[Itsnc]

He acts as if his height doesn't bother him and I have known him since high school and don't recall any bullying based on his height. I'm sure he's heard some grief since boys will be boys but nothing extreme that I know of.

[Obelisk]

Changing the width of his body won't compensate for his height. I think he might be insecure about his height and is looking for an excuse to not be picked on, joked about, or an easy target for men who are 6ft and have big mouths. Does he have a history of being bullied or harassed? Because that would answer a lot of questions.

I'm 5'6 and when I started working out, I also had 14" arms. After a few years I got them to about 18". It still sucked to be short, but trust me at least for me I didn't feel as insecure about my height.

And yes I was severely bullied when I was kid, primarily about my weight. Itsnc's bf is lucky to have a girl that cares about him at this age. I had nothing and was on my own.

Itsnc, If you don't care about him getting bigger, tell him that you think he's hot the way he looks now, and ask him why he wants to change. In my case I never cared about looking good for women at the time. I just wanted to look intimidating so that nobody would mess with me.

What's funny is that I did start intimidating a lot of people, but no one that deserved it, so I had to learn to hide my size and be generally friendly to people.

[Itsnc]

So, now that I can get a little deeper into the replies...

His motivation, at least what he tells me, is not to look good for women. He says it is to feel better for himself and he feels being "bigger" (to him bigger encompasses larger muscles, stronger, higher weight, all of it) will make him more equipped to perform the possible careers he is pursuing. I think he feels inadequate in many aspects of life including his ability to naturally build muscle. I have expressed my disgust with those huge juice heads, ironically The Rock in particular, as well as how attracted to my boyfriend I am as he is. Makes no difference. I recently lost between 50 and 60 lbs in a few months and I fully attribute some rather unhealthy techniques (another day another story) so speaking from the point of view of someone who desperately wanted to achieve a goal, so desperately that it consumed my entire being and I wanted it done FAST I think he sees the steroids as a quick means to an end...and that's part of what bothers me- I had so much pride in how much hard work he was doing and dedication he was showing to stay away from steroids and make progress when I know so many people at his gym are probably flaunting steroid based progress twenty times faster. It feels as if he's turning out not to be who I thought he was. I guess these things happen often, don't they?

I have so much trouble accepting that this could be our deal breaker because he very well could have done his research...he could understand the difference between use and abuse of steroids and it could not completely change his personality and he could feel and act fine during the cycle and never use them again. But he could go back to them. He could lie about it again (I would find out anyway, he said if nothing else I should take away from this situation that if I were ever tired of teaching I'd make a great detective ) and when could that be? Another year down the line? When surely itd be even harder and more heart breaking for me to leave? I could say fine, I'll ride this out until I'm uncomfortable with it and if this ever comes up again I'm DONE but then it's just shame on me if it were to come up again and I feel like I'm setting a precedent that ultimately I'm some sort of push over for him. Really, my head could cave in from all the overwhelming thoughts- one second "what on earth are you doing this isn't what you saw for yourself just go" the next "if you left you'd get about 5 mins of peace before utter devastation set in because you really don't want to leave".

Less than a week ago I was literally thanking (insert whatever higher power you may or may not believe in) for how well everything was going and how much we have grown together and to care for each other and now regardless of steroids or not I can't see how it could ever be the same or even ok, me harboring this anger towards him that this move he's made derailed the train, him feeling like I'm "acting" a type of way and looking at the whole situation poorly. Can't really blame him... I'd resent someone who was openly discussing uncertainty over staying while they lingered around trying to figure it out.

Love. It's just not like in the movies, huh? Boy meets girl, boy wants to do steroids, girl flies so far off the handle she turns to a forum, ending tbd. I'm totally pitching it. I can already type short novels as you can see... why not a script too?!

[Stillness]

My first thought was not with the illegalities. I hadn't even considered that. Most of the issues with this stuff are ethical in various professions, not legal. What kind of career is he pursuing?

My other thought was of the damage steroid users do to their bodies. Do you want to be with someone for life that is willing to deform themselves, potentially interfere with their health, sexual, and reproductive abilities, and shorten their lifespan to put on unnatural muscle? You have to set present feelings aside and look at what you might be experiencing for the long run. If it's worth it then don't threaten him. If it's too much, then you need to tell him that and mean it.

The rest of your life is a long time. Even when two people are fairly well-matched and work at a life together it's hard to make things work. You're still young. You can't control and foresee everything, but when life gives you a glimpse of what it has in store for you like it has it seems like a sin to ignore it.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Love. It's just not like in the movies, huh? Boy meets girl, boy wants to do steroids, girl flies so far off the handle she turns to a forum, ending tbd. I'm totally pitching it. I can already type short novels as you can see... why not a script too?!

lols well said...

I think you have to look at it like this. He was starting to get into body building when you met, you were on and off and then became more serious in March it appears he also has become more serious in his "sports" and I am betting that it is due to some form of in-security, perhaps height but I doubt he will tell you what it is.

He's not up himself, that's a good thing. But you don't want lies in a relationship and you do want compromise, meaning if it's a deal breaker for you, you have to move on and allow him to make his mistakes or not. If it's not, then compromise of what he wants and what you want in life, if you want this to be a lasting relationship.

I feel he was heading that way right from get go when you met him..

You have to decide if this crosses what you believe in or not, as I suspect he loves the look and where he is heading and will find it too hard to stop now.

[Obelisk]

What's funny is that the steroids won't do a thing for him unless he's got everything else in check, diet, workouts, sleep. Steroids for the most part simply accelerate gains, so you get in 1-2 months what would take a year to gain naturally.

Most seasoned bodybuilders would tell that kid he's an idiot. He shouldn't even be thinking about steroids at all until he maxes his natural limits.