[chaya]

I usually am the one that needs advice, not the one giving it.

I only have one thing to say, don't be alone when you meet him for the first time. If he is up to no good, having a witness of the meeting could prevent any planned mischief.

[BabyGirl]

I will have to figure out how to go about meeting him, as he already bought the tickets.

Is he flying in close to you ( airport ) if so.
You can meet him with Family or Friends or you can have him meet you and Family at a local Hotel.
as most Hotels have a free Airport to Hotel Transit bus .
Was he planning on staying with you or was he getting a room somewhere and hoping you would stay there with him ?

Although it would be unfortunate if he did not think of us as being in a relationship. Based on how much we talk and what we (in particularly he) talk(s) about, we may as well be. It is misleading to say the least.

This statement is extremely a RED FLAG

This being your use of Unfortunate . If he did not consider you and he a " Relationship ".
Most men would not fly or bus there. if he does not believe you also have feeling ( Online ) for him.

Unless you and he "overstated " the relationship, by talking online or Showing Photo's and Sharing Web
Cams .
I doubt he is a predator,that spends his money on stalking ladies. He most likely feels a connection with you, is interested in you and is willing to travel all that way to actually meet you .

When you worry about your choice to allow someone into your life, Even on the WWW. Internet. You are allowed to make mistakes. Then Correct them at will or Delete or just go the Mile.

Then again I could be wrong.
But It is Your Turf..

[CHANDLERS WISH]

"He has pretty much told me he has yet to tell anyone about me"

"He told me he loved me"

I also read your other thread and if I may include a little of that here as well.

But firstly to the above. Any person who "feels" that they believe that they have fallen in love, what do they do? They shout it from the roof top, tell the world yes? I mean it was your first reaction, to tell your family and call him your boyfriend.

In your other thread you mention you are going to college and a virgin, should you send nude photos to him, and that he was basically hassling you for phone sex and more but when you told him you wanted "tame" regardless that you are not He basically nicked off until you texted him... Now he is in love with you?

The prize is the virgin. Wouldn't it be really nice to know that the prize is the woman whom has the beautiful character, wit, intelligence someone he'd love to marry and then she is a virgin, how lucky...

Focus on the above paragraph and all the advice you have been given. A man truly in love doesn't want sex, nor photos (that can go across the internet in a click of a button), but the woman he fell in love with.

Please be wary, he's older than you. He's hassled you for sexual favours and now because he knows you've gained feelings, he's bought a "cheap" ticket.

Make sure your family or siblings are near by and meet him in a public place each time, don't go back to the Hotel. If this guy "really is in love", he'll leave and come back to see you again and treat you right. He won't care that you won't go back to the Hotel and he will not discuss sex, rather YOU whilst here, all-be-it all men off course want sex but it won't be his focus.

If it is his focus... Then unfortunately, words.. His words are just that... Which is ok, because it teaches you for the next leech..... You know you deserve proper love, stick to your beliefs in that.

[rcoreyus]

It might be OK, but I agree with the others that it sounds fishy. OTOH months is a long time to string out something like this if the goal is only sex.

[amy37]

He's definitely hiding something if he's afraid of your family. Or he's incredibly socially awkward. Either way it's a clear red flag. Don't meet him alone.

[raindropsugarcane]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I have to meet him in Chicago. It will be for 4 or 5 days. He only got one room. I am going to be getting my own. I am nervous about meeting him. I am only meeting him because he bought the tickets and I am partially curious. Otherwise I wouldn't even think of it as an option at this point. My friends and family will know where I am and if anything goes wrong I have a few friends that live in the area I will be meeting him. My brother is a police officer and I made sure to tell the person I am meeting this fact. I still have feelings for him SO this is awkward and Uncomfortable. I've been slowly detaching myself emotionally but it is difficult. I feel so lonely and I am sick of it. I just want to find someone. I want to be able to make someone happy and build a life, but even though this guy is sweet and funny, I feel like this is not going to work. I don't want to feel this way for the rest of my life... any chance that this wont be the case? lol :/

[jns]

Keep us updated. Set up a check in system so you are not out of contact of friends and family too long. A gentleman would pay for your separate room.

[Trisha23]

You made the right decision about telling your family about the guy. Now, you were warned about the guy's intention towards you and that you should be cautious next time on people you meet online.

[jessie144]

I agree with Chandlers Wish. Anyone, male or female, in love and happy about it, will shout it from the tallest mountaintop and not flinch. If it were me, (and it's not), I'd not even meet him and would discontinue all contact. Be very careful.

[Pinkpoodlekiss]

Oh please be careful. I don't trust this guy. I have a bad feeling about this guy. Please don't take any chances. There have been cases of attacks and ladies killed from dating off of POF. Caution, think safe, think on your feet. Keep your wits about you and don't take any chances. I think I would do a pass on him. You are in love with love. You do not know him. Rarely do long distance relationships work out.
Good Luck "