[CHANDLERS WISH]

Isn't it grrr being a woman

If a man can touch us sensually and allow us to be vulnerable, our emotions automatically kick in, whereby, as usual, it takes a lot more for a man to fall in love with a woman

IDK, the dreams could be realllllly good BD

[Ashlee T.]

So this weekend was an odd one. When I'm going "out" there is really only one place I go because I live in a college town but don't care for the college student scene. The bar I frequent is "his" mother's bar. I've gone there for years. Anyhow, I met up with some friends there Friday. He was bartending for her. He acted fine around me. Not overly friendly or anything, but not rude. I didn't pay him much mind since I was busy with friends...but was reasonably friendly with him. The next night some friends and I met up there again. I knew that if he had worked the night before, he wouldn't likely be working that night as well and he wasn't. But towards the end of the night he and one of his friends showed up. I didn't really acknowledge him or anything, just went on about my business. But he LITERALLY hid from me. He went into the back and would not come out. I wasn't even trying to talk to him, trying to be around him, or anything. His friend came out and started talking to me and could then tell that I was upset. He said he didn't know why he was acting that way. I was so embarrassed and so angry for him to treat me that way. So when I left, I sent him a text that said "You're supposed to be my friend. Eff (except I used a naughtier word) you for treating me like a piece of trash." He didn't respond and I haven't heard from him since. I got home that night and felt two foot tall. Used. Taken advantage of. Hurt. Angry. Embarrassed.

Sometimes I think there are no real answers for things. I mean, there's no reason good "enough" for him to treat me like he has. I still check my phone every morning to see if he has messaged me... and each time he hasn't, it hurts. But it has and will continue to get a little better with time. I hate that I feel like I lost a friend...but clearly he wasn't much of one to begin with.

So....let the healing begin.

[Harmony]

The problem with being a man - especially a young man, and we all know what they think of most of the time - is that when they get an opportunity to have sex with a woman, especially a hot one, it can be difficult to turn down. It's much, much easier when you're in a happy relationship, but most difficult when your single and horny. Even if you know a friendship could be ruined or problems can arise, it's easier to go forth and sin. And even harder not to go back and do it again if the sex is G-O-O-D.

This guy probably ran away when he realized he was entering 'relationship' territory. I'm sorry to say that, and it isn't a criticism towards the OP, it's just how some men's minds work I'm afraid. He knew he'd done wrong, hence the hiding and wasn't brave or mature enough to face up to an adult confrontation. This guy is probably just a young, horny commitment-phoebe who didn't/couldn't exercise the judgement and/or decency to break things of sooner or manage the OP's expectations.

I'm sure you'll find better, and a taste of the sour only makes the sweet taste sweeter...

[Ashlee T.]

The problem with being a man - especially a young man, and we all know what they think of most of the time - is that when they get an opportunity to have sex with a woman, especially a hot one, it can be difficult to turn down. It's easier when you're in a happy relationship, but most difficult when you're single and horny. Even if you know a friendship could be ruined or problems can arise, it's easier to go forth and sin. And even harder not to do again if the sex is G-O-O-D.

This guy probably ran away when he realized he was entering 'relationship' territory. I'm sorry to say that, and it isn't a criticism towards the OP, it's just how some men's minds work I'm afraid. He knew he'd done wrong, hence the hiding and wasn't brave or mature enough to face up to an adult confrontation. This guy is probably just a young, horny commitment-phoebe who didn't/couldn't exercise the judgement and/or decency to break things of sooner or manage the OP's expectations.

I'm sure you'll find better, and a taste of the sour only makes the sweet taste sweeter...

I think you're exactly right. I thought he knew me well enough to know that as busy as I am, a "commitment" isn't what I'm looking for in terms of "oh we have to be together all the time, call me every day, do everything together" type of thing. I think he, for whatever reason, lost interest in me and rather than being an adult and just saying "I'm just not feeling this anymore...let's go back to being just friends" (which I would've been TOTALLY cool with), he acted like a high school aged boy. It's confusing when someone treats you that way, as an adult...we just expect more. I do hate to lose the friendship I at least thought we had. But, whatever his reasoning is for doing me this way, is good enough reason for me to stay away. I'm not sure why I expected him to act anything other than a teenage boy, when he pretty much lives the life of one. **sigh**

You're wise in your assessment. Indeed.

[Ashlee T.]

One thing that would make me feel better FOR SURE is if Aunt Flow would come on and show up. COME ON AUNT FLOW!!! (Everyone do a AF dance for me okay? )

[Harmony]

OP/BD, have you tried internet dating?

[Ashlee T.]

OP/BD, have you tried internet dating?

No. And honestly, I don't intend to. I won't knock it for those that are interested, but for me I just cannot imagine it being something I'd be into. Too staged. I'm more attracted to things that just happen. You know...by chance.

[Harmony]

I know exactly what you mean. There are plenty of good guys around, they just seem to be hidden behind the problematic types of men...

I'm sure fate will run its course in the near future