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My boyfriend is upset with me for giving my number out.. was i wrong?

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  • My boyfriend is upset with me for giving my number out.. was i wrong?

    Hi all, im new here so please be kind to me.

    Me and my boyfriend have been together 11 months, im 22 and he is 24.. We've had a great 11 months together and never fought much at all, we havent had a fight since the very beginning before this past week. I love my boyfriend very much and tell him all the time, and he also tells me he loves me all the time and wants to marry me. He frequently talks about the future for us.

    My boyfriend has been alittle bit upset with me for this past week, he still sees me often and tells me he loves me, and even though we settled what he initially told me was bothering him, he has been acting alittle bit different towards me, and still brings up this issue. He is still affectionate with me, but sometimes i can just sense he's still upset with me, and he's been asking me strange questions lately about my committment to him.

    I just started working again at the beginning of summer, and most of the nights ive worked my boyfriend has come to pick me up from work (every time he had off he picked me up). My boyfriend has always been on time when picking me up. 1 night my bf was a couple minutes late picking me up, not a big deal, i wasnt mad and he did apologize for being 2 minutes late. However that night when we got home, I went on my facebook in front of my bf, and a male co-worker who ive become friends with at work had messaged me on facebook apologizing to me for not waiting with me until my ride got there. My bf wasn't mad at this, but he said he felt my co-worker was being alittle over dramatic, and he didn't see the need in this co-worker expressing to me that he felt like a jerk for not waiting, when my boyfriend was only 2 minutes late, and i was in a private parking lot outside my building. My bf said he felt this guy was a nice guy, but possibly sucking up to me.

    2 weeks after this, my manager had an anniversary party for my company on a friday night that i had attended without my boyfriend (he had to work so he couldnt come) This guy from work who messaged me on facebook was at the party. We were talking at the party in a group setting, nothing flirty or innappropriately, but just talking as friends and about the job. I got home from the party alil late, called my boyfriend then went to sleep.

    The next night (saturday night) I was with my boyfriend, and I again went on facebook on my boyfriends computer. With my boyfriend standing there, I saw that I had received a message from this male co-worker, late the previous night after the party had ended, telling me that he had a nice time hanging out with me at the party, and if i'd like to hang out with him again, here's his number. So I didn't think anything of it, I only like this guy as a friend from work, and ive told my boyfriend this, and i wanted to be nice, so I responded to the message and said that sounds good and we can hang out again, and I gave the guy my number.

    My boyfriend got upset at this, and was asking me why I had to give my number out, when this co-worker obviously likes me. My boyfriend was telling me I should have politely replied to the message, but not given my number back in return, especially since technically this guy didnt ask for it, he just gave me his.

    So my bf was annoyed but that didnt last and he got over it that night.. however in the following days to come, this co-worker has been texting me almost everyday, and he has already asked me when we can go out. My boyfriend got mad over this, and we've had a mini arguement over it twice.

    Am I in the wrong here? My bf says he doesnt think ill cheat on him and beleives me that I only like this guy as a friend, however he says he thinks im encouraging a guy who obviously likes me. I dont know if this guy likes me.. I also want to mention I no longer work with this guy, he was only working at my company as a temp hire for the summer.

    I also will be fair and say, that my boyfriend doesnt have any other female friends, and he told me he doesnt want any female friends because he doesnt want me to ever be upset over anything or think a girl is trying to steal him. So he doesnt talk with any other girls.

  • I don't think you were entirely wrong here... it sounds like your boyfriend has a case of the jealousies. which...can be understandable. There's a guy who wants to hang out with his girlfriend, who is texting her, and seems to be flirty, even if you're not flirty back. Since this guy is texting you every day, I think he may be over stepping some boundaries. If you text back and forth on a daily basis, that's more than just a "work friend"...not saying he's more than a friend all together, but it probably just seems suspicious to your boyfriend. You're alone with this guy when your boyfriend is not around and it probably makes him nervous, but honestly...what it totally comes down to is taht your boyfriend HAS to trust you. He may tell you he does, but the way it sounds his actions are is he doesnt. Maybe for the time being while you and your boyfriend patch things up you should make some space between you and your co-worker. There are some trust issues and those need to be resolved.

