[Jenas]

Hello everyone,I found this forum and I like it,because I saw some threads about mistress and people have giving good advice without too much hating. I'm sorry for grammar mistakes,because I'm from foreinger state,so I hope you will be able to understand my post.

I meet this married man via facebook, he invited me to visit him in his state, but I saw he is married and have a kids, and then he told me he is an adult and his wife don't interfere in his bussines,they do not talk with eachother,he don't love her and other disgusting lies.
That was my first experience with married man. I'm 27, he is 43. He told me he is rich, has his own company, how he gonna make my life easier, he compliments me daily.I feel very specail. He bought tickets for us, so I meet him. We stay 3 days together in his state, we saw eachother 2 other times ,each time he would pay me ticket and help me financially with money. I know I'm disgusting, but it all was like fairtyle, he promissed me so much and I really believed him.
First I said to myself: "Ok,I will be with him because of money,because I live poor,and plus he is good in bad,if he lie I have nothing to lost" ,and I told myself I will not fell in love with him. But I did!!!
I started after first sex to have some feelings toward him,I asked him many times "Don't lie to me,if you are not serous with me,tell me the truth ,and we must stop" but he always begged me to keep in contact with him,and how I'm very "important" to him. We talked for about 6 months, in 6 months we saw eachother only 3 times but for 3 or 4 days eactime.
In 6 months we speak almost everyday,so I started to like him alot. He called his wife monster,how she is temperament,cry whole the time,she want marriage consueling but he didn't wanted to go because he don't love her anymore.He said "I think it's soon over with us" and "I'm with her only because of my kids" etc. Then I was disapointed because I realised it is all lie, he didn't have intention to make my life easier, he just gave me some money as I'm ***** to have sex with him,he said "I would never give you money if I don't love you" ... Deep inside me I know all that what he told me was one big fat lie,and I feelt very unhappy.
I expected that he do all what he promissed, I said many bad words to him,humiliate him, he still wanted to keep in contact, but I didn't feel happy,I didnt believe him,so I sent messages to his daughters via facebook about us to see if he will get mad at me. In my mind if he really wanted me he would forigve me that because I saw many married men would forigve their mistress after they call the wife,they would come back to mistress again. So it was test.
I sent them very long messages,with all proofs,photos of his emails to me, his plane tickets he buy for me etc. One daughter respond me with this: "Thank you ,if you have more informations please sent me" but I was in panic and shocked!!!! I feelt like coward, I contacted him,and he said "Please said it was all lie you told to her, how you just wanted my money,blackmail me etc,you never was with me " and I did. But his daughter sent my message to his wife, and then trouble started. He sent me message from his office: "Thank you for destroying my life,now I will lost my familly".
Next morning his wife sent me message on facebook how she want informations about her husband, I also told her I just lied because he told me to say that ,and how I wanted only his money. She said she don't believe me,she will turn to policedepartment to investigate all story, he then said to me ,say to her: "You can call police but this is not criminal,it was just joke" and I did. After that she didn't responded,it was before 18 days. I felt terrible at that moment, I took medication to calm down. Anyway, next morning he said she don't believe to him, but he hope everything will be fine and how I should stop sent him message,and how he will call me when the time is right.
I didn't texted him 8 days, I was angry he wanted to stop contact like that. Because it prove I didnt mean nothing to him, so I sent him message "You didnt even wish me happy birthday,you could at least addmit I was nothing to you etc". He replied: "Happy Birthday.I'm broken,my psucho is down,and I can't make anything. I can't writte more because my familly can check my email and mobile".
After few days I sent him again angry message about how he used me etc... He said again: "Please leave me alone,I'm broken,I don't want to lost my children,I can't trust anymore to anybody.All what I say can go to other people.Please be kind and leave me alone." but I get even more angry... I feel angry because after six month of his most beautiful words to me, beautiful memories with him,he couldn't just say "I miss you, but we can't be together" and I would not bother him never again, but he was rude to me. Yes, I feel desperate because he didn't wanted to remember out times spent together,and the fact he could leave me so easy ,and yet he told me many times "I don't want to lost you never".
So,what happened ?After he ignored my other messages and put offline his mobile because of me, I sent today again message to his wife that if she want informations I will tell,but only if she want. Now I'm weiting for her replay, but I'm still not sure should I addmit to her or not. I don't want to hurt her more,I already said to her I lied,and how I was not with him. I want to hurt him,so I don't see other way, my hate toward him is so big that I can't help it
I would leave him in peace only if he was more nice to me and say at least how he is sorry that we can't be together, but no,he said "It was my mistake I start to discuss with strange girl" so he saw me as his mistake, and I feelt terrible... I want now to admmit to his wife, and move on,I want to hurt him like he hurted me,and then I will forget him.
The reason why I want to admit to his wife is also this: After I sent messages to his daughters he said I need to tell them how I lied, so I did it, and then he told me this "Thank you,now I'm sure again that you are nice and good girl I hope someday you will be my friend"...but after his daughters sent my message to his wife, he totally changed his mind and now he don't want to speak anymore and tell me to leave him alone. So much about his "feelings" for me... and he called me "his princess" I can't believe how stupid and naive I was.
Please give me an honest advice on what I should do, it kills me inside that he finished with me in this way.

