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Crush at work

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  • Crush at work

    I started a new job in December as a temp and was officially hired this past March something I'm eternally grateful for. It has been a might rough settling in socially at work, but I feel I've finally made some progress being a relatively socially awkward shy girl quiet in her corner. When I was still a temp back in December, our managers invited the crew out to drinks. A fraction showed up. I was then still with someone and had recently moved in with him and his mom (more on that at a later time perhaps) and was not at all on the look out for anyone. I noticed throughout the evening a fine looking guy a few tables over and kitty- corner to me giving me flirtatious glances. I didn't think much of it then and avoided leading him on. As I was getting ready to leave, he introduced himself and said what department he worked in. My initial impression of him was that of someone much like most of the guys I work with, to put it bluntly, and with no intention of offending anyone; I work with a bunch of hicks. That was that for several months and given what department he works in it's rare that we cross paths.

    It was back in March that I made the decision to leave the guy I was with, but I hadn't made it official until this past June. I hadn't really thought about my brief meeting with the good looking guy back in December, nor dating anyone new for that matter. I can't recall exactly what day it was in June, but I know it hit me very suddenly. I don't even remember if it was a specific event! All the sudden I couldn't stop thinking about him. Shortly there after I'd learn little tidbits about him here and there, which intrigued me even more and changed my picture of him and I began seeing him more often around the shop where we'd exchange smiles and small conversation. I learned he likes to mountain bike and go jeeping, has a jeep; and right then and there had my heart as the outdoorsy Colorado type that I seek!

    I finally had the great opportunity to go mountain biking with him earlier this month. He's quite talented and I am still just getting back into it so I felt a little intimidated and nervous. We met at the trail head and instantly all my nervousness melted away. I felt that comfortable with him. I wanted to make an impression, but it was hard for me being still a little out of shape and battling confidence issues on the trail. Despite this he was easy going with me and we made simple conversations and we laughed. I had fun for the most part, but did have a few hiccups along the way....nothing major, just a little over exertion and proceeding to puke at the top of the hill wasn't embarrassing at all and yea tipping over and proceeding to fall hand first into a bed of cacti. Makes for a perfect impression! Right!

    As far as my understanding goes he wants to go again and I know he enjoyed our talk as simple and yet entertaining as it was, but time seems to be working against us. We both have much going on in our lives so it's hard to schedule when we can go again. I've since been out on the trails on my own or with a group and have been able to practice the fine art of mountain biking and breaking through psychological barriers.

    He has his daughter often which I absolutely respect and love that he gets to spend time with her as it should be. I never want to come between that. There is still much that I do not know about him as we really don't get the chance to talk much. Questions scream through my head and I find myself sometimes wondering if there is any further interest on his part. Our communication is sporadic and mostly through text and I have to admit not as satisfying as I'd like it to be.

    For my part this little crush as grown into a fevered pitch that I keep either fighting against or embracing. When I embrace it I get all the warm fuzzies that go with a crush, but then I don't see him, don't hear from him, and fear over takes me and I try to accept that he may not or doesn't find me interesting anymore and I'm fine with that and continue on with my little life as it is for which I'm quite happy with. Then something happens at work, we pass and there is that wonderful smile and look he gives me and I'm all a flutter again. Am I such a fool to believe there is something there? Oh that look sure does make me think so, but I would think if he was that interested I'd hear from him more. I've been there before! Maybe he's waiting for me to open that channel, though I feel like I've tried to open that conversation, break the ice so-to-speak, but then I don't get the feedback I'm looking for. Maybe I'm expecting too much. Maybe it's not enough for him. Maybe he is fearful of offending me, not possible. Maybe there is nothing there on his end, maybe he's seeing someone, maybe he's as shy as I am. Maybe he's waiting for me. How do I break the ice? How do I ask these questions, and seek the answers I seek without pushing him away all the while keeping it lighthearted and fun and slow going and also not over thinking it? He's a guy, so I know he's not thinking about it as much as me being a girl and reading into every little thing..... for instance, him liking some event I posted on facebook! How do I let it go when those little magic things happen that keep me guessing and wanting more? Is it in my head? No it can't be, it's too obvious.

    Obviously I'm not too concerned about the work crush thing. I am a calm and patient individual and by far and away avoid the drama. If something happens between us, things will carry on much the way they do at work now and if they don't work out, I'm sure we'll still be friends. The other justification is the tolerance of certain individuals to continue their own liaisons within the work place.

    So what do I want to know? I want to know what he's thinking, so I should ask the blunt question, but I fear rejection, I fear the comment "no I just like to flirt and only want to be friends, I'm seeing someone, etc." What do I do then? I move on of course but with the brief or long term empty regret of liking him in the first place. I would be the fool for being taken in and he would be the jerk for leading me on.

  • just stay as you are,show your real you ..don't be too hurry of knowing him deeply...just enjoy your feelings...make him an inspiration of your daily routine...actually, you can initiate questions by asking what type of a girl he wants, if he has an ideal girl...something like that...okey..GOOD LUCK...


    • Personally, I never get involved with coworkers socially. There's entirely too much potential drama and I just prefer to keep work and private life separated completely.
      If things don't work out, it could be very uncomfortable at work, and other coworkers may inadvertently develop an unprofessional opinion of you.
      Usually just best to keep romance out of the workplace.


      • Trisha23...I thank you! This is the course that I am presently taking. I am exercising some self discipline in not worrying about it too much and living my daily life as I please with no effort to impress.... just be wobderful me. I want to let him make the first move.
        Last edited by danaeargos; 09-02-2013, 12:15 PM. Reason: reference


        • Atskitty2....you know I couldn't agree more! Never expected to like this guy so much but I'm willing to be optimistic and see where it leads. One other gal already has that reputation as the shop flirt and I do want avoid that rep. Only one for me... thank you much!



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