[raindropsugarcane]

I posted here a few months ago regarding an individual I had met online through a dating site. We have been talking through e-mail for almost a year, and over the phone almost nightly since January. He told me he loves me about a month ago. I know I feel very strongly for him. Basically, this last week he found cheap round trip tickets to come and visit me in may. I am a cautious person and was surprised when the prospect of meeting him in person did not scare me in the least, at least not in a negative way. My issue is this: I am very close to my siblings so I decided that since he is visiting that I should tell them about him. I actually called him my "boyfriend". Well they are happy for me. It is when I told him last night that I told my family about him that the problem comes in. It kind of freaked him out, he said it was weird that I told them about him. This confused and upset me and I let him know that. I mean why shouldn't I tell them? It has always been him leading the progression of things--he talks about the possibility of kids, or me moving to where he is in the future. He said "I love you", and he feels pressured and thinks its weird when I tell my family about him? I don't even want him to meet my family yet. He was the one that mentioned that he would "maybe" meet some of my family. I just told my family because its a big deal that he is visiting and someone I know might see him with me around town. I am very confused by his reaction. I feel really stupid. I am not naive, (even though this is my first actual relationship) if this relationship goes any further I know there is a chance it will not be successful. I just don't know why he would have that reaction. And he pretty much told me that he has yet to tell anyone about me. I feel I am in a difficult position. I am questioning his intentions now. would a guy be willing to travel over a thousand miles and spend hundreds at the prospect of having sex with a girl? Was I wrong or mistaken to tell my family about him? I need some perspective on the matter. I hate feeling this way.

[Little]

This guy sounds fishy. Is this the same one who pressures you to send him sexy photos, etc?

Sure, a man would spend hundreds and travel miles to have sex with someone, especially if they will feel extra "accomplished" for having done it. Like he pulled the wool over your eyes. What do you really know about him? Have you googled his name? Checked out his credentials - does he really live where he says? Does he really work where he says? Did he really go to school where he says? Does he have a record?

You should google the term "Catfish." While many people online are okay to interact with, there are some that use the anonymity for BAD. In your shoes, I'd absolutely not meet this man alone, not even in public. Absolutely tell your family about him - and bring one or two of those siblings you mentioned along to meet him!

[Bladyn'smommy16]

In my opinion from what you are saying basically he is embarrassed of you because he met you online.. Despite what he says to you he has never met you and does not know if it will even work out long enough for him to think of you as really his girlfriend.. Because you two do not see each other he does not feel too serious about you.. This is my opinion from the details you have provided..

[Bladyn'smommy16]

Wait I did not not know about the naked photos.. Like little said he sounds fishy and probably is just looking for sex in my opinion despite what he said..he's a manipulator

[raindropsugarcane]

Yes it is the same guy who asked for photos. I have searched his name and what I have been able to find checks out with what he told me about himself. Thank you for your input on the matter. I literally felt sick to my stomach when he reacted the way he did because it rang some warning bells. I will have to figure out how to go about meeting him, as he already bought the tickets. I am glad to know that it seems I am not totally ill founded in my reaction to his reaction. I am upset and frustrated over this but posting on here has helped to alleviate these overwhelming feelings. Thank you for reading my post.

[jns]

A lot of this sounds awful sudden. Have you video chatted? Do you know what his age is other than his description? Do you know what he looks like other than his description? He could well be triple your age? Generally I am not against age difference between lovers, but before you get invested in a relationship, know what it is and see if you can live with it. Some can deal with large differences in age, some cannot. Beyond that, have your first encounter and maybe several after that be chaperoned.

Since he can afford even a cheap flight and hotel for a while, he must have income. Is he working?

From his point of view, meeting your family may be a little premature, assuming he is legit. Meeting the family usually comes at the relationship stage although sometimes it is at the friendship stage. He may have said he loves you, but this indicates that he does not consider it a relationship.

How often has he committed to come to see you if this turns into a relationship?

[raindropsugarcane]

we have exchanged photos and we have cammed. He has a job and is a few years older than myself. We have not talked about subsequent meetings as this first on is a surprise.

[raindropsugarcane]

what you say about his perspective makes sense. Although it would be unfortunate if he did not think of us as being in a relationship. Based on how much we talk and what we (in particularly he) talk(s) about, we may as well be. It is misleading to say the least.

[jns]

If everything works out right and and he truly is a nice guy, don't let him take any photos that are too revealing. In the internet age photos can get out and embarrass the person or people in them. If you want to do that, wait a bit. Find out if he really wants a continuing relationship after he goes back. Guys always want sexy photos, but it doesn't mean that they need to get them.

[raindropsugarcane]

Thank you for your advice jns. Much appreciated