[Imoen]

Hi everyone,

I excuse myself before starting for a possibly very long post.

As a few of you readers may already know from previous posts, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 8 months. Everything has been working wonderfully between us. He is a wonderful man, he takes care of me and treats me like I need to be treated most of time... except for when my period is about to start.

Now, to clear things up before I continue... I suffer from PMS (Post-Menstrual Syndrome). It is a pretty tough illness, it tears me down for around 3-4 whole days before my period starts, and apparently my boyfriend too. I have not known that I suffer from it till my boyfriend told me that such illness exists around 2 months ago, and I confirmed that I suffer from it.

During those 3 days our relationship is a total disaster, we quarrel most of time, I get depressed for the slightest misinterpretation of anything he tells me.

Anyway, to get to the point of this post - when we cannot meet each other, we like to spend our time playing on-line games together while we talk through a voice channel. However, lately he has been wanting to play games like non-stop. We do not spend that time alone any more on the voice channel like we used to do before, we barely speak to each other because he is "...too busy..." playing.

I have told him many times, I approach him and calmly tell him that I feel like we are cutting down on our time alone, and I tell him that I miss those moments and that I wish that he could at least dedicate around 15-30 minutes a day to me when we are on the internet. Do not get this wrong please, we do talk while he is playing, but all we do is talk about the game, nothing about our real life, nothing about our schooling, we simply ask each other how we are and other than that we talk just about the game. I want to talk about ourselves more. I tell him all this, but he gets angry. He literally starts shouting at me, telling me that I am exaggerating because of my PMS, he tells me that he does speak to me while we are playing. But really that is not what I want to talk about, and I tell him. All he does is blame me for being so sensitive because PMS.

To be honest, it is true , I get totally depressed, I start crying, cut down the line on him, go to bed crying and wait for him to call me, sometimes for hours, but he doesn't call, so I call him. He asks if I calmed down yet, I tell him I didn't, and there we go quarrelling again.... This is pretty much what goes on in those 3 days.

A few days ago he got an invitation to play a new game. It was going to be available for testing by the players themselves for only two days. Well, today was the first day of this testing-run, and he... of course... spent from 1 pm afternoon till 11 pm playing this game. Fine, I understand ... he has been waiting for it for long time and he likes it very much, so I let him play. At around 11 pm, I asked him if he could get off the game so that we could talk for a little bit. He didn't want to get off this game. This is what he told me:
"I can play this game for only two days, than I will never be able to play it again ever. I am not getting off the game!" (He was shouting at me while saying this)

This is where PMS started kicking in. I told him not to shout at me, I started crying, cut down everything on him and went to bed. I was stupid enough to wait for him to call me, and he didn't.... so I called him, asked him if he was still playing, and yes he was, so told him that I want him to stop playing the game and spend some time with me. I don't really need to repeat what happened next... he starting shouting again, and he didn't get off the game, till 2 am! ...

Now, tomorrow this is most likely going to happen all over again....

I need some advice.... Like I said at the start of this post, he is a wonderful man. When we are together and hang out he treats me just as any girl wants to be treated. Just this on-line thing..... AM I really exaggerating like he says? Am I expecting too much from him during those days that we cannot meet each other face to face? Is it just my PMS, and should I just try to calm down and let everything go on as it comes? Or is he really starting to get addicted to gaming? I don't know what to do.... I am ready to do anything to save this relationship and I don't want a game and my PMS to set us apart.

I have noticed that the aggression between us because of a silly game is getting stronger and stronger. Please, is there anything I could do to , (if not fix) at least tame a little the situation between us. Tomorrow I am planning to not go on-line, I want to spend some time alone watching TV and hang out with my girl friends for a drink. I want to rest from this continuous depression that I keep getting. I haven't told him that I won't talk to him tomorrow, should I?

Any advice would be of great help.

Regards,
Imoen

[Aeryn Sun]

Is he playing SWTOR? If so, we are too, and yes, it is only 2 days, and you want to use it up as much as possible. When it comes to Beta, you only get invites once in a blue moon, if at all. Your contribution goes on file, and is kept for future use if that company needs to do a beta server again. If you don't use it, you lose it, and your name to do it again potentially.
With that said, if it is SWTOR, it is slated to be released on December 20th, so it isn't the last time he gets to ever play, just the last time before it is released.

I haven't told him that I won't talk to him tomorrow, should I?

If you can say this in a nice way, go for it. Some distance is healthy, especially if you know it is going to prevent a fight.

[Imoen]

Thank you for replying Aeryn Sun, yes it is SWTOR he is playing. He will not be able to play it again because he doesn't want to pay the registration fee. We are currently saving up all the money that we earn to buy our own house, I want to move out from my father's house because of some issues that I have talked about in other posts here before.

I understand that he can only play this game for two days. But really, does he need to show all that aggression? Does he need to shout at me to tell me that he wants to play it instead of spending time with me? Couldn't he simply just be a little more sensitive and tell me all this calmly, especially when he knows that I suffer from PMS? I cannot understand his attitude. I'm afraid he is getting addicted to games. However this only happens when we are not seeing each other. When we are together he is really sweet, and very caring towards me. I just don't understand why he needs to be so aggressive and shout at me when I ask him for a 15 minute break from a game, any game not just SWTOR.

I will definitely hang out with my friends tonight. I do need a break from the fights and as you are saying it WILL prevent another fight... He is too stubborn to try and understand what I am asking from him. Am I asking for too much?

Thanks, Imoen.