[DreamP346]

We have a friend in his early 50's who became single in the last few years. I know he is lonely and he has tried the online dating, although no success so far. My husband is desperately trying to set him up. Any time there is a single woman (regardless of other factors), he is trying to set them up. I think this is too pushy. Yes, if this woman had something that would make one believe she would be a good match with our friend, I can see setting them up. But the lone fact that she is female and single just isn't reason enough for me. BTW, the women appear to be decent, not a looser. We either don't know much about them, or we know that these two people have nothing in common.

So, question to you single folks, do you like to be set up with anybody (as long as they are a decent person with a job) and let you decide if it's worth pursuing. Or would you only be brought up possible dates that we can provide more information about and possibly have something in common.

[rcoreyus]

There is a difference between introducing people and setting them up. Arranging for all of you to meet is fine, but in any way suggesting than that seems inappropriate to me.

[atskitty2]

Yep...nothing wrong with making introductions but blind dates or set ups can be awkward. I've had them all, and intros are better, preferably in a group setting.

Is this person asking for help? If not, I wouldn't get involved. They may be content with their singleness

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think it's difficult to answer, not knowing your friend.

I think it would be difficult on the woman whom he decided to perhaps "try" with, if they were not compatible however, she thought they were enough and then he left her a short time after.

At 50 we hope to find someone to connect with to spend the rest of our lives with and a woman at 50 I believe is very vulnerable as she feels she is getting older and no one will want her.

I think he has to be a gentleman and honest on his dates but I do think it's a good idea to date, keeps you in the loop of the dating game which is important.

Given I was 47 when I met my now fiancé and tried the on-line dating.. I think I have a bit of merit here

[DreamP346]

CW, our friend seems interested in meeting anybody he is set up with. He really does want to meet somebody and is very lonely. I think the reason my husband tries so hard is because we all feel bad for him. He's a really nice guy. Got divorced a few years ago and then his wife moved far away with his 2 kids. So he is really alone. I think he would respect a women and be good to her, but he's probably not the type who knows how to romance a woman. The quiet type. The type that wouldn't make for an exciting date, but if you stick around, would be as loyal as a dog.

Of course, we aren't pushing women at him. We ask if he's interested and if he is (and she is), we give them contact information so they can set up a date.

[DreamP346]

There is a difference between introducing people and setting them up. Arranging for all of you to meet is fine, but in any way suggesting than that seems inappropriate to me.

Why do you think it's inappropriate? Before internet dating, if you weren't aggressive about asking somebody out, your best bet was through people you knew and set ups. Even introductions are set ups. Both people know why they are being introduced. And it's not like they are being forced. Both parties agree to the set up. Pretty much, the friends are doing what the internet dating sites are doing--find who's available and provide their contact information.

[Stillness]

The type that wouldn't make for an exciting date, but if you stick around, would be as loyal as a dog.

I hope you aren't selling him that way to the ladies.

[DreamP346]

I hope you aren't selling him that way to the ladies.

I haven't been the one doing these set ups, so I don't know how my husband and others are doing the selling. Although I think it would be better to let the woman know what to expect. More than likely they will write him off after the first date (which is what he is experiencing) because he makes for a boring date. But if they gave him a chance knowing that he was a good guy, maybe he would have a better chance.

[rcoreyus]

Maybe "inappropriate" isn't quite right, but it feels like making assumptions about what each of them wants and could make things uncomfortable. If it is just a casual group meeting, it is very easy for either of them to just not contact the other again if they don't hit it off. Maybe its just my way of looking at things.

Why do you think it's inappropriate? Before internet dating, if you weren't aggressive about asking somebody out, your best bet was through people you knew and set ups. Even introductions are set ups. Both people know why they are being introduced. And it's not like they are being forced. Both parties agree to the set up. Pretty much, the friends are doing what the internet dating sites are doing--find who's available and provide their contact information.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Although I think it would be better to let the woman know what to expect. More than likely they will write him off after the first date (which is what he is experiencing) because he makes for a boring date
But, he may not be a boring date, with the right woman and our judge on our friends, may not really be correct as when alone with someone, a person is different.

I don't know how many times I've thought, wow didn't think "he" or "she" was that way and a woman makes a man, visa versa.

Maybe they see potential and are trying to write to see if he can communicate better this way, for now..

I don't think it's correct to give someone a brief on someone. Unless it's yourself. Because honestly, we really don't know what's in a closet.