For those of you I have spoken with before, yes I’m back again. Same old sob story. Same old nothing having been done. I know, trust me
For those I haven’t spoken with, here’s the rundown….
I have been with my man for 8 years. I am 30 and he is 47.
At the beginning of our relationship things were wonderful – one of the things that attracted me to him the most was that he didn’t act his age (in a good way!).
As the years have gone on he has started to slow down a bit… in terms of going out for big drinks nights with friends he’s decided he is “over it” and “sick of being hungover”, so I go to most things alone. He seems antisocial and doesn’t want to do much at all these days. Anything I suggest to him always comes with a problem – “it’s too far”, “it’s too much”, “it’s too hot” etc etc…
He is very overweight and despite promises to lose the weight, has never done so. I have of course tried to help him but I am called a “nag” and told that he’ll do it in his own time… this results in me spending days at the beach alone because he is too self conscious about his body. As lovely a person as he is this also means my physical attraction to him is waning. We haven’t had sex in over a year.
When he was younger he spent money like it grew on trees – on motorbikes, nights out, holidays… then when he reached his mid 30’s he started to panic that he was the only one of his friends who didn’t own his own home, and so he began saving. I met him shortly after this.
I am passionate about travelling whereas he doesn’t seem to share the same passion. By the time I was 30 I thought I would have travelled the world 3 times over. Even lived in another country for a year or so! But of course it hasn’t happened, and because he is so desperate to save for a home he’s very tight with his money. Our money.
While I’m aware owning a home is important, I want to travel more. I want more adventure.
I often feel like his daughter rather than his partner – he used to comment on things I’d wear, sometimes telling me that it is disrespectful to him if e.g. I wear something with low cleavage on it, like some 20 something young girls do. He doesn’t do it so much nowadays but it still happens.
I don’t know what to do. Despite all this I have never been treated better by a man in my life. He absolutely adores me and I love spending time with him too. But I feel like I’m wasting the best years of my life…
I asked this question on another website and was called self centred… am I wrong to want to do what makes me happy in life? Isn’t the saying “a wasted life is the saddest form of suicide”?
I was also asked “what did you expect?”. I was 21, not even 22 and fell for an older man who was wise and funny after years of dealing with BOYS… a man who didn’t act his age and seemed - clearly naively thought by me - like he would be young forever. I don’t know what they want from me.
For those I haven’t spoken with, here’s the rundown….
I have been with my man for 8 years. I am 30 and he is 47.
At the beginning of our relationship things were wonderful – one of the things that attracted me to him the most was that he didn’t act his age (in a good way!).
As the years have gone on he has started to slow down a bit… in terms of going out for big drinks nights with friends he’s decided he is “over it” and “sick of being hungover”, so I go to most things alone. He seems antisocial and doesn’t want to do much at all these days. Anything I suggest to him always comes with a problem – “it’s too far”, “it’s too much”, “it’s too hot” etc etc…
He is very overweight and despite promises to lose the weight, has never done so. I have of course tried to help him but I am called a “nag” and told that he’ll do it in his own time… this results in me spending days at the beach alone because he is too self conscious about his body. As lovely a person as he is this also means my physical attraction to him is waning. We haven’t had sex in over a year.
When he was younger he spent money like it grew on trees – on motorbikes, nights out, holidays… then when he reached his mid 30’s he started to panic that he was the only one of his friends who didn’t own his own home, and so he began saving. I met him shortly after this.
I am passionate about travelling whereas he doesn’t seem to share the same passion. By the time I was 30 I thought I would have travelled the world 3 times over. Even lived in another country for a year or so! But of course it hasn’t happened, and because he is so desperate to save for a home he’s very tight with his money. Our money.
While I’m aware owning a home is important, I want to travel more. I want more adventure.
I often feel like his daughter rather than his partner – he used to comment on things I’d wear, sometimes telling me that it is disrespectful to him if e.g. I wear something with low cleavage on it, like some 20 something young girls do. He doesn’t do it so much nowadays but it still happens.
I don’t know what to do. Despite all this I have never been treated better by a man in my life. He absolutely adores me and I love spending time with him too. But I feel like I’m wasting the best years of my life…
I asked this question on another website and was called self centred… am I wrong to want to do what makes me happy in life? Isn’t the saying “a wasted life is the saddest form of suicide”?
I was also asked “what did you expect?”. I was 21, not even 22 and fell for an older man who was wise and funny after years of dealing with BOYS… a man who didn’t act his age and seemed - clearly naively thought by me - like he would be young forever. I don’t know what they want from me.
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