[Tigress]

There's a guy who I know and I love him. I think about him almost every day and about us being together. I haven't seen him in such a long, long time, but I still love him. I don't want to be with anyone else, I just want to be with him. No matter how attractive guys I meet, they're not him.

I THINK he loves me as well. It would explain why he keeps trying to talk to me and get in contact with me even after all these years. However, my heart hurts so bad.

He's said some really horrible things to me and then he's done some really sweet things toward me. He says he loves me and he DOES show it in action, but what has me doubting him is he told me one time he didn't love me.

He hasn't said that since and what I did notice was he said that around a certain group that doesn't like me and likes to party and etc.

My worst fear is if this is all a game and I'm just a trophy to him. He'll sleep with me and then start laughing and bragging to his friends about his new trophy.

My mind believes he loves me and he does show it with his actions. My heart is numb, cold, and hurt. I am beginning to believe that men do not have hearts.

Sometimes when I think of him, I feel loved and other times I'm in so much pain.

If or when I see him again, should I tell him "no" that I don't want to be with him or should I give him a chance?

[Hugo-B]

The easiest way to evaluate a person's words is by asking, and objectively assessing whether or not their ACTIONS are consistent with their WORDS. Talk is cheap, and BS runs the marathon. If his actions are consistent in turning talk into reality then he means business. We all say say things we don't mean in the heat of the moment and words can hurt just as much as actions, I think one thoughtless and vitriolic comment (from the person you love) can do just as much damage to a person's self esteem and subsequently their relationship as as a clenched fist.

He sounds quite childish if he's ignoring you when he's in front of friends, that kind of behavior certainly isn't consistent with the words, 'I love you'.

If you must continue to be involved with him under no circumstances allow him to pressure or manipulate you into sex with him. Don't be afraid to get a bit feisty with him and stand up to him, telling him when he's annoyed you either.

In short he sounds like an immature prick who may or may not be aware how badly he's hurt you and likely isn't too concerned either. If I had to guess I'd say you're both pretty young and in high school? He's quite a cool, popular bad boy type, probably good at sport and gets quite a lot of female attention? If he wants you as his 'trophy' then don't beat yourself up too hard, you're likely pretty too, and shouldn't have to put up with this ****. This mess sounds like it's given your self esteem a beating too, so remember to remember you don't have to feel like this or put up with his BS.

If you have to give him another chance then judge him purely on his actions and don't be afraid to give him his marching orders if he deviates from what you consider to be acceptable conduct.

[Tigress]

The easiest way to evaluate a person's words is by asking, and objectively assessing whether or not their ACTIONS are consistent with their WORDS. Talk is cheap, and BS runs the marathon. If his actions are consistent in turning talk into reality then he means business. We all say say things we don't mean in the heat of the moment and words can hurt just as much as actions, I think one thoughtless and vitriolic comment (from the person you love) can do just as much damage to a person's self esteem and subsequently their relationship as as a clenched fist.

He sounds quite childish if he's ignoring you when he's in front of friends, that kind of behavior certainly isn't consistent with the words, 'I love you'.

That's the thing, his actions show it but sometimes his words don't. He is not ignoring me around his friends, but he tends to act different around a certain group.

[Hugo-B]

You mean his words do but sometimes his actions don't? Either way if there are inconsistencies he's not doing you any favors.

TBH most young men will act like tools around their friends, I'm not saying this is a justification, but it is an explanation and isn't that unusual. You might need to hang around for a while though if you want to wait for him to grow up.

Does this 'certain group' consist primarily, or perhaps exclusively of single boys in the midst of puberty by any chance?

[Tigress]

You mean his words do but sometimes his actions don't? Either way if there are inconsistencies he's not doing you any favors.

TBH most young men will act like tools around their friends, I'm not saying this is a justification, but it is an explanation and isn't that unusual. You might need to hang around for a while though if you want to wait for him to grow up.

Does this 'certain group' consist primarily, or perhaps exclusively of single boys in the midst of puberty by any chance?

No, these men are in their early to mid 20's. I am in my early 20's.

Where are you getting the he's not showing in actions?

Do you still think he's a prick?

He has done some really sweet things, the only inconsistency is his words.

One of his friends told me he cries a lot about me. I've seen him crying before, but I was so hurt as well.