[Erin388]

Hi. I'm really confused and I'm hoping ppl with more experience then me could help.
I've never had a boyfriend before but always wanted one. I've gotten to college and met a really cool fun guy who asked me out recently. It's been really great but he smokes weed. I didn't think I minded; I didnt mind as friends. Now though, I hate it when he's high and the big sparkly eyes I love are all zoned out and red. I have no room to talk, though, because, as a hyper competitive athlete, I get that way too after a exhausting workout. Plus, I already said I was cool with it. Still, I'm not liking his habit more and more. When we're together I'm always really happy to have a boyfriend but when he leaves and I'm left to myself I start freaking out and wishing we were still just friends. To makes things worse, we've just started going out and we're in the same dorm. Breaking up would be SO awkward after such a short time!
To make matters worse, there's another guy in the dorm I REALLY like. I figure he'll never go out with me but STILL, a girl can't help but daydream! That makes the current weed smoking bf look even worse esp. when he's high. I feel like I've made a terrible mistake with him sometimes, but other times it's just awesome. Like I said he is really fun and cool!
Please advise. I've never had to think about any of this stuff before!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi Erin,

I think you have to be assertive, sheez we all get carried away with the idea of "boyfriend" and then realise we are not in-love, it was the love of the idea.

No where did you say love, you said fun

The fact that you are still on the prowl also for that "boyfriend" means you are ready, but you have to take out the will and desire for a "boyfriend" and replace it with "the person" when he comes along...

This guy was really just a friend and he's not the one, but that's ok, just tell it how it is... He's fun.. But, that's not all you are after .

CW

[Little]

If I read right, you're in the first semester of college. This is a confusing time. There are a lot of brand-new men out there to sample! Your "boyfriend" (couldn't tell from the post if it was official or not) probably feels the same way about women.

So, if you want to keep it casual and still pursue other men romantically, do it. It doesn't have to be about his pot use, and maybe deep down it's not. We often search for things to nitpick when we don't want to be in a relationship.

Last thing, there doesn't have to be anything "wrong" with a man to stop seeing him. Simple incompatibility will do. And as you go on having boyfriends, you'll find plenty of perfectly good men who just aren't for YOU.