How to resolve trust issues in a relationship?

[lovexlaugh]

Felt like I was reading my own words from 2 years ago. My ex was EXACTLY the same. I couldnt trust him at all, yet I still loved him. Perhaps you could consider a break from the relationship - a month of no contact. Make up rules, e.g. you're allowed to talk to other girls/guys. At the end of the month, you can either get back together, or you can move on

[nicole_3512]

ect. but the thing that makes me not trust him is i had to find all these out on my owned because
he lies about everything!
I hate living in a realtionship where i cant trust him,
Hes never cheated but lying to me like hes done in the past,
I wouldnt put it past him,

... im not trying to sound mean or like a downer or rude or any of that .. but..
if hes lying about the small things, like porn for example.. then lying about a big thing sounds like something hed do.
and if i read this correctly you wouldnt put it past him meaning that you dont doubt he cheated...
if you cant trust him to tell the truth about being where hes not sopost to and stuff like that then..

what can you trust him with?

[Sunlight72]

^^ +1

Yep. Lying is a way to do what you want to do, but also try and hide it from someone. The only way for him to be honest is for you to be supportive of him doing drugs, watching porn, and having fun when he goes where he's not supposed to be going, or better yet, join him. Your choice.

Please be real about this. See how your relationship is. See how your boyfriend is. Stop wishing it was all different. It's hard, but you have to either accept him or leave him.

Seriously,
Sunlight

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Please someone give me advice I dont want to ruin what we have because I cant get over the past.

I suspect you two are young. Unfortunately, this is his nature, to do things that you would not agree with because you are in a relationship, yet he still wants some freedom to be him. Drugs/Porn for instance.

You have to decide whether you can handle him doing that or not and if not, then you are with the wrong person because it's not past it's past and present and possibly future.

When someone can not be themselves, they hide, lie. If he did these things openly with you, would that make your relationship stronger? Because there are no lies?

Do you think that you would therefore have someone whom could open up and communicate with you more?

Like I said, if this is not what you agree with as a person, then you are with the wrong person..

In every relationship there are things we don't like about the other persons habits, sometimes we compromise but we also ensure they know, not to cross any other boundries.

[xojesse00]

Ive been with my boyfriend for 2 yrs and hes done alot of things to not make me trust him lik
**Doing drugs
**Porn
**Being where hes not suppose to
ect. but the thing that makes me not trust him is i had to find all these out on my owned because
he lies about everything!
I hate living in a realtionship where i cant trust him,
Hes never cheated but lying to me like hes done in the past,
I wouldnt put it past him,
I know he loves me and I love him its just that now I always have to wonder what hes doing where hes
at who he was txting what was in his internet history, ect.
Anyone have any advice to help me i always have anxiety because I dont know if hes lying,
and even if he tells the truth like oh im just at my dads, I think hes lying and i accuse him and it starts an
arguement.
Please someone give me advice I dont want to ruin what we have because I cant get over the past.