[valachi]

So I've been out of the dating scene for a few years now.

I was at a gathering of people just recently to meet new people. I ended up meeting lots of cool people and especially two girls, who were good friends. We talked a lot and I would say it went fairly well in terms of chatting and getting to know each other. I got to be myself and just learn more about them.

Anyway, as I was about to leave at the end of the day. I said good bye to everyone and shook hands with most of the people. The whole time she had her face down I think at her phone and turned away from me. So as I said bye to everyone else, but my attention was on her the whole time. I guess I was waiting for her to make eye contact so I could approach her and say bye. She never looked at me, or I never noticed her looking, so I went up to her at the end and went to give her a hug and say bye. She then asked me for my number and said she needs its so she can ask me questions about my trip. I had told her about some places I had travelled, and it made her want to visit those places too since she has not travelled.

At that time I didn't think much of it, I gave her my number, she gave me a missed call right away. So I assume it was so I would get her number?, and she asked me for my name again. I gotta admit I was some what thrown off, I had no expectations that we would exchange numbers. But I must say I found myself mesmerized, and any time I would look around the room at all the faces earlier in the day. I would find myself stopping at her face and just would get lost in dream land haha.. until she would make eye contact and then I'd freak out and realize I was stuck staring at her. Which caused me to look away!

Then I got confused.. why did she make up an excuse or was it even an excuse to get my number? Personally, I am straight up honest if I like a girl. I would just tell her I am interested in her and would like to get her number to arrange a time we can go out for coffee to chat and learn more about each other. But this girl said nothing of that sort. In fact I felt bad, because she made the effort instead of me, so I kinda felt like she was shy or nervous, but she broke through it and got my number. Heck, if she was interested and I knew for sure, I'd have asked her out myself before she did.

Anyway, then I got busy the next day and another day later I texted her. Asked how she was doing, and that it was nice meeting her, which lead to long text msgs going back and forth about friends and school. Eventually, I asked if she wants to hang out sometime this week. She then took quite awhile to reply, and said she had gone out. She stated she's busy this week, but maybe next week. By then I had fallen asleep, so I texted her the next day in the evening.

So I then asked if I could call her , (I asked, because I know she lives with her family, so I didn't want to call unless she could talk properly). I also thought calling her would work better, because texting seemed like a slow process. I mean it took 2 days to talk properly via text. So, she said she was busy with an exam coming up and needs to study. And that she can't talk right now because she is studying, and she isn't trying to be rude. But maybe I can call her later.

So I was nice about it,and ended the convo with good luck on the exams and that I can relate to her knowing how busy it can make you feel when you do have exams. After that she thanked me for wishing her good luck.

End of convo....

So the question is.. now what? Do I just leave the ball in her court and let her reach out to me when she's free and not busy. Or do I make another push next week and say I am going out X place and ask if she wants to join me? I mean I don't know if she is interested at all, I assume maybe she really is busy with school. But, I would think if a girl is interested she would spare a few mins to talk?

Guess I need some advice, because I'm super confused with her actions.

BTW sorry for the long post, but I wanted to get details in there as I think they would help more.

Thanks.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

She said call her, not then as she was studying but maybe later.

Call her. If she says the same thing "later" tell her you will call her in a few hours to give her time to finish studying.

Later means a few hours time. Not 2 days later

[valachi]

She said call her, not then as she was studying but maybe later.

Call her. If she says the same thing "later" tell her you will call her in a few hours to give her time to finish studying.

Later means a few hours time. Not 2 days later

Yeah, I agree with you there. I should've asked her then when later would be. The thing is it was already 11pm by the time she replied. So it didn't make sense to call her later, that is if later meant later on in the night.

By the way isn't that kind of rude though? I mean lets say she says she's studying and I tell her I will call her in a few hours?

Her exact words were "im actually studying for an exam so maybe later? sorry about it, i'm not trying to be rude"

To me it felt like she just wanted some space to study and didn't want me around. Then again maybe I am reading it all wrong.

I was busy all day today too, so I wouldn't have had time to ring her up. I think she works tmrw, so I have NO idea when she gets home, or if she would even want to talk after work.

Then again shouldn't she be contacting me now? I kinda feel like I'd come off as desperate or something, if I contact her again so soon?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Remember the heading of your thread ?

Ok, so it was 11pm when she replied. If I wasn't interested, I would reply the next day, I would be dog tired from studying right? Why answer when you finish? It would be sorry, I was studying all night and had the phone off.

