[Magnetism]

Hi buddha boy

I'm sorry if I came off as accusing you of being patronizing. I didn't mean anything bad either, but was simply sharing my opinion. I'm also sorry to hear of that crazy online dating story! Yikes.

Thanks very much for your input. You do have a point that not everyone will be put off by stating your intentions. Yes, I often wondered what was wrong with me when I kept running into certain types of people. That's why I turned to relationship books like "Why men marry b*tches" and "Act like a Lady: Think Like a Man."

I'm glad you agree that waiting to have sex is effective for both women AND men (yes, even men). Believe it or not, I had a female friend that urged me to have sex sooner than I was ready with a man that I was dating. The whole point was to let the passion build and assess whether someone is serious or not.

[Hugo-B]

Hi buddha boy

I'm sorry if I came off as accusing you of being patronizing. I didn't mean anything bad either, but was simply sharing my opinion. I'm also sorry to hear of that crazy online dating story! Yikes.

Thanks, it took me a while - I was younger and more sensitive back then, but I really can laugh about it now - so no need to be sorry. I can't judge every women by what she did, can I? It was difficult not to for a while, but imagine how bad I would have let things get (and it would have been my fault) if I had started treating all women as if they were like her, and holding them responsible? As I said, sorry to hear about these awful dates and how demotivating they must be, but a taste of the sour only makes the sweet taste sweeter!


[/QUOTE] very much for your input. You do have a point that not everyone will be put off by stating your intentions. Yes, I often wondered what was wrong with me when I kept running into certain types of people. That's why I turned to relationship books like "Why men marry b*tches" and "Act like a Lady: Think Like a Man." [/QUOTE]

I've read plenty of those kinds of books too, men's and women's. I don't there's anything wrong with turning to books in order to find assistance, and it's very easy to think you're doing something wrong when you can't seem to get to where you want to go with something.

I think internet dating has it's limitations, but as I said I also think you've been VERY unlucky (possibly you're too trusting? I'm guessing you're a trusting person, we tend to judge others by our own standards) with the men you've met and with their behavior.
What may be advisable is to perhaps join a different site, maybe a more expensive one, certainly not a free one, which attracts different clientele? I wouldn't give up with your search but certainly change where you're looking if the men are as bad as you say.

[/QUOTE] glad you agree that waiting to have sex is effective for both women AND men (yes, even men). Believe it or not, I had a female friend that urged me to have sex sooner than I was ready with a man that I was dating. The whole point was to let the passion build and assess whether someone is serious or not.[/QUOTE]

I think that making a man wait for sex is the best way to test his intentions. There are plenty of girls ready to have casual sex, so why men feel they need to manipulate girls looking for relationships into a quickie I'll never know. I wouldn't be offended at all if I met a girl online and she expected me to wait a couple of months for sex, if all I were after was sex I certainly wouldn't be waiting around for that long!

One very effective way of meeting people I've found is when you meet new people, is to arrange to socialize with them out of your social group and in theirs. This can be great fun, a great way of making new friends and a very productive way of meeting single people, this is exactly how I met my GF, we had sex the second time we met, and it's our one year anniversary soon, but it felt right and the safety aspect of me being a stranger (i.e. unknown internet man) was extinguished as I was a good friend of her best friend.

Good luck, thanks for the reply.

[Magnetism]

Buddhaboy

I was under a lot of pressure to get married ASAP at that time.. Since many Indian parents grew up in a culture where casual sex was unheard of, they don't realize that some Indian men can exploit women. My parents were very shocked to hear that I ran into such men on Indian marriage sites. In their heads, Indian men have good morals and values. I think these marriage sites are a candy store for men looking for casual sex. They know that women are eagerly anxious to get married.

Once I started dating outside of my race, I started to meet people that were more respectful when it came to sex. I've realized recently that I never was happy dating within my race. I was only doing it to make my parents happy. I sometimes think it was a good thing that I met into the wrong Indian men. The experiences are what helped me venture outside of the box.

[Hugo-B]

Buddhaboy

I was under a lot of pressure to get married ASAP at that time.. Since many Indian parents grew up in a culture where casual sex was unheard of, they don't realize that some Indian men can exploit women. My parents were very shocked to hear that I ran into such men on Indian marriage sites. In their heads, Indian men have good morals and values. I think these marriage sites are a candy store for men looking for casual sex. They know that women are eagerly anxious to get married.

Once I started dating outside of my race, I started to meet people that were more respectful when it came to sex. I've realized recently that I never was happy dating within my race. I was only doing it to make my parents happy. I sometimes think it was a good thing that I met into the wrong Indian men. The experiences are what helped me venture outside of the box.

I know there can be some cultural differences which affect the way men and women view members of the opposite sex. I don't agree with chaste societies (which in my opinion oppress women) and promote arranged marriages and view women who are not virgins as not eligible for marriage. I know these are extreme examples.

I used to work with an Indian women who was desperate to get married, her parents also pressured her and actually wanted her to enter into an arranged marriage, she refused so they challenged her to find her own husband. There were also a Sikh and Hindu couple whose parents were threatening to disown them if they didn't split up.

Interracial dating is, I think, pretty cool; I know girls who exclusively date black men, English men who prefer to date asian women etc... I once had a half Italian half Brazilian girlfriend for a little while,I couldn't believe it when she said yes after I plucked up the courage to ask her out, fond memories...

No one should be 'pushed' into marrying anyone; I think some more traditional people view marriage as a status thing and think other people will think they have something wrong with them if they're 'left on the shelf' and not married by a certain age. Add religion into the mix and not marrying can be seen as deviating from religious and cultural values which may be a big problem for some.

Regardless of race I think, as I said before, it all boils down to compatibility, for you especially this sounds like it's dependent on finding someone who shares your values. If you're religious (and practicing) perhaps participating in social events at your local place of worship may be a good networking opportunity?

Good luck

[Quest]

I'm not female but I would prefer a girl state what she wants up front. For myself a serious tag would be a positive thing because I would have no interest in random sex outside of my personal eventual goal of marriage + 1-2 kids. That of course isn't saying the relationship would get that far, only that starting out we would want similar things.