[NICSY]

I was with my ex for a year, he was an alcoholic, which caused ALOT of problems!

He still claims he loves me BUT he has slpt with atleast 5 other women "wen we have fell out..and which mean nothing" THROUGHOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP.

What do u guys think?

N

[NICSY]

Also, if a guy jsut wants to be a player, why bothered entering a relationship??

[KMonte85]

I think you're wasting your time and energy focusing on the feelings of a man who is a big piece of poop.

Alcoholic, manipulating, excuse-making cheaters are not worth this much thought. Forget this loser... Focus your energy on YOU, what makes YOU happy, finding someone who will treat YOU like YOU DESERVE.

[rcoreyus]

If the question is really "should you dump this guy", then I'd say yes. Now. His behaviour is not acceptable in a relationship.

The case where I would think cheating might be acceptable is if the person you love refuses to sleep with you. I think that if you consistently deny your partner sex (except for medical reasons), you cant be surprised if they get it somewhere else. That doesn't sound like your case though.

[Guest]

Ah yes, the ugly alcoholic truth serum has reared it's ugly head once again.

An alcoholic who is unwilling to seek help for their addiction is not ready for sobriety. Someone not ready for sobriety is not able to maintain any type of relationship based on honesty and trust.

He claims he loves you...yeah, sure he does. His only real "girlfriend" is a bottle of Jack, a 12 pack, or whatever his alcohol of choice is and that is the only thing he really loves too.

[jns]

He just wanted what he wanted. I wouldn't doubt it if he manufactured arguments and fights to give him free space to bed another girl. He uses the alcohol as a crutch to excuse his behavior, but I think he actually wanted to be with those women. And he always had you at home. Why are you still considering staying with him?

[Guest]

If you wanted to extend your life...would you drink poison?

Makes about as much sense, don't you think?

Love and cheat don't belong together...ever.

[Ashlee T.]

What do u guys think?

I think he's trying to convince you into believing that the alcohol is to blame...and that he has a problem, therefore he has no "control" over it. That's BS. And in your gut you already know that. A cheater is a cheater despite any other issues they may have. He doesn't love you.

Also, if a guy jsut wants to be a player, why bothered entering a relationship??

You're trying to use logic here in an illogical situation. Lots of people want the stability, assurance, and ego boost of having a "relationship". Those are not at all the right reasons. So there's your answer. Why would he bother entering a relationship if he knows hes a player? Because he wants someone to come home to, he wants someone to feel obligated to him, he wants stability. Lots of people who cheat are otherwise not promiscuous unless they are in relationships. They enjoy the cheating, the sneaking, the getting by with it. And as time goes on they enjoy the way they deplete your self esteem and self respect.

I think you know what you need to do here.

[kira]

In this case no he does not love you. Is it possible for a person to love and cheat, yes I think so. There was a case on a relationship forum about 2 or 3 weeks back where a man the woman split with years ago for reasons other than relationship problems came back in to town. She still loved him even though she also loved her new partner. So her partner gave her a one night pass to go to the guy's hotel room and do whatever she wanted. That was with permission so not as much cheating but it shows you can love multiple people and if the person's self control is no good they may end up sleeping with that other person they still love. I might be able to handle giving permission ahead of time for my partner to have sex with someone else one time but despite the fact they might still love me I don't think I could stay with someone who cheated for any reason.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

What do alcoholics do? They make excuses for their drinking...

What is he doing by sleeping with women, whilst in a break up? He's making excuses to himself and to you, he's not with you so he can..

What therefore does that tell you? About his personality type and therefore, is this what you deserve in life?