[Katalyst]

This is my first post and I stumbled on this forum by a google search, so here I am and thank you for having me.

Anyways, I am seeing this girl and I have been acquainted with her for quite some time, however; I invited her to a party and it looks like that we were both mutually attracted to each other. It wasn't like that before the party, but I know the dancing and the alcohol seemed to have stirred something up. Lately she doesn't want to leave my presence and when I am around she loves kissing me, non-stop. She can't stop and I have to get upset before she stops because at one point she would rather kiss me than sleep.

Now, here comes the problem. I enjoy her company and I know I make her happy, but I can't kiss her without wanting to go further, but earlier when I was pushing towards sex she declined. It wasn't even a normal decline, she said, "I want to, but I can't..." I've asked her to go even more in-depth with the explanation, but she doesn't even have one. She doesn't stop me from fondling or groping and she does the same to me, but when it's towards sex she swears that she wants it, even more than I do, but she repels away. I'm honestly confused and hopefully a female perspective or a more experienced male will help me on this. I don't know if it matters, but I am 21 and she is 26.

Thank you.

[CaliforniaRed]

She has a reason - it could be religious; it could be another guy. It almost doesn't matter what her reason is. The bottom line is, this is a game. You've gotten duped into mutual masturbation. This business of mutual fondling and foreplay up to the point of actual penetration is playing with fire and ultimately just lands you into frustration. What do you want from this relationship? You need to find out what SHE wants from it as well and see if the two of you can work it out or move on without all the mixed messages.

[Mes T]

Yeah I agree with the above, she's definitely got a reason. I think when you're together next (not while you're fondling but during a non-sexual moment) you should push her to give you a reason. Not knowing, yet being teased to that extent, I'm sure is getting frustrating very quickly.

Think of ways to broach the subject in a calm and open-minded way, like you're not trying to push her to do something she doesn't want to, but you're just trying to understand the reasons behind her actions.

Like the above poster said, it could be religion, lack of interest in intercourse, maybe she's a virgin, maybe she's had bad experiences in the past, maybe she's insecure about herself "down there" for whatever reason. But we can only guess - best to hear it from her.