[Element]

Wash your hands of this and move on. Close that chapter of your life and begin a new one.

[Jenas]

Ok, thank's. I will.
I threathen him that I will admit his wife he was with me if he don't admit he was just using me so I can let him in peace, but he said he need peace or he will commit suicide, I was stressed after that so I give up.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

The moment a woman sleeps with a man, if she is lonely, she will "think" that she has fallen in love, for the want, of wanting love.

First I said to myself: "Ok,I will be with him because of money,because I live poor,and plus he is good in bad,if he lie I have nothing to lost" ,and I told myself I will not fell in love with him. But I did!!!

I would like you to re-read the above paragraph. You went into this with your eyes wide open, for money.... Now you wish to seek revenge.

You are only 27.. Seek either within yourself and learn to love yourself more so that you respect yourself and future choices you make in your life, or seek help to see that you are beautiful inside and out and do not need to have affairs with married men.

It NEVER works out... And you hurt other people in the process, in this case, you may feel you have hurt him...But, you hurt yourself, him, his wife, his daughters but also by your own actions, what you went into and why in the first place.

There is no revenge to be had... The choice at the beginning was yours to make.

[Jenas]

Yes, you are completly right. I'm quilty, nothing would happen if I was smarter and said "no".
I will not take revenge on him, he is already devasted because unfortunately his wife believe to me,and not him .He didn't admit to her, I didn't admit, but now she think I didn't lied. Anyway, he told me not to contact him never again, after he threathen with suicide, all what I wanted is just to forget about the whole thing. I though I will be strong to take revenge , but I'm coward. I was too upset and I hope they will be in peace soon. In my first post I was so angry, now it's ok.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Jenas

It is normal to feel hurt, pain...

The purpose of my post was to make you realise YOU are important.

I truly hope you will see that. Sometimes we do things to experience something we never have... That is normal. Sometimes we cross the boundries and go where we know we should not go, that is normal.

Life is about lessons learnt... And growing...

I hope you can let go and realise the growth you just had.

Do not think that I am against you and not him... It takes two.

But no point seeking revenge on a man who thought he could have his cake and eat it too, who knows, maybe you have taught him... That he can't

Welcome and hang about...

[Harmony]

If he's threatened to commit suicide if you ever contact him again, then he's not the only coward - if you ever where.

You're punishing yourself enough, but just remember it takes two to Tango, you both went into this with your eyes open. Men in relationships don't get 'stolen' from their partners, they let people steal them. Don;t feel guilty for the damage that's been done to his marriage - you may have been involved in it - but he initiated the process and permitted its commencement. Now he's flapping around in its aftermath it's probably best you're not there.

Onwards and upwards...

[Calicorado83]

I think you never should have pulled his daughter's into it. If you wanted to reveal the truth it should have been to his wife only. And if the daughters find out it should be from their parents, not the mistress.

You knew what you were getting into. You should have put a guard on your heart in the beginning. And always remember just because he speaks words does not make them the truth. He may have said nice sweet and loving things, but that was for his benefit only. He was playing with your head and emotions to keep you coming back.

