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Devastated . bipolar boyfriend broke up w me out of nowhere..tumultuous relationship

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  • Devastated . bipolar boyfriend broke up w me out of nowhere..tumultuous relationship

    So I was recovering from a divorce last June when I met a man at a music festival. I had expected it to be casual summer fun, but developed feelings for him quickly, as he did me. He had been separated from his wife for years and the divorce is to be final soon. I'd never felt like that about a man. He was wonderful....funny and caring. Protective and gentle. He said I was the sweetest best woman he'd ever met. He told me he had bipolar disorder and he used no medicine to control it. As much as I could tell he cared about me, he was very scared of the word love and his bad marriage made it worse. He also lost the parents that raised him, as well as his older sister. His first girlfriend committed suicide as well.

    So despite all this, we dated for a few months. He finally said I love you and we moved in together. But he was very distant physically at times. He said he has a hard time being vulnerable and showing his feelings but that he loved me. He put me on an kind of pedestal, he said that I was too good for him and would be better off without him, like his kids. They live with a close family member, temporarily. We talked through all that and continue on, but the ups and downs got even worse. He would be fine, then go for days without really talking. I knew it was part of the disease but it was so hard not to take it personally.

    Well a few months ago he came into a bit of money and I could tell a depression was taking him over. He became withdrawn and irritable, everything I did was wrong. Then the next day I was his girl again. He apologized for ever making me feel bad.

    I know he loves me greatly and I love him. But he started texting his ex girlfriend then 2 weeks ago he tells me he is very depressed and he can tell he's bringing me down. That he has a million thoughts racing and doesnt know what to do. That he doesn't want to lose me... maybe we moved too fast...maybe hes just my rebound .... hes running out of time to be a good dad and person .... he loves me and promised himself he would never let his disease hurt anybody he loved. Then he just never came back home.

    He came and got his clothes while i was at work, he left some electronic equipment for me, cleaned and took out my trash, and he didn't leave the key. I haven't heard from him since. I'm devastated. He has gone back to his partying ways. I know he loves me and i feel like this is the disease.

    Has anybody been in a similar situation... and please dont tell me to just let it go. Easier said than done

  • Ok ... so almost 200 people have looked at my post and nobody has any advice or anything....

    Comment


    • I have suspicions that my boyfriend has bipolar disorder. Some days I'm the light of his world and other days I'm a deceitful liar. I don't really have advice for you, because I'm in the same boat as you. I know that I'm going to stick it out for as long as humanly possible because I love him like I've never loved anything in my life. Some days are perfect and others (like today) I cry all day long. But the good days are so much more important than the bad ones, and for every bad day, I know that a good day will come. I just have to keep in mind that if I'm serious about this, I have to just deal with this. For the rest of my life. It seems daunting, and it is, but what I feel for him is just out of this world. I hope you find the right way for yourself. I know most people wouldn't put up with the ******** that I do. Can I ask you if you have any idea what he was texting his ex about?

      Comment


      • well he is now 'seeing' his ex. She is easy .... and by that I mean she will never expect more of him than what he is right now. He doesn't feel guilty about not getting a better job or stepping up to the plate with his kids or any of the other ****ty decisions he makes. He had texted her before and I found out and he begged me not to leave and told me it was nothing, just a text.

        As I mentioned earlier, he puts me on an odd pedestal. In his eyes I am perfect. Im his sweet girl that loves him and his kids and can do no wrong. He said before he would never hurt me with his disease, so I am thinking he left me in his own weird way because he loves me. I think he is in a SEVERE mixed state right now, mostly depressive. He told me the night before he left that he didn't know what to do because he didn't want to lose me. He wants to raise his kids with me. I saw them at a local bar....he was like a deer in headlights. He didn't sit by her the whole time, just stared at me until they left.

        I know people who aren't familiar with bipolar will say there isn't an excuse for this..and as angry as I am and as much as I understand their position... bipolar disorder is a very serious and real thing.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by kittysarcastico View Post
          Ok ... so almost 200 people have looked at my post and nobody has any advice or anything....


          Welcome to the Forum Kitty Sarcastico..
          I'm sure you will get some advise soon, There are Hundreds ( actually Thousands ) of members here .

          Some are like me, where we are of different time zones,or on our morning wake up, having coffee, getting ready for Work, having breakfast. So we have time to " Skim " through the Newest Posts , but no time to respond . Or Visa Versa, some just getting home from Work/ College and relax a few and have time to glance through, but then have other things to get done.

          Give people a little time to read, sometimes Re~read and have time to put in thoughtful Advise .

          But from what I have read, You are willing to allow his treatment of you to be " Blamed " on his Disease of Bi~Polar ? Genuine Bi~Polar Disease needs Treatment, Professional Counseling, Mental Health and even a True Psychiatrist or Psychologist Involvement.

          You are not saying if he is on Medication or seeing Professionals ?

          I'm devastated. He has gone back to his partying ways. I know he loves me and i feel like this is the disease.
          You are saying he is Going to Bars and meeting with his Ex ? If he Loved you he would not be in the Bar at all, or with his Ex. he would be home with you .


          He Must First learn to Love Himself ( and Kids ) First. You mentioned he wants to raise his Kids with You ?
          He wants to raise his kids with me.
          He put me on an kind of pedestal, he said that I was too good for him and would be better off without him, like his kids. They live with a close family member, temporarily.
          Does he have Custody of them, or Visitation with them , while they are at a Close Family Members Temporary Place ?
          hes running out of time to be a good dad and person
          How is he Running out of Time and for What is he running out of time for ?

          I am very sorry you are Hurting, But this sounds more like You know he can be a Good Guy, he Needs and Wants You sometimes, but not all of the Time. He " wants to raise his Kids with you " But can't raise them on his own.. He goes back to his Ex ( possibly Mother of his Kids , Not Sure here ) and sounds like even She Doesn't have Custody of them.

          What I'm asking , is , Aren't You worth having a man Put you on a Pedestal Every day of your Life with him ? Not a Maybe this day, maybe not the Next ?
          And just think if you had a Child with him, how that would be in the Child's Life. One Day Daddy Loves me and I'm his Princess or Prince, 3 days later.. A Different story, goong back to the Ex & out Partying ?

          There are no Instant answers here, there will be Advise and some from ones who have experienced things similar to yours. Also remember, we are all Ethically Diverse and Aged very differently, so some responses may sound like Mothers or Fathers, others will sound like Peers .

          I'm sure that Most Long Time Members, will take their time to respond, Research and do their best to help you find an Answer or even just help sooth your Hurting.

          PS... And some of us post long Responses due to trying to help when I have time .. lol

          Comment

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