No girl wants to tell you when to call, they want you to keep trying to get them, it's not a game persay rather they do like to be chased as it makes them feel wanted, important does that make sense?

Take the knocks. Text her.. How's the studying going, I'm sure you will pass with flying colours mainly because I am not calling you so you can

Followed by......... a few hours later... You need a break, not a coffee break, about to call, hope you have 10 minutes to spare, as I want to know how your day has been.

See ?

[valachi]

Remember the heading of your thread ?

Ok, so it was 11pm when she replied. If I wasn't interested, I would reply the next day, I would be dog tired from studying right? Why answer when you finish? It would be sorry, I was studying all night and had the phone off.

No girl wants to tell you when to call, they want you to keep trying to get them, it's not a game persay rather they do like to be chased as it makes them feel wanted, important does that make sense?

Take the knocks. Text her.. How's the studying going, I'm sure you will pass with flying colours mainly because I am not calling you so you can

Followed by......... a few hours later... You need a break, not a coffee break, about to call, hope you have 10 minutes to spare, as I want to know how your day has been.

See ?

haha yes, I remember the heading of my thread again

See I always was told if you keep trying or chasing, then it feels to easy for her. Or it looks desperate? I mean maybe in this case it doesn't because SHE ASKED for my number.

Also I like your examples.. **** it why don't I think of that kinda stuff. That is PERFECT to say and get her to talk.

I'm guessing your also saying I should be a bit more persistent? Not just kinda back away totally, but kinda use what she knocks me with as an advantage.

Just like you said "How's the studying going, I'm sure you will pass with flying colours mainly because I am not calling you so you can "

I guess it kinda backfires it back at her, but in a good way.

I'm just thinking of tmrw then, as it's super late now. But she has work on Fridays, she had given me her schedule earlier on days she has school and work.
Would it be better to call or text in the evening or in the day?

Wow.. I sound so hopeless hahah. I must have done something right to at least get her to like me enough to want my number. And the funny thing is I wasn't even trying, I was just being me for once.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

What I gave you was a way out, she should smile, big time and reply but no where have you been desperate.

You are over analysing chill

And, try it ....

[valachi]

Well either she fell asleep at 10pm or she doesn't want to reply to my text, or she might be studying again. Heck.. or she might be out with friends.

I guess I have to wait now. Normally she replies back to me, but this time she has not.

I wonder if not contacting her for 2 days since then has made her lose interest?

[valachi]

So she did text super late.. apparently she works really late. We had a good chat to a point where she said her day is tough.

I then said you wanna talk about it? how about I call you if your not too tired to talk?

After that I got no reply.. I'm thinking if I should call? Normally, girls would say something.. like that would be cool or ya sure.. LOL

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I can only guess she fell asleep?

It's tricky when a person doesn't give off vibes that you can work with huh.

You offered, she either fell asleep, felt tired or didn't want to talk.

Try texting her tomorrow "How's the tough girl feeling, refreshed"...

I'd give up after a couple of these tries to be honest if you can't break through.

But if it's true and she is working and studying she more than likely is buggered, may love to have a boyfriend but also doesn't want one due to her commitments.

You have to consider that too. If you do break through she won't have a lot of time for you because she won't be able to....

[valachi]

So yeah she fell asleep and woke up quickly and said sorry.

She was talking about how shes hating her life right now being busy all the time. And she said she can't talk, because she will pass out and fall asleep, and her brain is dead. She seemed pretty exhasuted based off her texts and she got hom by 1am from work.

So I told her that I know she has tmrw off, so in the evening I am going to call her and we can talk all about it. And that she should get some rest and sleep.

I wished her" good night and sweet dreams", to which she replied "alright, you too talk to you later". <- is that a good thing for her to say?

I guess what this does is now she KNOWS I am calling tmrw no matter what, and she will have to wait for it.

I'm hoping she doesn't come up with some excuse tmrw of why she can't talk. But she seems stressed about her school and work and not having time for anything as she mentioned.

I hope I did a good thing? Am I getting put in the friend zone or am I okay for now?

What should I do when I call her tmrw? I was thinking I would let her express all the crap she is going through and try to be supportive and give her positive encouragement. I mean I am about 4-5 years older than her and she's pretty darn young in her early 20's. So I found she always liked my school advice, as I've already gone through that stage almost.