[carrsa]

Hi all

Here's my story & i'll try and keep it short (but i do love to chitter chatter hehe)

Im 22 (23 in a week!) and have been with my boyfriend (same age) 4 months last monday (1st proper serious relationship, 2nd boy ive ever kissed, both no sex before marriage too (we are very religious hehe)

As im new to all of this (and very self-conscious etc) i dont know what to expect really so was wondering if you can let me know if this is normal...

when we are together its absaloutly amazing we get on like a house on fire, have met each others families (before we actually got together) and fit in perfectly...everything is brilliant and on Monday just gone he told me he loved me which i was over the moon with and promptly said it back!! Everything so far has been so easy, lovely and we've had 'disagreements' but talked them through rather than arguing so cant say we've argued either!

....aaaaanyway....what i want to know is, why, when he leaves i feel so sad!? like nothing is worth doing?? i mean shouldnt i be walking on clouds right now? he knows i feel this way, and he feels the same! ive been doing some thinking and have thought maybe im too needy/clingy/after attention?

we do text & call but not constantly because we see each other very regulary! but honestly i got loads of things done today but was almost in tears the whole day!? i feel better now, but only becuase ive spoken to him and he told me he missed me and i miss him too, very much!

But as i am all inexperienced, some advice on whats normal would be great! i feel like a 12 year old, but all the comments ive read on here so far have been very supportive so thanking you in advance xxx

[littlekitkat]

Hi carrsa!

I'm new to the whole relationship thing as well (first boyfriend as well...and I'm even a little older then you...got kind of a late start!) so I can't offer advice on what's "normal" or not, but I can tell you that I too feel blue whenever he goes away. He works in media and works VERY odd hours, so it can be difficult to see him when the sun is up. Makes things a little tough! I think you've been healthy to talk about your feeling blue with your own boyfriend.

The only advice I can offer is what I've begun doing whenever I feel upset or a little anxious that he's gone: I've started upping my own activities. I've continued hanging out with my girlfriends, taken swimming lessons and continued with my creative writing classes. I've gone on a lot of job interviews as well. In other words, I've continued to work on myself and my own life too. Make sure--no matter how much you love your boyfriend--that you also have your own life, joys, hobbies and interests, even if you don't feel like going out. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. I've begun feeling better once I've done this. Not only do I feel like the time goes much faster, but I'm really enjoying myself! Plus, I get to tell my boyfriend all the fun things I've done. He enjoys my stories of the day.

Being in a new relationship can be very exciting, but it's a little scary too isn't it? Good luck! You sound like you're doing great.

[carrsa]

thanks so much littlekitkat!!

thats great to hear your story and i think you are completley right!!! when i have plans or things to focus on (other than just him if ive nothing else to do) i have a fantastic day and cant wait to tell him about it! so i wont get too worried im so glad im not the only one! thanks so much and good luck to you too!!!

[littlekitkat]

No problem! I'm glad you feel relieved! (I know I feel better!) Good luck and enjoy him!

[jns]

When you are in love and together your brain releases chemicals that cause bonding and chemicals that cause euphoria. When you are apart, those chemicals don't get released, causing withdrawal symptoms. Drive yourself to do something and to keep busy. The harder you drive yourself, the more you will lessen the symptoms but you will not get rid of them altogether. You will become very productive. Give yourself breaks to get the emotions out, then get back to work.