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I'm obsessed with a girl my boyfriend used to like!!HELP!!

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  • I'm obsessed with a girl my boyfriend used to like!!HELP!!

    Ive been dating this guy for about 2 years now. We met online and we met eachother and basically fell in love. We have an insanely healthy relationship. Im so happy to be in it. Usually the only thing that gets in between us is my very low self esteem. When i was first getting to know him he would always talk about this girl named Megan. he made it obvious that he liked her and one time i told him that i didnt like it when he talked about her. after i said that to him he messed up a little bit and told me that he thinks shes cute but they are just friends. ever since then ive been stalking her non stop. For 2 years! ill go through phases where i will look at her profile a couple of times a week and then other phases where ill be looking at her profile almost every hour just looking through her pictures. I made a different facebook account and added her so i could see all her photos. I think she is so pretty. Sometimes i sit there and wish i was her and that i had her life! Im killing myself inside. I cant stop. My boyfriend hasnt mentioned her AT All yet i still feel like he likes her. Since he lives so far away its not like I go to school with him and see how he acts around her or other people. I cant bring myself to delete the account. Im so curious to see whats going on with her everyday or what photos shes been tagged in etc. i save her pictures on my desktop and zoom in on them just to get a closer look at what she looks like. If theres a picture of her where i can see what clothing she is wearing ill go on google and try to find that piece of clothing. I want her hair, i want her clothes, i want her body....Whenever i see she dyes her hair a different color, i want my hair to be that color. When i zoom in on her face I look closly at her eyebrows so i can try to get the same shape as her eyebrows!!! Im so pathetic!! Im trying to become her but i cant! whenever i look at myself in the mirror i wish i looked like her. i know that this isnt my boyfriends fault. he has never sat there and talked about her for an extended amount of time. Im just insanely insecure. Im bulimic and looking at megans photos all the time sometimes triggers me. im miserable. lately ive just been looking at her photos non stop. Please, if theres ANY advice you can give me id really appreciate. i feel like i need to take very very small baby steps to stop this. i just dont know any steps.. HELP!!!!!!

  • I think you may want to consider counseling, now! You need help to overcome bulimia and low self-esteem. Stalking a person, in any form, is not healthy. Why are you so down on yourself?? Your boyfriend obviously see qualities in you that he likes. People come in all shapes, sizes, personalities, characteristic, etc. You need to find what is unique and sets yourself apart from others and embrace those qualities rather than trying to become someone else. Learn to love yourself. You may find that you have much more to offer when you stop obsessing about wanting to change who you are

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    • I used to go to therapy and i loved it. it was helping me out tons but there was family drama and my father took me out and wont pay for it. im old enough to go its just i dont have the money to, and im not comfortable telling my dad all this just so that way i can get back into therapy. Im struggling with this quite a lot and therapy really isnt an option but thank you for your kind words:3 it meant a lot and made me think a little

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      • I'm afraid I agree with Euphoric. This sort of obsessive behavior probably isn't something that advice over the internet can fix. You want your behavior to change, but can't manage to change it - I think counseling is the only reasonable solution. Have you checked if therapy is covered by your insurance?

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        • Counseling is absolutely necessary. Try telling your father you are afraid you have an eating disorder and need help. You don't have to give him all the details.

          Good luck

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          • kat,

            Have you looked into goverment assisted programs? I'm not sure where you live, but often there are programs in place to help people who need counseling without a means to financially afford it. Perhaps you can call the local health department and explain your financial status and ask if they can point you in the right direction for assistance.

            You don't have to answer if you are uncomfortable, but how old are you? I am curious if peer pressure is an issue...
            What has happened to cause you to have a low opinion of yourself?

            Don't think a little, think a lot. You are special in your own unique way. It takes all types of people to make the world go round.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Euphoric View Post
              kat,

              Have you looked into goverment assisted programs? I'm not sure where you live, but often there are programs in place to help people who need counseling without a means to financially afford it. Perhaps you can call the local health department and explain your financial status and ask if they can point you in the right direction for assistance.

              You don't have to answer if you are uncomfortable, but how old are you? I am curious if peer pressure is an issue...
              What has happened to cause you to have a low opinion of yourself?

              Don't think a little, think a lot. You are special in your own unique way. It takes all types of people to make the world go round.
              I am 16 years old. I take online courses because I am trying to graduate early. Ive never gotten along with my father. My parents are divorced and i havent talked to my mom in years. I feel like my confidence has plummeted down ever since ive been online schooled. I never work out and Im basically in the house all day. I know that when i go on walks or work out I feel so much better about myself, but im i cant even bring myself to do it because I feel like ill never be happy about myself. I created this blog because I needed to get that off my chest. Therapy isnt an option anymore for me so this is kinda my last resort.

              Comment


              • I take online courses because I am trying to graduate early. I feel like my confidence has plummeted down ever since ive been online schooled. I never work out and Im basically in the house all day.
                Maybe you are stalking this girl and wish you had her life because you feel isolated. Do you take online classes in addition to traditional schooling, or strictly online schooled? Why are you trying to graduate early? Do you plan to attend college? From what I have gather so far, it seems like you are confined to the limitations of home.

                Therapy isnt an option anymore for me so this is kinda my last resort.
                Members on this forum are wonderful people to offer support and an ear, but we can only offer advice. That being said, sometimes we just need an outsiders perspective to help guide us to a place of solace, without fear of judgement, which is what it seems like you are looking for. If services were available to you, would you still not be able to use them - (no transportation)?

                I know that when i go on walks or work out I feel so much better about myself, but im i cant even bring myself to do it because I feel like ill never be happy about myself.
                You can't expect things to change if you are not willing to try. I know that it may seem hopeless sometimes, but if taking a walk makes you feel better, you should incorportate that into your life, daily if possible. You said you wanted to take baby steps to change your life. Well, walking is a form of uplifting your spirits and only requires you to commit to doing it. I believe that you can and will take steps to improve your life or you wouldn't be seeking help. Still, I would encourage you to look into assistance for counseling because you have reaped benefits from that in the past

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                • I just want to say that I feel what you are feeling. Facebook has made it too easy to look into the lives of other people, in particular people who we want to idolise. You are not alone in this. I have many insecurities... but lately I have been leaving the house and meeting new people. I'm ditching Facebook! I'm beginning to feel so much better about myself. Euphoric makes a good point about being isolated. You will love yourself more by getting out and making new friends. Do something you may not have thought about doing before, something that might be out of your comfort zone. You will get more confidence in who you are...

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                  • I think you need to start on your own, things can turn really bad when There are bad ideas, you need to make things clear in your mind. Think if that guy is the one you like, find out how much you can trust him to be in a long distance relationship. If you can't control or forget that attitude, is better to start again from 0 with a guy that will make you feel plenty and secure.
                    Good luck !

                    Comment

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