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From I love you to ********** U

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  • From I love you to ********** U

    Boyfriend of just about three years of so much is going through so much stress. His grandmother is sick with Cancer and has a limited amount of time to live since December, and he just found out that his mom is sick with the AIDs virus. We both had our losses outside and within our relationship during our time but I have always loved him.

    We've gone through lies and fights. This year alone, I have had two miscarriages (which is very hurtful to me still). We have a lot behind us and I have learned how to put those things behind us, for the most part. However, because I have been lied to by him twice about things that were so demeaning when I found out but would've been trivial if he would have admitted earlier, I had issues trusting him. Nonetheless, I have continued to love him, be affectionate and caring.

    To cut a LONG story shorter... This past weekend we didn't speak all weekend. I told him to call me on Friday but he didn't. Monday was my rite of passage, something very important to me. He called me and I missed his call because I was with my family and when I got home I went straight to bed. I woke up to texts from him saying to "answer the ********in phone" because he needed me. I called him ASAP and he told me the story of his mother and when he told me that he hung up on her because of how madd he was, I started to flip out on him. I told him how ungrateful he was for not trying to understand and embrace his mom while she is here.

    I guess the frustration was because (1) he did not call me all weekend and when he did call, he di not even congratulate me or ask how i was doing (2) I had to go to my cousin;s wake on the day of my rite of passage.

    I feel that he is inconsiderate b.c of what has gone on with my miscarriages and how he wasnt there when I was pregnant (which is why I stressed so much) and because he lets every probable loss effect us. At first, when he found out about his gma (same time I was going thru my first miscarriage), I was there for him. I am always one to please... whenever he needed ANYTHING. But now I feel like he is too pitiful to even deal with me. He is so stressed that a simple convo cud turn n2 an argument. I tried to help by letting him get some time alone and not calling or textin him unless it was to ask if he was okay.

    We got into an argument b.c I said I feel like my feelings are second and he is constantly in denial about anything I say that sounds bad in his name. I tried but there is but so much I could take. I have had nights of crying and tossing and turning while he was next to me but I have NEVER let him cry a second w.o me holding him or atleast reaching to caress him. He said that all I do is bring up the past when I say this but I am saying how I feel.

    I got so angry that I told him to mourn alone and that if he keeps bein so negative, he won't have S******. Then I said F u and he said f u back.

  • The two of you have to learn how to communicate with each other instead of attacking each other. What was your life together like before all of the stressful situations started happening?
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

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    • Originally posted by jns View Post
      The two of you have to learn how to communicate with each other instead of attacking each other. What was your life together like before all of the stressful situations started happening?
      I know, we have always had some sort of stress whether it had been from our family issues or finance... He just called and apologized and said that he needs me and the problem is that he doesnt think about our arguments enough but he is so quick to call back because he feels that we could just forget about our arguments. I am not feeling what he said because what I said was not just an argumentt

      Comment


      • I too agree with you. Some time we need some space for us in order to balance our life.

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