[NAmaya01]

I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months. We get along great and I love spending time with him, but since the beginning he has been the one to initiate sex. I've lost 65 lbs and I'm feeling more confident and try to wear sexy clothes and change things up a bit but he doesn't seem to notice or care. When he does hes close my shirt or just act like its nothing. He has never been interested in foreplay or making out before sex. This is a first for me! Most guys enjoy knowing you're turned on. My boyfriend is a big strong guy so it makes things even more frustrating. I've tried explaining that I need foreplay or a good make out session, but so far nothing. I put on a cute pj set, clevage and all and as I type this he's laying next to me sleeping....what do i do?....I could easily get turned on by him if he'd just make me feel wanted. I don't know what to do. Everything else is great.

[jns]

Have you straight out asked him why he is not playing with your new, sexy body?

[amy37]

does he watch porn? Is his sex drive being spent somewhere else?

[Trisha23]

Why not you'll be the one to initiate and show him how you want it done. Try to be daring for once and see how he will respond.

[NAmaya01]

We've both lost weight but before we knew each other. I've wore sexy clothes, cleavage, etc and he actually closed my robe...he doesn't watch porn at all. I really think he has a really low sex drive which, I've never heard of when it comes to men! Lol The frustrating part is we wrestle around and lot and I started getting turned on, but he doesn't seem to see it as more than just messing around. We've never even KISSED during sex. It almost seems like its a chore for him, unless its his idea, but then its straight to the point, no foreplay and then he's done and I'm left to fend for myself. I've tried different ways to express how I feel but nothing gets the point across.....what's even more frustrating is not only am I feeling more comfortable with my body, I've also never been so attracted to someone before...ugh

[NAmaya01]

I've tried and now I'm nervous about rejection. Whenever I try to start something sexual he stops me. Once after a few drinks he was relaxed and I somewhat took advantage of that but again it was slim to nothing...

[NAmaya01]

Thanks for trying to help everyone...I'm just at a loss for what to do next! I need all the help I can get!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Ahhhh.

No kissing, no way... That's a bond and a half just there.

NAmaya... He's a selfish lover because he goes straight for the prize to release himself when he wants to and only when he wants to, he does not listen to your needs at all, nor does he care and he's not one to look at your beautiful body?

What concerns me is that he was always like this when you met.. He was a biggish man, you were over weight to what you like from what you are saying... So comfort? Now you look hot, and he can't cope with that either, perhaps he felt comfortable of your weight, thinking it meant you would be happy with just "sex".

If you wanted just sex you could go and get that, that is not what you are after, you are after love, intimacy as well.

You are not a machine, he makes an effort or else he finds someone else he is going to destroy your new found beauty and make you hide and that's hard to get out of.

A relationship is not a relationship without intimacy and that starts with kissing.

Shake him up and make him realise what he will lose.

Good luck. Let us know what happens.

[NAmaya01]

Thanks, we both lost our weight before meeting but youre definitely right! Now that I'm feeling more confident and think I could actually enjoy sex it does bother me to get shot down. He acts like a child when I try to bring up the topic so I wrote a letter explaining all of this and hopefully he'll actually pay attention to what I'm trying to say. In the act of having sex he does try to satify but he knows that I've never had an orgasm during sex, I've explained that that has nothing to do with him...i see a future with him, as I've said before everything else is great. I'm not sure how to go about figuring out why he is the way he is...I've never met a guy that wasn't ready for anything when it comes to sex. Definitely a first for me!