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  • angel_90
    Junior Member
    • Jan 2013
    • 1

    Seeing New Boyfriend Way Too Much

    I started seeing this a man one week ago and I think he's great. Caring, sweet, interesting and we have great chemistry. There's just one problem. He wants to spend WAY too much time together. For starters, we work together so I see him every workday (although we work in different divisions, so we only really see each other in passing a few times a day) and even then, he texts me several times a day. But then in this first week alone, we've been out together 5 times. And I'm not just talking a quiet lunch in the park either, all of our dates have been several hours and there have been a few late nights too so I'm EXHAUSTED.

    Everything else is just fine with us (in fact,it's great!), so I don't want to end things, but I am going to have a chat with him to talk about spending a bit less time together. Maybe 2 dates a week and mostly in weekends? Do you think I'm being reasonable, or will he think I'm pushing him away?
  • Guest

    OMG...totally reasonable...What you/he have been doing is smothering each other...over the top! I get it, first week of a brand new romance...lots of excitement, etc. but every day for hours on end? yikes!

    Catch your breath...tell him to catch his and that you don't want to ruin a good thing before it even starts...

    S-l-o-w d-o-w-n.

    IF he thinks you're pushing him away, he's either A)too clingy for you, and/or B)not the right guy for you.

    I guess you'll know more after you talk with him.

    Let us know how it goes.

    Comment

    • Little
      • Feb 2007
      • 4329

      It could just be that you want different things from a relationship - you need interaction way less frequently than he does.

      But it could also be nerves, excitement, insecurity, anything really. A second vote for a calm talk over here - you never know until you ask
      <center><i>Nature gives us shapeless shapes,<br>Clouds and waves and flame,<br>But human expectation is that love remains the same,<br>And when it doesn’t, we point our fingers and blame.</i><br><a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/register.php">Register</a>|<a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/members/little.html">Contact Admin</a>|<a href="mailto:support*womens-health.com?subject=Forum Contact">Email Admin</a></center>

      Comment

      • Pollon
        Veteran Member
        • Nov 2012
        • 327

        Of course it is reasonable. You have a life and, hopefully, he has one too. If he doesn't, he's looking for you to give him one. That's too much to be burdened with.

        If he panics when you ask for some space, he's too needy. Run away. If he says, "I'm sorry, I totally understand, I'm just excited. Putting some limits is probably good." He might be a keeper.

        Good luck

        Comment

        • lovexlaugh
          Member
          • Jan 2013
          • 42

          Try planning some dates yourself. At the end of the Wednesday date for example, say, "I've had a great time, would you like to have lunch with me at the park on Saturday?" Take control of the situation

          Comment

          • jns
            Assistant Admin
            • Mar 2010
            • 8398

            In the infatuation stage, wanting to be together all of the time is common. He is infatuated and this is his response. Slow him down a bit so things are comfortable for you.
            I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
            ...
            Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

            From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

            Comment

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