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Nervous? or just an annoying "habit"?

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  • Nervous? or just an annoying "habit"?

    Hi again...as usual I am "lost here" and need to try to understand the female mind?prospective? I am Dating? Seeing? Involved with? (whatever!) a very pretty, very articulate, very "accomplished" woman and we seem to be pretty much "crazy" about each other. BUT; and I hate that there is a "but".....she can talk a hole in you. She "shares" a conversation fine but even when I get up to go to the bathroom or leave the room on some "errand" ( and I told her or she "knows) that I am going. She keeps on talking...on and on and on. And I feel it is "inexcusably rude" to "walk out" while someone is trying to talk to you. I have "explained" that my hearing is limited and I can not hear what she is saying if I am in another room; but she continues to talk nonstop. It's not that what she is saying is "uninteresting"...it is..but... Is this just "nervous" chatter because we are "new" together; or an annoying habit that may be a warning about her that I shoud listen to?

  • It could be nervous chatter, it could be that she is the type of person that doesn't want the conversation to stop, or the type that just talks on and on. Next time, as you are getting up, hold out your hand (not in her face) but in front of her and say something to the effect like "Just hold that thought, because I'm excusing myself for a moment. I don't want to miss what you were about to say, I'll be right back." Then - YOU - have to turn around and leave. When you come back, just ask her simply "Now, what were you saying?"
    That which we forget may as well never really happened.

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    • What should I "watch for" when I try this tactic? If she just keeps on talking...is that a "sign" that she is hopeless on this? If she becomes annoyed- should I "bail out"? I don't really think this is a "deal-breaker" issue...but is it a "warning" of things to come?

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      • You can only control your actions. After you've asked to be excused as I said above, then you turn around and leave. If you can pick up the conversation where you left off - fine. If you can't just tell her "Sorry, I didn't hear you I was leaving the room." This may take a few (or even several) repeats. i.e. you may have to do this on several occasions. If she still doesn't get the message - tell her straight out that it really bothers you because you can't hear what she is saying as you are focussed on something else.
        That which we forget may as well never really happened.

        Comment


        • Thanks Claret; sound advice...I just wanted a women's view because so often what we (guys) think is a reasonable solution is seen in quite a different way by the women we are with. Walking out when the other person is still talking seemed to me to be rude and an indication that you don't think what they are saying is "important" or "interesting". I would be offended...but then...I would let them go do "whatever' and expect to resume the conversation when they "returned". I think this woman is great...but if we can't work out something as minor as this...then we need to "let it go" and move on.

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          • Doing it this way is far better than one day just dumping her - she'd have no clue as to why - and you could end up missing out on a great relationship that only needed to go in a different direction over a small thing.
            That which we forget may as well never really happened.

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