[CHANDLERS WISH]

I know of Mr Big but not Adan, care to give us the line

OP...

Is it respectful to text or call at 2am, then get frustrated so 2.15am and then 2.30am....Is it love to do that...NO.....

The one thing a guy hates more than anything is one) his ex moving on, not because he wants her but he doesn't want anyone else to have her and two) his ex, moving on mentally, for the exact same reason.... He will think of her, but not because he wants her back, but because he does not want her to move on....EGO...

Guess what game he's playing?

If he wanted you back, he would call you at an appropriate time and ask to catch up and talk....Think about it....

Tell him next time - " My you have a huge ego don't you, wondering if I am moving on from you? I'm all good, go play with someone else".....

That should get him a beauty.

[SaharaJim]

Mr. Big called while Kerri? was staying at Adan (new boyfriend's cabin) and came out to the cabin where he got drunk and whined about his "new" famous actress girlfriend because: "She could call him..but he could never reach her".

[Guest]

Why not be honest with him. Text back "I would consider getting back together but, if you are not interested, then please quit calling or texting me. Thankyou"

Simple and straighforward, that's how you communicate with a man.

[fiestypunkgirl]

I'd have to agree with everyone who is saying most likely its not an indication he wants to get back together.

Actually, I liked the "change your number" suggestion. But, you wouldnt even have to do that. Just tell him you are and dont respond anymore after you've "turned it off"
heh heh

Its a game. He was probably shot down by some chick(s) at the bar and needed an ego boost. So dont be the when-all-else-fails option. You deserve better than that! A one word late-night drunk text is not his way of trying to get back together. When a guy has his sights set on a woman he will stop at no ends to get her, and if he needs to get her back...he'll work even harder.


If it didnt work the first time, it probably wont the second time, if it even got that far. So text him a cold "do me a favor: lose my number" and be done with it.

Wow, a completely different approach than the previous post :-P

[Lorelei]

I think the first step, before all of these suggestions, would be to decide whether or not you will get back together with him if you have the chance. It sounds to me like you would, which means that all of these wonderful suggestions don't really do you much good.

You really need to sit down and decide if the relationship was worth going through what he put you through and if it would be worth going through again. Are you willing to listen and hear why he broke it off in the first place? If you do get back together, will you be on egg shells wondering day to day whether he's going to do it again or will you be able to put it behind you like it never happened? Will you be able to trust him or will it turn into a "what are you doing?" "who are you talking to" kind of life from you?

There is a lot you need to consider before you consider whether he is reaching out to you or not. If, after everything you've sat and looked at, you've decided you *would* get back together, you would then need to work out what the calls and texts mean. ((Which I honestly believe is him making sure he's can still get you in bed when he has no one else.))

Good luck. It's not going to be easy.

[Hopeless Dork]

I can certainly understand your feeling of 'I'd get back with him in a second' but you have to come to realize that thinking that way could lead to you being used and abused in this and future relationships. There are women that men are able to treat as disposable, because they think they could get them back whenever they want. Its almost as if they can sense desperation and know yeah, this is a woman that will be there for me when I feel like it. And will happily go away when I don't want to deal with her. You NEVER want to be put in that catagory. If he hurt you and broke up with you... if he comes crawling back... you can't be standing there with a welcome home sign or it only ENCOURAGES that behavior. Seriously.

If there is something you see in him thats worth working through, you still have to maintain a level of respect that you expect from him before allowing him back into your life... and a 2 am drunken text is NOT that type of respect. Thats showing that not necessarily he's thinking of you missing you as a person, thats him possibly going 'hmm bar's closing, no one here I like... let me call that chick'.

I'm not trying to hurt you with these words I am just hoping you can look outside of your broken heart and see his actions for what they truly are rather than what you hope them to be. You are worth more than you give yourself credit for. And men can sense whether or not you know how much you are worth. When they KNOW a woman knows she's special they will not throw you away, and they will work hard to earn your trust and love if they think they did something to risk it. But if they realize you don't know your own value as a person -- they can take advantage of that and put you on a shelf, get back to you when they feel like it, ignore you otherwise and so on. The whole 'yeah, i got her like that' little boy jerk thing.

You have to get your head out of the clouds sometimes and look at the person they really are, really were to you... and not the person you wanted them to be or hope they'd become. Sometimes we look at someone and see they have the potential to be everything we need to make us happy... if only they were nice, if only they treated us better.. but the truth of the matter is they can only be what they are, we can't will them into being what we want... and we can only walk around dilluded and hoping so long before reality smacks us in the face in an undeniable way.

He could be testing the waters to see how eager you are to take him back, and while that is ultimately what you want, (please please think about if that is what you REALLY want, or if you are just trying to mend your broken heart as quickly as possible by placing a bandaid over something that actually needs stitches) you should be cautious in how welcoming you are, especially when he puts a foot in the water and texts you... then ignores you when you text back. If he was sitting there missing you as much as him he would have jumped on your repsonse... know what I mean?