[Ram2351]

Hello to all, I was in a 7 year relationsihp with my ex, we where engaged but we start fighting to much and the engagedment was broken. We were in this fight of breaking up and coming back for a year, we broke because she said I was distance and stopped caring about her (same story that happens to all of us), she was always complaining that she want to be engaed again, and I said no because we first need to work the things out, and that was the main cause of the fighting. but now I want her back and I want to marry her but shes dating somebody now, Im so sad because I want her and I was so stupid to acklodege this now. The thing is that she is always looking for me I tried to step away but she text me and says that she knows that Im the man of his life , but she needs time to get over all the things that happed when we broke the engagement, but she still talking to this guy. What I want is marry her I dont care if she date the guy I just want her. but I dont know why shes behaving like that, when shes always looking for me and saying that im the guy of his life. Hope you can help me. thanks.

[Stillness]

but I dont know why shes behaving like that, when shes always looking for me and saying that im the guy of his life.

She wanted more attention than you were giving her. Now she has your attention + another man's. When you do the math it makes sense. Unfortunately, she's stringing you along in the process. I'm not saying it's her intention to toy with your emotions because you did the same thing to her when she wanted to be re-engaged. I'm sure you didn't mean to hurt her. You just wanted to resolve the issues. You say her pressure caused more fighting and issues.

So, what would you have wanted from her when she was pressing for the engagement and you wanted to work through the problems? To be allowed time to work through things? If so, give it to her. Step back, give her space, and let her do her thing. You can't make her marry you. Crowding her is only going to push her away. It's also going to reduce her respect for you. It's hard, but be strong! Get out. Maybe even consider dating other women. If you broaden your horizons you may even find out that the reason you all have so many issues is that you two are not well suited for each other. It's an ugly thought, but even though she's saying you're the one, she may not be so sure. I mean, come on dude, she's in another man's arms, not yours. Be realistic. You may never get her back. If you do, then you can receive her with dignity and not from a position of weakness.

I wish you well.

[Ram2351]

Thanks for the reply, honestly I thinks shes in a rebound relationship, and now that she knows that im hanging around againg and going out with another people, she is always saying "wow, you are now going to clubs again, my god how you have changed" or " wow your going to the movies on weedays, you have changed" and things like that and I know her, I know that the fact im doing things by myself right now , I think its bothering her. You are right im gonna step back live my life but still be around. I dont care if shes with this guy, and you know that this guy did, he took her phone and chat me on whattaspp saying that dont ever talk to her anymore, obviosuly I told him to ********k off and I sent the conversation to her and she foght with the guy for this and then she call me to say sorry for the inconvenience. But well Im gonna step back and dont pressure her but....I will be around, I love her and now that I made some mistakes , now that I know that I failed I cannot loose her (well I lost her already) but you know what I mean.

[Ashlee T.]

Loving her is important. But, her loving you back is equally as important. If you truly love this gal, then have a little faith in that love and know that if she truly loves you back, the opportunity will present itself for you two to work things out. It would be best analyzed when she's single...as the jealousy of her being with someone else may be contributing to what you're considering to be feelings of intense love.

It is also important to learn in this life, as adults, we do not always get second chances. Someone should have to break up with you and get with someone else for you to determine your love for them, or your willingness to show it.