    Comment


    • Originally posted by lizzardb63 View Post
      I don't think you were entirely wrong here... it sounds like your boyfriend has a case of the jealousies. which...can be understandable. There's a guy who wants to hang out with his girlfriend, who is texting her, and seems to be flirty, even if you're not flirty back. Since this guy is texting you every day, I think he may be over stepping some boundaries. If you text back and forth on a daily basis, that's more than just a "work friend"...not saying he's more than a friend all together, but it probably just seems suspicious to your boyfriend. You're alone with this guy when your boyfriend is not around and it probably makes him nervous, but honestly...what it totally comes down to is taht your boyfriend HAS to trust you. He may tell you he does, but the way it sounds his actions are is he doesnt. Maybe for the time being while you and your boyfriend patch things up you should make some space between you and your co-worker. There are some trust issues and those need to be resolved.
      My boyfriend went out with his friend and the friends girlfriend the other night. I couldnt go because i had to work. So after the night was done with, my boyfriend told me that he asked him friend and his friends gf about an opinion on this. I've met these friends of his before, as we've all double dated several times. My friends gf is nice to me and is a nice person so we dont have any problems between us. My bf said that when he asked for an opinion on this, both the friend and the gf said im wrong 100%

      Comment


      • Originally posted by amandaxoxo View Post
        My boyfriend went out with his friend and the friends girlfriend the other night. I couldnt go because i had to work. So after the night was done with, my boyfriend told me that he asked him friend and his friends gf about an opinion on this. I've met these friends of his before, as we've all double dated several times. My friends gf is nice to me and is a nice person so we dont have any problems between us. My bf said that when he asked for an opinion on this, both the friend and the gf said im wrong 100%
        First, they are his friends and most likely will take his side. Also, he is telling the story so more than likely presenting the situation from his viewpoint.

        Here's the deal:
        Work guy: more than likely, he's into you. Does he know that you have a boyfriend?
        Your boyfriend: has no right to tell you who you can be friends with and exchange numbers with. This is not the ninteenth centruy, nor a country that treats women like their husband's property. He needs to get over it.
        Your role: Technically, you did nothing wrong. However, this guys seems like he is into you so you don't want to give him false hope. Set up meeting time with a bunch of friends including your boyfriend. This will make it clear you are not interested beyond a friendship.
        Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

        Comment


        • I agree with lizzard 100%. You might also try being totally obnoxious about dropping your boyfriend's name (and the fact he's your boyfriend) around this work friend.
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          Comment


          • Originally posted by sp346 View Post
            First, they are his friends and most likely will take his side. Also, he is telling the story so more than likely presenting the situation from his viewpoint.

            Here's the deal:
            Work guy: more than likely, he's into you. Does he know that you have a boyfriend?
            Your boyfriend: has no right to tell you who you can be friends with and exchange numbers with. This is not the ninteenth centruy, nor a country that treats women like their husband's property. He needs to get over it.
            Your role: Technically, you did nothing wrong. However, this guys seems like he is into you so you don't want to give him false hope. Set up meeting time with a bunch of friends including your boyfriend. This will make it clear you are not interested beyond a friendship.
            Your first question is exactly what I was going to ask and is the million dollar question: does he know you have a BF, if not, why not? Your BF is not being unreasonable in expecting you to make this clear to men who are interested in you.

            The work friend may well not have bothered pursuing you if he knew this.
            "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" [I]Julius Caesar[/I]

            Comment


            • Originally posted by sp346 View Post
              This is not the ninteenth centruy, nor a country that treats women like their husband's property.
              I think women should have to walk five paces behind their owner when they travel on foot together down the street.
              "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" [I]Julius Caesar[/I]

              Comment


              • Originally posted by buddhaboy View Post
                I think women should have to walk five paces behind their owner when they travel on foot together down the street.
                Why? So we can smell their farts when we walk? ha!

