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  • Pollon
    Veteran Member
    • Nov 2012
    • 327

    Amber,

    It seems to me that you were asking legitimate questions. There is no point in dating a man who really doesn't have the amount of time to spend with you that you desire.

    A guy who was interested in building a serious relationship would be much more forthcoming with basic information like how much time he spends with his child and the things they do together. It's not like you were asking where he the kid lived and how you could make contact with him.

    I don't know whether or not you care about kids, but if you cared deeply about children, you would certainly base some of your decision about whether you wanted to date a man on the nature of his relationship with his child.

    It would be foolish to get attached to a man with no real understanding of his parental devotion and obligation. That leads to the "I didn't think it would be like this when we were dating" fights after you get serious.

    Element's boyfriend's approach to protecting his child from the drama of his love life is a great approach. However, I think the woman needs to know something about the child and the father-child relationship before she gets too attached.

    Comment

    • Amber
      Veteran Member
      • Oct 2009
      • 1268

      Something I forgot to mention before that occurred to me today. If this go was so bent on trying to protect his child, then why did he post a very clear decent size picture of his son on his dating website page. You could see his features clearly. It is like a tease. Here he is but don't ask me anything about him. Wow, if I was trying to protect my child, I wouldn't have a full clear picture of him on a dating website for anyone to see. Makes me wonder all the more what his problem was! The boy looked to be seven or eight but I had no idea how old the picture was.

      Atskitty2, I think it wouldn't have bothered me as much if he had come out and explained it to me. Instead of ignoring me. But this guy, either didn't care to or doesn't know how to communicate. As for age, I'm very close to you and I'm definitely looking for a serious relationship. Guys like him just aggravate me.

      Comment

      • Amber
        Veteran Member
        • Oct 2009
        • 1268

        Originally posted by Pollon
        Amber,
        It would be foolish to get attached to a man with no real understanding of his parental devotion and obligation. That leads to the "I didn't think it would be like this when we were dating" fights after you get serious.

        Element's boyfriend's approach to protecting his child from the drama of his love life is a great approach. However, I think the woman needs to know something about the child and the father-child relationship before she gets too attached.
        I agree with you.

        And it is not like I was asking to spend time with the child or any specific information. I don't expect to meet the child until months into the dating. A few general questions wouldn't have hurt. And if it would, then tell me. Not just ignore me time and time again. That wasn't the first email he did that to me. It was just the first one that he refused to answer the whole email and I had about had it at that point.

        Comment

        • atskitty2
          Assistant Admin
          • Aug 2013
          • 4467

          I understand-I've been there.
          And actually, I've often felt there was something just not quite right about the men's pictures with their kids posted there. If I had kids of my own, i wouldn't put their picture out there...I have asked some men why they do, they seem to think i have a point and take the kid pics down-at least for awhile.
          Have fun with this tho...don't get too bogged down with these kinds of interactions...there are actually good guys on there it just takes awhile to find them.

          Comment

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