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I just don't understand

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  • I just don't understand

    I've been with my boyfriend for about 8 months, for the past 2 months he's been going through a rough patch.

    He's been feeling very lost like he doesn't know who he is anymore. The last time I saw him he opened up to me and told me about a lot that was going on.

    About how his father doesn't want to see him anymore, and how dropping out of college and losing his job has pushed him to sign up for the military. But how the coast guard might be the best thing for him, that when he gets back from boot camp he would be able to provide me with more things.

    That maybe we could move in together, and be together for the long haul. But mainly, he says he just feels very sad and alone.

    I told him that no matter what happens, I am there for him. I will help him through this and I will be there as long as he needs me to be there.

    Yesterday we had plans, his friend was having a bbq and I was suppose to head up after work. I called him telling him I was off and that I was going to head home first to shower and get ready. He responded by telling me he hasn't gotten ready for the day either. He said he's been lazing around all day and hasn't felt like doing much of anything. I said that was fine that I could just drive up now and we can be lazy together, we didn't have to go out.

    He told he'd call me later once he felt like doing something. I was confused, because he knows I now have 2 jobs and I'm trying to balance my time, and he knew I had to go to my second job later that night. I told him that I had to go to work again at 8 and that I really wanted to see him today cause I probably wouldn't be able to for at least 2 days. He came back yelling at me and telling me over and over he's depressed,

    I don't understand and that I just need to move on. I was completely blind sighted. I didn't even know what to say, all I could say and think was 'Why?' I told him I only wanted him and I didn't want to move on.

    After him yelling and telling me pretty much the same things over and over all I could yell back was 'This is the biggest cop out of ever heard in my entire life, if you just don't want me anymore just grow up and tell me.' He told me he's just screwed up and that doesn't mean he doesn't want me, then hung up on me.

    He turned his phone off and it's been off since then. It sounds kind of dumb, but I sent him a long facebook message expressing how I feel and really getting it all out. How I just didn't understand. That just the other night he made all these future plans with me, and now he's just telling me to pretty much go away.

    He didn't respond and I haven't heard from him since. And what even threw me for a bigger mind edited by Admin was the fact that he was tagged in photos at his friends bbq.

    This turned more into a vent then a question, but it felt really good. I'm just so confused, here is this guy, who I think I'm falling in love with and he's just thrown me away so easily. I have no idea what to do.. and I guess I just need some sort of advice on what am I suppose to do next? Nothing? Move on? Is what he told me real or was it really a cop out? I'm just feeling so lost and confused.
    Last edited by CHANDLERS WISH; 06-23-2011, 02:53 AM.

  • This guy either has a major mental/emotional problem or he's messing with you, big time! You need to decide which, then choose to stand with him and support him, or move on to greener pastures. Either way, he's gonna need some help.

    It sounds like he's honestly trying to warn you that somethings wrong with him. He may need counseling or medication.

    Comment


    • It sounds to me like you deserve so much better than the way he is treating you. Don't ever settle for less than what you deserve. You have given this man 8 months of your life and if he isn't treating you the way you deserve to be treated (and from the sounds of it, he's not) then you need to cut your losses and move on. The fact that he was to depressed to go to the bbq or even hang out with you and then turns around after yelling at you goes to the bbq without you... there's something shady going on. Find a man that is going to love and respect you and treat you like the princess you are.

      Comment


      • Speaking from past experience when a man tells you that he is "screwed up" and engages in this kind of on and off, push and pull behavior, the very best thing you can do is walk away.

        Getting into a relationship shouldn't be like buying a fixer upper house. "I'll just take down that wall, move this door, tear out the entire kitchen and rebuild it, get a new roof and refinish the floors. It will be perfect." Its one thing to need a little paint and hang your own window coverings, figuratively speaking that is adjusting to each other. Find someone who has done their own 'remodel' work and is all ready to live with as they are to get into a relationship with.

        Comment


        • About how his father doesn't want to see him anymore, and how dropping out of college and losing his job has pushed him to sign up for the military. But how the coast guard might be the best thing for him, that when he gets back from boot camp he would be able to provide me with more things.
          He told he'd call me later once he felt like doing something. I was confused, because he knows I now have 2 jobs and I'm trying to balance my time, and he knew I had to go to my second job later that night. I told him that I had to go to work again at 8 and that I really wanted to see him today cause I probably wouldn't be able to for at least 2 days. He came back yelling at me and telling me over and over he's depressed,
          I see something totally different...

          He opened up to you and he's in pain...lost...Here he has a woman whom has too jobs who says hurry up I have to get to my job but I want to see you as otherwise it will be two days...Yet, he, is feeling lost, depressed what to do, she's smart she works two jobs I am lost, I am not good enough for her, I've tried to tell her but I can't you know, my Father, never wanted me, so I feel sorry for myself instead of getting of my butt and saying "I can be someone, I am someone" I just want someone to believe in me but I am with a woman who works two jobs, she's smart she knows what she is doing in life, I'm lost and she can't see it and tell me you will be someone, get out there and I'll stand by you"
          PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

          Comment

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