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International relationship... do they work?

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  • International relationship... do they work?

    Hello ladies, looking for advice on a very long distance relationship.

    I'm in a pretty complicated situation romantically... but long story short, there's a wonderful guy I've grown very close with over the past half a year or so. I'm in the US and he's European. We communicate daily online, but haven't been able to spend much time together in person. I do love him, and I want to try to have a relationship with him, but I'm not sure how we'd make it work. We've discussed options like staying in each others' countries for as long as possible on a visitor visa, but I don't speak his language (he's a very fluent English speaker, so he has no trouble in the US.)

    The good news is that he'd be more than willing to move to the US with me... but we don't know if we'd be able to find a way for him to stay. The issue isn't really the distance... he'd fly over right now if I wanted him to. The issue is the amount of time he's allowed to visit, and we've been holding off on visits until we learn a little bit more about how this is going to work. I think he might be able to stay up to 6 months on a visitors visa, but I hate to think of how much it would break our hearts to be together for 6 months and then have to separate, and he wouldn't be allowed back for half a year.

    Has anybody been in an international relationship before? Were you able to make it work? I'd love to hear about your experiences. Thank you in advance for your advice :]

  • How did you meet this man?

    Unless it's changed over the last few years, I believe you're right about the 6 month stay.

    Comment


    • It's often quite complicated for someone to get a long-term/work visa to the US, but most of my experiences concern undocumented immigrants from Latin America, so your situation may be much simpler.

      Will he need to work while he is in the US?
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      • When I used to live in England, I was with this guy for about a year. Things were great, sometimes shaky but just like any normal relationship.
        Just before our one year anniversary, my family and I moved out to California. It honestly was the worst thing I have ever put my heart through. I wouldn't want it on my worst enemy.
        Long story short, the first few months of our relationship were amazing. He sent over roses and gifts and everything as if I was on vacation, we talked to each other every day despite the time difference and things were great.
        However, as soon as we realized that this move was permanent and I wasn't coming back anytime soon, things turned very, very sour. He suddenly became my worst enemy, blackmailing me, threatening me, and tearing my heart in so many ways I had no idea what on earth was going on.
        We broke up in a terrible way and he ended up sexting my recently divorced aunty...which was great. Really, the 35 year difference was awesome.

        Other people on here may talk about the technical side of this relationship, but romantically and emotionally, you may find that once you are together, things may sizzle out. There really is something romantic about seeing someone overseas, but when you connect, things may be different. Just a little warning..
        What you can do though is give it a try, just like so many people like myself and others. You never know unless you try, and if it doesn't work out, at least you gave it your best shot and maybe things weren't meant to be!
        Really hope this helps and I wish you so much more luck then myself haha. Things may get hard but hang in there...if it's love, it's worth fighting for!

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