[anonymousbones]

nm...

[Bladyn'smommy16]

Your planning on sleeping with another woman's husband? If that is what you want I'm sorry I can give no help on how to do that I have been the wife and I know how it feels but I'm not trying to be rude but most of the time he will always choose the wife over the mistress

[anonymousbones]

I'm not asking for help on how to go about it. And I certainly don't want him to choose me over his wife. I understand it's just a fling and I don't want him to jeopardize his marriage. His wife is an amazing woman and I don't want to hurt her but at the same time I really want this to happen, and it's already solidly planned between both of us. I've been dreaming of the day since I was 16.

I feel like I'm losing my mind because I never imagined I'd chose to be the other woman, fully aware of the situation and still be willing. I feel guilty, but I know the desire will over-ride any moral hesitance I have because we both want each other, even if its just one night.

I guess I signed up here because I just needed to talk about it...

[Bladyn'smommy16]

Honey it is not worth it in the end you are just going to feel used. And what if the wife finds out? I know you say it's already planned but think about it thoroughly and don't go against your morals

[CHANDLERS WISH]

There is a rebel in alot of us, temptation I bet in all of us, the difference is whether or not we act on them.

Fantasies are real.. At least in our head. Play on our mind over and over and over...

Sure, you can tell yourself, it's his call you are not cheating.

But, you are. You became friends with his wife, entertained her, more than once, twice, three times... If she can not trust you, who is not a stranger, who can she trust? Imagine being a wife of a rock "star" or wants to be... The pain, heartache, knowing probably what is happening but not wanting to acknowledge it, I mean he loves her right?

He does. You are but a pawn in a number of conquests he has had.. Off course, you are, he has planned it... Stayed with you... Knowing one day you will give in, he knew you had a crush.

He's a "rock" star.

Sure you fullfill that. But then you fall for him, yes you will, that is what a crush is... Then you feel neglected, tarty, because that was it, over, no further communication, you will never see him again.. No closure. You will feel like you made the biggest mistake, whilst he says "ah, easy, another one"...

You may "think" you are special, different, but what a cheap thing he is doing... Bringing his wife, to your place, knowing he is going to sleep with you. That's show business for you.

You are NOT the other woman... And, in 6 years of being here, any "other woman" that comes here, is heart broken, in tears, did I not mean anything at all to him, or I only wanted one night, but I feel like he used me... Laughing at me... it goes on.

Fantasies are great, they last a life time... Whilst our morals are in-tact... And we hurt no one.

You will hurt yourself.

You will hurt his wife.

And, if you get angry, you will tell her and you will hurt his marriage.

HURT.

Think about it.

[Bladyn'smommy16]

I agree with chandlers wish, being the other woman will bring you nothing but pain and shame
The man is using you because he knows you like him but he will not leave his wife for you which you don't care about that now but you will care if you let this "planned" activity to happen. The so called "other woman" is always used then when the man is done they go back to their wife and toss you out like trash. Respect yourself don't do it!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Trash.

If only our hormones as women saw that word everytime we thought about "adventure" with the "un-known" or, " un-obtainable"...

I like that word

Meaning OP that often women feel like that after..

I think, the fact you came here, you are fighting with your conscious, you do realise that you befriended the wife, and how she would feel, how "you" would feel if you were her, if she found out and is it from you? I mean a crush on a "rock" star for so long........

Please again, I've helped heal wounded hearts here and they have moved on, don't be another statistic when you have the power...

CW

[Stillness]

I've done things with a married woman, years ago - just one night. Not full on sex, but close enough. It was a fantasy of hers and mine for years. Mine because she was pretty and we had a mostly innocent relationship as kids. Hers because she was in love with me. She told me that she wanted me so badly she didn't care if I raped her. She was going through a divorce, was separated, and her husband was living with another woman. I had broken her heart when we were teenagers, but I was a gentleman about it. We remained friends, but I always knew how she felt.

Then, like an idiot, I took advantage of her feelings for me - a wife, a mother, a friend. I had been noble as a boy, but had become bad as a man. Yes, bad. Because what is a bad person, but someone who does bad things? A good person makes mistakes, but doesn't sneak and plot to do bad. A good person doesn't have sex with someone else's mate. So what that it was on paper. Marriage should be respected. It felt good to be wanted like she wanted me, but a good person doesn't use others. I shouldn't have.

This is one of the few bad things in my life that I wish I could undo. One of those hard-to-look-at-yourself-in-the mirror things. Some mistakes help us grow and build character. Not this. I've had nightmares, cried, and have been depressed over this almost a decade and a half later. What would have built character was to resist temptation. Our families were and still are extremely close. I still see her and have to be reminded of what I did. I look her kids in the eyes and remember how I used their mamma, who loved me and had never been anything but good to me. There's more to it that I'm ashamed to say even anonymously.

My advice is don't. Even if it feels good at the time, you'll either cause heartache for yourself and maybe others, or you'll kill the goodness in you that knows this is wrong and become callous.

[time2discover]

When you intentionally do something when you know it's gonna hurt somebody, whether you like it or
not, deep down inside you know it's wrong.

The world has a way of returning the favor. What you do comes back to you.
Like Stillness said, you'll fulfill your fantasy and then be stuck with the remorse.

Consider one day, you will be in his wife's shoes. That can destroy trust in people around you.

Really consider that your actions will always have consequences good or bad. Make it the good this time!

[Euphoric]

It eventually became clear they did not, and he constantly asked that I don't mention our escalating relationship to mutual friends. For months it didn't bother me because the secrecy just made it all that much more exciting.

I think I'm feeling guilty because it's at the point that I'm having the lie to my best friends, and because his wife is a lovely woman I've met and entertained multiple times.
I keep justifying to myself that I have made no vows, I'm not cheating on anyone. That call is his to make.

I agree with the above responses. Anytime a person asks you to keep your relationship/friendship/communication secretive, it is because it is not okay. By doing so, you are enabling him to cheat on his wife, yet have her. It's called deception. He wants his cake and wants to eat it, too.

You say that you are not cheating, that this is his call to make. Not true. Look at it this way: If you knew your friend was going to rob a bank, and he had planned when and how he was going to do it, then asked you to drive the car - you are part of the plan.
When caught, do you think telling the police that you knew he was going to rob the bank, but you didn't actually go in and demand the money so you aren't guilty - is going to fly?? No. That is called an accomplice, meaning a willing participant. You are a willing participant in this plan of deception. Are you willing to pay the consequences of your actions if you go through with this plan? Whether you are caught or not, there will be consequences. You have the ability to prevent this from happening. Some fantasies are meant to remain that - figments of our imagination. I think you really need to consider the pros and cons and weigh them carefully. You are looking to justify your thoughts and tenative actions, but anything done in the name of deception and placing all the blame on someone else when you are knowledgable about his marital status screams that you have some form of doubt, or you wouldn't be here.