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Did I mess up?

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  • Did I mess up?

    Hi everyone, Sorry in advance for the long story but I can't stop thinking about that and I am not sure what should I do

    So me and this guy knew eachother since May 2013 in Boston. he is my friend's best friend. the first time we went out he acted really respectfully and I really liked him. the next time i saw him he acted completely differently. he didn't keep his hands off me. I felt embarassed because I didn't know him well and it was in front of his friends.After this I told him that I was not interested. a few weeks passed, my friend talks to me about him and I decide to give him another chance and we see eachother twice and then I had to go back to my hometown for a month. he comes with his friend to my hometown to visit the city (Vancover). but he barely spoke to me and his friend did all the talking with. I was confused. and then a month pass an no contact.
    I finally have to go back to Boston. and let him know i was there. we met and started dating that day. Everything was great for a month and a half and then comes the event where I think I messed up.
    I went to Vancover for a weekend and when I came back I asked him when I could see him. He replied Monday or Thursday. i was like ok lets meet on thursday. then on thursday i finished work late and was too tired. I first said that i could not make it and then 10 minutes later I called him back to say no let's meet. but then he couldnt because he was meeting his friend. I was really disappointed because I didnt saw him in 10 days. We finally saw eachother on Saturday and I told him that I felt really disappointed on Thursday he said that I was over reacting and that he was not the kind of guy to bail on his friends. I said that when we didnt see eachother in 10 days his friend would have understood espcially that he saw him on friday also. He wanted me to stay at his place that night but I refused

    Anyways after this event we saw eachother 3 more times. the first one he came to my place I cooked for him, he was kind of cold and making jokes about how I would react if instead of being with me he had chosen to see his friend. Since i thought I overreacted the last time I just smiled at him and didn't say anything . Then He canceled a date because he had friends coming and I said it was OK, The second date he was so tired from partying with his friends that he was barely awake and told me that I should find girlfriends to hang out with because he would rather be at home sleeping instead of with me now. I felt hurt, he asked me to spend the night withh him and I refused.
    Then i was in his hood texted him that I was near his place he told me that he would like to see me if I stay the night, i was like yes I am staying and I was on my way to his place . he said I have to go to the gym first. I said that I was already on my way.
    He told me if u dont wanna wait u can leave. At that point I had enough and I just broke up.
    Please let me know what u guys think, is there something to regret

  • You haven't really invested a lot of time in this relationship so I'd leave it be and find someone more compatible or more interested. Also, I'm just curious here, where is Vancover? If you mean Vancouver, it's an awful long way away from Boston and would be pretty expensive to hop back and forth anyway.
    That which we forget may as well never really happened.


    • Nothing to regret, no. Don't want to get hyper-analytical, but I don't like the sound of the hands all over you while not knowing you well thing - doesn't bode well for the future imo. Also the general lack of respect would only likely get worse. You did good, hon. There'll be other candidates.
      [FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR="#800080"][B][SIZE=4]Woman trapped inside a woman's body![/SIZE][/COLOR][/B][/FONT]


      • What still makes me think about him is that he wrote me a letter saying that he really did like me but that apparently we have different expectations. i feel that he judged me without knowing me.
        yes Vancouver, i live in Boston now


        • That's this weird thing we call dating/romance/life.
          [FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR="#800080"][B][SIZE=4]Woman trapped inside a woman's body![/SIZE][/COLOR][/B][/FONT]


          • Thanks I think I just have to forget about it


            • It seems as if he still is enjoying his life at the moment and a commitment may not be what he actually wants?


              • He actually told me that he was sorry because he is scared of commitment. But at the same time when we started dating he was the one telling me that he sees a future with me and he didnt feel that way for someone before. I dont know if I had been naive believing this or did I scare him by acting like I did. I usually move on fast but I dont know why I am still stuck on that. I kind of had more feeling for him afterwards. I don't know if I should contact him again or just leave it as it is.


                • So he just texted me after 2 months of NC because he wants to try again. I am confused


                  • Nope, I do not give my permission.

                    Seriously Kendra, this is just a losing proposition, assuming everything is as you said it is. No-go. Let him walk.
                    [FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR="#800080"][B][SIZE=4]Woman trapped inside a woman's body![/SIZE][/COLOR][/B][/FONT]


                    • So I said NO because I know that he is able of disrespecting me. e said That it was a mistake and that he will never do it again that he really likes me. But I said No, Thank you all for the replies.


                      • ok hi everybody. I feel stupid saying what im gonna say. I have been on a a few dates since last post but really I cant get that guy out of my head.Plus I saw a pic of him on FB and it made me sad Its really annoying. I know we didnt even date for a long time and it was not that great. But why do I want to see himPlease do u understand whats going on in my head because I dont . ( I know I am disappointing you Jen1447 (



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