Hi everyone, this is my first post and a quite heavy one at that but hey, that's why I'm here.
I've been seeing my boyfriend on and off for a year now and we became more serious and steady back in March. For some background purposes I'm 25 and he's 24. He was beginning to get into body building when we met and has made some impressive progress in the time that I've known him. I've been very supportive of the process, assisting with meal planning, listening to his concerns, his good days and bad days but I've always been proud of his dedication and as a somewhat chunky girl- a little intimidated by it. I began to have some concerns, however. One of his friends is very involved in body building as well and I learned he had done a cycle of steroids at one time. I also know you meet other body builders at the gym and its a community in and of its own, with stigmas and such attached to it. Before my boyfriend gave me any reason to be concerned (Im quite the negative thinker and always expecting the worst, stressing myself out far before I need to) I expressed my disapproval of "unhealthy" and "unnatural" means of enhancing his performance and building muscle. I could deal with the protein shakes, the creatine, the caveman meals, the hours at the gym, even diet pills when the "bulking" was over and it was "cutting" time but I just could not stand for steroids.
A few days ago he began talking about the new lifting and eating program to bulk before cutting again but unlike other programs he'd tried he didn't have a website or meal plan or video or anything to show me. To me, it was a red flag that he was just trying to pass off a new way of eating and lifting as a reason for the change I'd see when he started a cycle of steroids. I asked him if there was something involved in his new plan that he didn't want to tell me about and for a few minutes he said no. He's got a tell tale lying face so I persisted and he admitted he did plan on doing a cycle. My initial reaction was a complete shut down until we could get home then I was just going to go back to my parents house (I live between their house and his, spending most of my time at his house) and he became very concerned that I wasn't talking, had my shoes on and my purse on my shoulder. We sat down to talk, a talk that evolved into a discussion about our relationship as well as the steroids. He further admitted he had already purchased them and they were in the house. We were at a stand still and ended it by just going to bed. In the past day or so the standstill has remained. He says he only plans to do one cycle to get where he wants to be but that he also doesn't want to upset me and he knows how I feel about them. I said I really just don't know what to do. He was going to hide them from me to begin with, then tried to lie when I figured out what was going on, then seemed devastated at the thought of me leaving. I want to threaten that if he does them I will leave but deep down I know I don't have the follow through required to offer an ultimatum. At this point he's unsure if he will do them or sell them and I'm not sure how I feel about any of it... The fact they became an issue at all, that he was going to hide it, what I'll do if he does them, if he sells them...so I guess I'm just looking for opinions, experiences and some discussion. I know what the general consensus will be but...I've typed it all up at this point so here we go.
I've been seeing my boyfriend on and off for a year now and we became more serious and steady back in March. For some background purposes I'm 25 and he's 24. He was beginning to get into body building when we met and has made some impressive progress in the time that I've known him. I've been very supportive of the process, assisting with meal planning, listening to his concerns, his good days and bad days but I've always been proud of his dedication and as a somewhat chunky girl- a little intimidated by it. I began to have some concerns, however. One of his friends is very involved in body building as well and I learned he had done a cycle of steroids at one time. I also know you meet other body builders at the gym and its a community in and of its own, with stigmas and such attached to it. Before my boyfriend gave me any reason to be concerned (Im quite the negative thinker and always expecting the worst, stressing myself out far before I need to) I expressed my disapproval of "unhealthy" and "unnatural" means of enhancing his performance and building muscle. I could deal with the protein shakes, the creatine, the caveman meals, the hours at the gym, even diet pills when the "bulking" was over and it was "cutting" time but I just could not stand for steroids.
A few days ago he began talking about the new lifting and eating program to bulk before cutting again but unlike other programs he'd tried he didn't have a website or meal plan or video or anything to show me. To me, it was a red flag that he was just trying to pass off a new way of eating and lifting as a reason for the change I'd see when he started a cycle of steroids. I asked him if there was something involved in his new plan that he didn't want to tell me about and for a few minutes he said no. He's got a tell tale lying face so I persisted and he admitted he did plan on doing a cycle. My initial reaction was a complete shut down until we could get home then I was just going to go back to my parents house (I live between their house and his, spending most of my time at his house) and he became very concerned that I wasn't talking, had my shoes on and my purse on my shoulder. We sat down to talk, a talk that evolved into a discussion about our relationship as well as the steroids. He further admitted he had already purchased them and they were in the house. We were at a stand still and ended it by just going to bed. In the past day or so the standstill has remained. He says he only plans to do one cycle to get where he wants to be but that he also doesn't want to upset me and he knows how I feel about them. I said I really just don't know what to do. He was going to hide them from me to begin with, then tried to lie when I figured out what was going on, then seemed devastated at the thought of me leaving. I want to threaten that if he does them I will leave but deep down I know I don't have the follow through required to offer an ultimatum. At this point he's unsure if he will do them or sell them and I'm not sure how I feel about any of it... The fact they became an issue at all, that he was going to hide it, what I'll do if he does them, if he sells them...so I guess I'm just looking for opinions, experiences and some discussion. I know what the general consensus will be but...I've typed it all up at this point so here we go.
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