[Branwen]

hi!

I've decided to share this with you and see if you can help me here. I've dated this guy since September 15th...and last weekend we discussed for the first time whether i am considering becoming a mother at my age...the guy would like to have a child in the future, but the issues here as I explained to him is that I'm already 43 almost 44 years old, never been a mother and so he asked me whether i considered having my eggs frozen for the future...i told him that i would ask my gynecologist and my health care to seek possibilities...well today I feel an old woman already...besides my birthday is coming soon...so he pushed the button and made me feel old already...and so where is this relationship heading into now? if we are not sure if I can become a mother? and if I'm not sure that I want him to be the father...besides he doesn't wish to get married ...only live as a partners...considering i've just gotten my divorced signed recently I'm not rushing into marriage right now...but what are the pros and cons in the long run? I'm beginning to feel that we 're not into each other and that we have to talk about all this again and see if we continue...
plus, i'm ****ed at his being later on saturday nights...he goes swimming first, does his stuff, and by the time he ends and is ready to leave to see me he arrives at 11pm...well, may be i should not complaint since he devotes saturday night and practically all Sunday to me! what do you think? many thanks!!

[KMonte85]

This has red flags all over it to me. You've been dating this guy for a only a little over a month, and he's already pressuring you into freezing your eggs?? And without any legal commitment to you? Even just taking out the emotional aspect of this situation - do you (or does he) understand how physically taxing this can be? and EXPENSIVE... thousands upon thousands of dollars (at least in the USA that is the case...)

So here are my thoughts: this guy needs to take a hike. He seems to be looking at you as only a potential baby-maker for him. If he truly cared, he wouldn't be pressuring you into anything, and especially not this early in your relationship. There is nothing wrong with someone telling their partner they want to have children some day, there **IS** something wrong with them being so avid about it that they pressure their girlfriend of less than 2 months into freezing her eggs because she's on the later edge of her child bearing years.

[danceintx]

I absolutely agree with Kmonte, I would never talk about these things with someone I had been dating less than 2 months. I also, read nothing about emotions within this relationship. It sounds more like reading about a business transaction.

[Branwen]

well...the business is for HIM since he won't have to pay any treatment...he suggested that since I'm starting a new job soon I will have the money to pay for this treatment...clearly it is my fault and my problem then...not his...he wants everything served on a tray...

[KMonte85]

well...the business is for HIM since he won't have to pay any treatment...he suggested that since I'm starting a new job soon I will have the money to pay for this treatment...clearly it is my fault and my problem then...not his...he wants everything served on a tray...

Oh my goodness! Why are you still with this loon???

[danceintx]

If a guy started wanting me to freeze my eggs after seeing me for 6 weeks I would RUN, not walk for the hills.

[Branwen]

well...i told him how i felt and he denied telling anything to hurt me or make me feel bad, he stood by his own word and insisted that he simply asked me if I would ever consider freezing my eggs for my well being and for my own future's sake...so feeling bad or misunderstanding was MY problem not HIS...again...absence of responsibility...typical of a man who does not want any legal ties or commitment right? by the way I caught him on the dating site where he met today...i just had a profile without any picture or description just a spy profile and so when i questioned him about why he is now on the site he simply replied: for the same reason you are on the site...and he believes that I am in the same situation as his without picture or description or anything...so i simply ended up the chat conversation saying : Good luck with your new girl hope you find someone better than me...goodbye!

[danceintx]

well...i told him how i felt and he denied telling anything to hurt me or make me feel bad, he stood by his own word and insisted that he simply asked me if I would ever consider freezing my eggs for my well being and for my own future's sake...so feeling bad or misunderstanding was MY problem not HIS...again...absence of responsibility...typical of a man who does not want any legal ties or commitment right? by the way I caught him on the dating site where he met today...i just had a profile without any picture or description just a spy profile and so when i questioned him about why he is now on the site he simply replied: for the same reason you are on the site...and he believes that I am in the same situation as his without picture or description or anything...so i simply ended up the chat conversation saying : Good luck with your new girl hope you find someone better than me...goodbye!

Good for you, sounds like the right decision.