[CherryPie22]

My fiance and I have been having some unusual conversations lately. I don't think it's something that a lot of couple's talk about or even consider doing, and I don't know how I feel about it. I get quite jealous when I see my guy looking at other girls, talking about how other girls are good looking... or on the odd occasion I catch him looking at porn.

Anyway, he has made a suggestion and I'm really confused about where I stand with. He wants us to have another person in the relationship.... another girl. Someone to basically have casual sex with.. Not a particular girl, but he wants us to find someone who we like, and who would be up for it. Recently, I've been beginning to feel that I may be bisexual, so this suggestion is something I am considering. My partner and I want our relationship to be completely open and honest. We feel like we will both be the happiest this way. We have never dated other people before, so we still want the freedom to 'experiment'. I'd love to hear people's opinions about this... have you ever done something so strange?

[rcoreyus]

Its a common fantasy, for both genders. Some people go through with it. Of those who do, some really enjoy it, others find it causes all sorts of problems. My feeling is that most people don't have the sort of personality that will let this sort of thing work well, but for those who do, I think it is fine.

If you are are uncomfortable with him looking at porn or other girls, I'd be worried that seeing him having sex with another woman might be difficult.

If you do think about it, be sure you discuss first what you are both expecting and what limits you want to put on interactions.

[Pollon]

If you get jealous over him looking at other women, seeing him really enjoying sex with another girl will be very difficult. It will be particularly so if your sex life isn't rock solid now. I although this is a not uncommon male fantasy, it is potentially devastating to a relationship.

Be careful

[Element]

I've never partaken in threesomes, but my boyfriend has with past women. We talk openly and he told me that they laid down some ground rules before acting. When the sex was done and over with; it ended there. No kissing anyone else, no sleeping with anyone else, nothing. If they wanted another threesome, then they would speak about it. And always speak about what was going down before hand, what everyone is comfortable with, wanting, open to experimenting with.

I personally think that if the couple is open and honest about it all, and truly wanting it, then it can work out. But ground rules are definitely needed. That way there are no "grey areas" and no boundaries are crossed.

But you may want to take some time to think. If you think that you may be bi-sexual, and you are willing to bring someone else into the relationship before even being married, you have a lot of things to sort out before standing in front your family and the state and saying "I Do" to anyone.

[Stillness]

I think it's always destructive, even for people who do it and like it. I'm not speaking from experience. I can see where it might be fun and exciting. I just think that the cost would be higher than the benefit. When you share sexuality with your mate alone it makes for a powerful bond. I know that all sorts of cultures and individuals have done different stuff for all sorts of reasons - i just believe it to be at the expense of that bond. That's aside from potential disease, unwanted pregnancy, jealousy, shame, and guilt.