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My boyfriend changed in a very bad way.

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  • My boyfriend changed in a very bad way.

    I have been in a relationship with him for just a year and a half. He was perfect up until a month ago , when he would go on 3 day sprees with his buddies and wouldn't answer my calls , I woud cry my eyes out and he didn't care. I had a rough time as I miscarried our baby and I needed him more than ever but he was not there. He apologised but it was a terrible apology and I still haven't really forgave him. We went on holidays and for the two weeks everything was perfect but when we came back , he changed again, and it was back to the ''dickhead mode'' never turning on his phone. He knew I would be upset but he would never make the effort to come down and make it up to me . I feel like everytime he ********************s up , it's me who chases after him and makes it up with him even though sometimes it's not my fault. I don't want to be the one chasing after him. I love him loads but I want some attention off him as I don't get any. And I don't think it's because he needs space as before it all happened , he told me it's perfect for him if it's just me and him , so I dont get why all the change suddenly :/ . I can just feel that he is different and I try to talk to him but it ends into an arguement and just never changes. Few days ago I got some very important results and I did very good while he did very bad. He claimed he wanted to be on his own but was at his sister's and really didn't seem like he wante to come over to me. Like I don't get while he lied. I told him I wouldn't even mention the results I just want to comfort him , he had the whole day to be alone and he wasn't even alone for half of it. I don't know if I'm paranoid over nothing. I don't want to leave him but I just can't take it anymore , I feel like I'm falling out of love with him. And his behaviour is hurting me so bad :/
    This felt so good letting it all out Please share your answers or opinions or stories with me , I would really appreciate it <3

  • I think that you firstly need to question was it really perfect until a month ago? That would be my first port of call.

    Secondly, I am sorry for your loss, it's a difficult time. Do you know that a lot of men don't show emotions? They keep them hidden, it could very well be that he has gone out on a spree due to himself feeling hurt over the mis-carriage given the time frame is the same.

    Failing that when a woman keeps hounding a guy to be around, sometimes they do the opposite. I am not saying that you do but you indicate that the past month or so you have needed him and so, have been pushing him for attention..

    Is it possible that you've changed a bit? Become more clingy are you frightened of losing him?

    Lastly, he could be going through a faze as well.. I suspect you are both young, maybe he's mixing with a different crowd and as such, they expect him to be a boy with them, not with his woman and that's also why his grades are suffering, is he going through anything at home that you know of ?

    Lots of questions huh


    • Do you know that a lot of men don't show emotions? They keep them hidden, it could very well be that he has gone out on a spree due to himself feeling hurt over the mis-carriage given the time frame is the same.
      It's unfortunate, but a lot of us guys are told we have to be macho, and real men don't show their emotions, etc etc.

      For me it was easy to get out of that mindset because I realized how stupid it was. If we have emotions, it's because our brains need an outlet for them, not to bottle up inside. A lot of men suffer because of it. Unfortunately a lot take it out on their significant others. So sad.
      Pigeonholer extraordinaire!


      • A VERY important point of being in a relationship is to have a partner to help get each other through the difficult times of life. I suspect he wants the benefits of being in a relationship with a woman, but not the responsibility that commitment entails.

        He clearly doesn't understand and is not up to the task--or doesn't want to be.

        These failures are not easily forgotten and the hurt/betrayal can fester for years, eventually even eroding all care and respect for the other person. Don't minimize this. If he can't be bothered to attend to your genuine needs before you are committed, don't expect him to do so later. You deserve a full partner.

        Good luck



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