[Starsintheskyy--x]

I have been dating this one guy for almost two years. When I first began dating him, I had very little trust issues, I wouldn't get bothered if he was talking to or about another girl(To a resonable extent) Hell, at one point, I agreed with him that a girl we both knew looked hot. Until then we had only seen her in sports wear, and she was dressed up for a concert. And I wasn't bothered. A few months ago though, he had left his facebook open, and I went on it to log off. However, he was on messages and something caught my eye.
Now please, don't take this the wrong way. I don't think its right for anyone to look at private messages between people other then themselves, but I'm also willing to admit I'm nosy. And so, for the first time I looked through another pesons messages, his. I'll admit that was wrong and sneaky, and I shouldn't have done it. But when I see a message, "Maybe someday, if its fate we will end up together, but right now you have a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend".. Sent from a chick to my Boyfriend, I felt like i needed to know what was going on.
I looked through the messages, and what i read really shook me. There were messages to and from this girl and my boyfriend for the past few months, most not sexual(I didn't mention earlier, I do know this girl as well, were good friends actually.) but there were messages from my boyfriend to her, starting from a few months into when we started dating, talking about how "He held both love and lust for her" and recalling to her the various time they had cuddled, and once slept together(Not sex, just sleep). This was in the time period he was dating me, and yet here he was declaring his love and Lust for gods sake for another girl.
I actually did talk to him about this.. a few times sense then. I've never gotton a real answer, only assurances that he's dating me, but never a denial or any explination.
I had put it in the past, he was after all dating me not her. And I trust him. Just earlier today though, i found (Not a message) but publically on tumbler, a photo of another girl that he shared (Ironically, the same girl i talked of earlier, who we both agreed had looked very nice....) and wrote all about how he still remembers how he "felt about her" and "though its a small chance I hope she see's this" and such.... All about his feeling for this girl.

Please tell me, Am i wrong to be upset? Is this a normal thing to happen? Or am i just not enough...

[kittehs]

If he's been with other girls when he said he was only dating you, that is no fault of yours and it's probably time to move on before he hurts you even more. It's so tempting for people to cheat these days with all the Facebook stuff. He will probably continue to chat/flirt with other girls behind your back. You deserve to date someone who wants to be with you exclusively and who you can trust.

[Pollon]

It sounds like it's time for another discussion with him. The first thing you might do is ask him is why he chooses to stay with you if he has such strong feelings for others. Hopefully his answers will be reassuring. Assuming you are both still very young (under 25), your feelings can be somewhat "loose" and indiscriminate. Can you say that you really haven't had any "feelings" for others while dating him? You just may be smart enough to know they are passing things and, thus, keep them to yourself.

The second thing you might do is tell him that his on-line flirting, emoting, etc, is disrespectful to you, your feelings and your relationship. It undermines and jeopardizes the relationship. If he wants to stay together, then it has to stop. Maybe give him a lockable journal to help him process his feelings.

If his responses to your discussion aren't satisfactory, it may be time to move on.