                Comment


                • Originally posted by buddhaboy View Post
                  Your first question is exactly what I was going to ask and is the million dollar question: does he know you have a BF, if not, why not? Your BF is not being unreasonable in expecting you to make this clear to men who are interested in you.

                  The work friend may well not have bothered pursuing you if he knew this.
                  The work friend added me on facebook a while back, to which my boyfriend didnt say anything or seem to mind at all.. on facebook it says im in a relationship and my default picture is with me and my boyfriend.. so from facebook alone he has to know. Also I was talking about my boyfriend at the party that he was at.. Im sure he knows I have a boyfriend. I will admit I havent mentioned my boyfriend directly to him (not intentionally just when he texts me its small talk and i just didnt find the need to bring my bf up for any reason), but I talked about my boyfriend right in front of him at that party when talking to another girl in our conversation.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by sp346 View Post
                    First, they are his friends and most likely will take his side. Also, he is telling the story so more than likely presenting the situation from his viewpoint.

                    Here's the deal:
                    Work guy: more than likely, he's into you. Does he know that you have a boyfriend?
                    Your boyfriend: has no right to tell you who you can be friends with and exchange numbers with. This is not the ninteenth centruy, nor a country that treats women like their husband's property. He needs to get over it.
                    Your role: Technically, you did nothing wrong. However, this guys seems like he is into you so you don't want to give him false hope. Set up meeting time with a bunch of friends including your boyfriend. This will make it clear you are not interested beyond a friendship.
                    I just want to mention, that my boyfriend has been telling me he's not upset with me strictly for giving my number to another guy..

                    He told me if I would of gave my number to this guy for work related purposes, or just to keep in touch as friends he wouldnt mind.. But my boyfriend is upset because he said its obvious this kid is into me, and that I shouldnt of given him my number when he was asking me about hanging out. My boyfriend is saying that I didnt put the breaks on this right from the start, and gave my number to a guy whose asking me to hang out.

                    Comment


                    • The co-worker likes you, and your boyfriend sees this and is afraid of losing you, of you losing interest in him.

                      I suggest having a talk with him on how you are with him having female friends, and what you would like with you having male friends; if any at all. There's obviously worry about jealousy here, so it needs to be addressed.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Element View Post
                        The co-worker likes you, and your boyfriend sees this and is afraid of losing you, of you losing interest in him.

                        I suggest having a talk with him on how you are with him having female friends, and what you would like with you having male friends; if any at all. There's obviously worry about jealousy here, so it needs to be addressed.
                        sometimes i can get alil jealous with girls because i know how other girls can be. My boyfriend had a girl he was friends with before we met, that he used to hang out as friends. The girl was jealous when he started dating me, and she liked my boyfriend, but he had her in the friendzone. I felt uncofortable with her, and let my boyfriend know... He stopped talking to her for me and gave up that friendship.

                        Comment


                        • If he gave up a friend because you felt uneasy, why wouldn't you give up on a guy wanting to hang out with you for your bf? Things work both ways, don't they?
                          I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                          ...
                          Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                          From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by jns View Post
                            If he gave up a friend because you felt uneasy, why wouldn't you give up on a guy wanting to hang out with you for your bf? Things work both ways, don't they?
                            This is true.. however im not going to hang out with this person, nor did i really feel interested in hanging out with. i was just trying to be nice and be friends with him and give him my number since he gave me his. I didnt mean to upset my bf.

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by amandaxoxo View Post
                              sometimes i can get alil jealous with girls because i know how other girls can be…I felt uncofortable with her, and let my boyfriend know... He stopped talking to her for me and gave up that friendship…i was just trying to be nice and be friends with him
                              Yes, because we all know how virtuous men are. If women and men both had the capacity to craftily sneak into someone's life and charm them from their mate, then this would be a double standard. But since girls are…well you know how they can be (except you, of course), this is ok.
                              "Those sowing seed with tears
                              Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

                              Comment

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