

[Guest]

One other thought, I believe a person should be out on their own for awhile without living with anyone else, just for a little while. It gives you a chance to be yourself by yourself and figure out just what You want. Just a thought, I hope things work out for you and your Sweetie.
Maybe he will see you out on your own and decide that it looks a lot better than Mommy and Daddy's place. Cars are a money pit for guys, but they see it as their personality extension. Personally, I'd give up my truck if my wife thought it would help us. Just my .02-

[LadyPinky]

Thank you everyone for the advice. I think Im gonns talk to him maybe one more time about it this weekedn. But Im gonna start looking for places for myself soon. And Mark I plan on buying that book ASAP thank you