You need to drop him and do other things in your life to help you forget. When enough time passes it will be healed. Time heals. And then start forgiveness. Forgive yourself.

[jns]

Let me paraphrase what your first post said, Jenas, in my words and how I see it. You met a married man on Facebook and knew he had a wife and children. You thought the relationship would be OK because he would give you money. He told you a lot of stories about what he was going to do for you. He bought tickets for you two to meet and gave you money. You two communicated often for quite a while and met several times. He made cruel remarks about his wife. You lost faith in what he was saying to you, so you sent messages about your relationship with him to his daughters that ended up causing marital strife in his life. Everything after were attempts at damage control.

How did he break his word to you in the first place? What lies did he say that he didn't follow through with? Did he tell you that he was going to leave his wife, but didn't? Did the money he gave you make your life easier? Did he send you money at times when you didn't meet? If he sent money at other times, how does that fit in your feeling of him giving you money for sex?

Why did you send the messages as a test? It sounds like you thought that you would be the one left standing with him at your side. It also sounds like you wanted it all after you started having feelings for him, even though you knew it was a relationship where you were sharing him. Where would his children have been left in such a scenario? With his wife being so bad by his description, did she deserve nothing? It sounds to me like you didn't care about the rest of his life.

If you think the trouble started when his daughter sent your message to his wife, you are not looking at all of the facts. The trouble started when you and he started this relationship and escalated when you sent the message to his daughters.

[Jenas]

jns, all what you said it true!!! I must admit that I was with him because he is very ,vey rich,and said he will change my life, he talked nice to me, but he also attracked me, (I would not sleep with him if he was ugly to me etc) he talked he will leave his wife, but I was thinking maybe that's not true so if he use me ,I can use him for some time too . But I hoped that all what he says will be true.

Just to answer on your questions:

"How did he break his word to you in the first place?"

- He talked he will make my life easier,he will buy house in my state and will make me happy woman,but he never mentioned that when I saw him. When I asked him in which way he will make my life easier ,he said "I buy you jewelry,shoes,etc" but he didn't do nothing of that, he just gave me money as I'm prostitute each time to my hands. I accepted money because in my state for that amount of money I need to work 1 year. But I didn't feel happy ,because deep inside me, I knew he don't love me,as he claimed. He talked nice words to me only trough messages not when we saw eachother,we just have sex and he would watch TV ,he never hugs me. But after our times spent together he would everday sent me messages how he loves me and how he miss me?!

"Did he send you money at times when you didn't meet?"

- No,he told me,he will help me with money only face to face, when I asked him to sent me money for the New Year, he was shocked and told me how I only think about money, I told him: "Well,you only think about sex, so of course I think about money,if you really love me as you said you would show some love to me when we are together, not just having sex without foreplay eactime". Then he would talk about his feeling and love.

"Why did you send the messages as a test?"

- I did because if he ever had feelings for me, he would forgive me. I just wanted to see how much he care for me.I knew he will left me after that, but I hoped he will finish with me on nice way. Because I read that some maried man leave their misterss after she would tell to his wife, but they would missed their misterrs because they really had feelings for them, but they couldn't continue, and this one told me just "LEAVE ME ALONE".

I also did that, because he told me it is soon over with him and his wife, so he wouldn't be so mad if that was really truth.Now all what he want is to rebuild his life again, he said he was stupid to discuss with foreinger girl (ME) and he thank me that I destroyed his life.

I felt sastified when I sent messages to his daughters ,because I was angry and wanted revenge to hurt him, but after his familly contacted me I'm now so sad and broken, I destroyed one familly, and I pray he will not commit suicide ,I pray his wife will forget about all soon as possible.Yes, I felt terrible for his daughters and wife, but my anger was so big at that time that I didn't care for them,I only cared to make him feel terrible. He did, but it shocked him more then I wanted. I was devasted, because after his words, I felt terrible.

Now I just pray to God they will forget about me soon and be happy. I was selfish, I don't know why I 'm like that.I wish I'm not selfish.
Before he said he would commit suicide I hoped he would forgive me and talk nice to me, but after his threats now I totally want to forget him and leave him alone, I did alot of pain to him,and his daughters and wife.At least I did not admit, it would be only worse.